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Are people intimidated by you?
- Thread starter MIKERAZ
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leancuisine
Guest
not a very intelligent question.
better phrased would be:
"are people respecting you more due to your massive size?"
better phrased would be:
"are people respecting you more due to your massive size?"
I never really notice it directly, but my girlfriend says that all of her guy friends are scared to talk to her anymore because they always see me in the gym and are affraid of me (I go to a university, so everyone sees everyone else at the gym). Personally, I think it is funny as hell. I am a pretty laid back guy, and not really that agressive unles you piss me off!
General Maximus
New member
I think "intimidate" is misunderstood. "Respect" should be the word of choice. The treatment a person receive's when they are in in shape versus when they are not is like night and day.
leancuisine said:
Much better rephrase. And yes, when I was at the top of my game a while back, I got respected very nicely.
However, since gaining 20 pounds of fat and looking like a big doughboy now, I dont get the same level of respect.
But, Im giving up playing computer games all the time and getting my ass back to the gym again.
Time to get that "respect" back.
EvolvingNeophyte
New member
people aren't intimidated by my size, however my 19" Godzilla shlong can, at times, make people a little uncomfortable. I try to hide it by wearing dresses, but that opens up a whole other cast of problems. btw, i went from a 4" twig to a 19" Godzilla shlong under the expert advice of Greg Valentino. 
it's part respect and part intimidation.
witch is good sometimes.
you see when I started liftin @ 19 I wanted too look like an underwear model to attract the girls, now I'm 38 and a taxi driver/doorman
I want to look scary, put people off robbing me. but I can also be very nice to people and smile a lot, like the other guy said.
someone wanted to give me a job in a rough part of town, as a bar manager,witch I have done before, he wants someone who looks scary, but who can be a nice guy and hold an intelligent conversation. MY friend said to this guy, " he looks like he eats babies, but I have not yet seen him do it"
looking a certain way and acting that way are two different things.
just remember what you are on, and how it may make you act.
witch is good sometimes.
you see when I started liftin @ 19 I wanted too look like an underwear model to attract the girls, now I'm 38 and a taxi driver/doorman
I want to look scary, put people off robbing me. but I can also be very nice to people and smile a lot, like the other guy said.
someone wanted to give me a job in a rough part of town, as a bar manager,witch I have done before, he wants someone who looks scary, but who can be a nice guy and hold an intelligent conversation. MY friend said to this guy, " he looks like he eats babies, but I have not yet seen him do it"
looking a certain way and acting that way are two different things.
just remember what you are on, and how it may make you act.
SofaGeorge
New member
"Intimidation" is an interesting concept - because really what it is talking about is "imprinted" on the limbic brain. The limbic brain is also called the "reptile brain" kind of the basic root of a lot of perceptions and interpretations on our most primitive level.
Size and power imprints on the limbic brain that you are a big dangerous dinosaur and people need to leave you alone.
Eight years ago, eight full years, I was at the chess park at the beach in Santa Monica. A dirt bag came through who had a reputation for violence. He used his size to intimidate people. He started shit with me and I ripped him off his bicycle and threw him trough a picnic table. It was a bone breaking moment. About a year after that another douche bag said he was going to stab my dog so I clocked through him at about 200 mph. (I couldn't even get him to stand up after that so I could punch him again... and I didn't feel like kicking him on the ground.)
Other than this, I have led an extremely violence free existence - yet when I go to the chess park... all these years later... the old people that play there have a kind of giggly feeling of safety... like they've got their own person Tyranasaurus Rex there to protect them. It's still the subject of a lot of jokes.
I've had times when I was hobbled with injuries... barely able to limp to the chess tables... an 8 year old with a stick could kick my ass... but the effect was still there... all these years later. Violence and intimidation imprints on the limbic brain for life. It's the same thing with size. It communicates a message to a primitive part of the human brain that you are a big dangerous dinosaur and need to be left alone.
Size and power imprints on the limbic brain that you are a big dangerous dinosaur and people need to leave you alone.
Eight years ago, eight full years, I was at the chess park at the beach in Santa Monica. A dirt bag came through who had a reputation for violence. He used his size to intimidate people. He started shit with me and I ripped him off his bicycle and threw him trough a picnic table. It was a bone breaking moment. About a year after that another douche bag said he was going to stab my dog so I clocked through him at about 200 mph. (I couldn't even get him to stand up after that so I could punch him again... and I didn't feel like kicking him on the ground.)
Other than this, I have led an extremely violence free existence - yet when I go to the chess park... all these years later... the old people that play there have a kind of giggly feeling of safety... like they've got their own person Tyranasaurus Rex there to protect them. It's still the subject of a lot of jokes.
I've had times when I was hobbled with injuries... barely able to limp to the chess tables... an 8 year old with a stick could kick my ass... but the effect was still there... all these years later. Violence and intimidation imprints on the limbic brain for life. It's the same thing with size. It communicates a message to a primitive part of the human brain that you are a big dangerous dinosaur and need to be left alone.
Sassy69
New member
"Intimidation" is an interesting concept....
I think the question "Are people intimidated by you" is both a perception people have of you and that you have of how you think they perceive you. This is an interesting concept because some people rely on their size to get their way or to "displace" other people. But as soon they come across one person who doesn't fall into the expected behavior (cringing, stepping aside), the "intimidation" factor gets all screwed up. This may screw with the guy trying to initimidate because people have discovered that he is trying to rely on that to deal with his own insecurities. Or other people will realize that the intimidator is not so much truly to be feared as is just an asshole.
This is not to say that this is the case w/ everyone big. Interestingly my perception of myself when I went after my first competition is that "DAYUM I'm finally lost that extra weight!" I felt like I shrank. Everyone around me seemed to all of a sudden be "intimidated" by my "size". Or was it just the fact that a female could actually have reasonably big biceps? Dunno. I still hear from a few guys that they are intimidated by my legs. Hmmmm. They ain't that big. This is just the way I am built. This then drives me nuts in a way that makes me feel like I'm HYUGE compared to all the cute little blonde chicks running around. Jeezus I'm not Amazon Woman.
So trying to get back to the "intimidation" factor & perception ... Some people are initimidated and as a result won't talk to me like a normal person. Then I feel like they think I'm weird (I have this remnant nerd complex from my teen years), so then I shy away from them and that makes them think that I'm "stuck up". Its like this evil circle, all because I was trying to go after an other than stick figure model look and because I personally really enjoy training.
Then I was thinking, maybe some people find that they get this "intimidation" response, and then start to thrive on it to perpetuate it. They go for the shock value response.
Anyway.. just some random thoughts. One thing I did notice - I was in my gym w/ some friends who are fairly built and these guys got the stares, but they also had a lot of other guys walk up and start talking to them because they were impressed. I expect there were some people in the gym who were intimidated as well and just stared.
Interesting... limbic brain huh? I gotta go look that up.
I think the question "Are people intimidated by you" is both a perception people have of you and that you have of how you think they perceive you. This is an interesting concept because some people rely on their size to get their way or to "displace" other people. But as soon they come across one person who doesn't fall into the expected behavior (cringing, stepping aside), the "intimidation" factor gets all screwed up. This may screw with the guy trying to initimidate because people have discovered that he is trying to rely on that to deal with his own insecurities. Or other people will realize that the intimidator is not so much truly to be feared as is just an asshole.
This is not to say that this is the case w/ everyone big. Interestingly my perception of myself when I went after my first competition is that "DAYUM I'm finally lost that extra weight!" I felt like I shrank. Everyone around me seemed to all of a sudden be "intimidated" by my "size". Or was it just the fact that a female could actually have reasonably big biceps? Dunno. I still hear from a few guys that they are intimidated by my legs. Hmmmm. They ain't that big. This is just the way I am built. This then drives me nuts in a way that makes me feel like I'm HYUGE compared to all the cute little blonde chicks running around. Jeezus I'm not Amazon Woman.
So trying to get back to the "intimidation" factor & perception ... Some people are initimidated and as a result won't talk to me like a normal person. Then I feel like they think I'm weird (I have this remnant nerd complex from my teen years), so then I shy away from them and that makes them think that I'm "stuck up". Its like this evil circle, all because I was trying to go after an other than stick figure model look and because I personally really enjoy training.
Then I was thinking, maybe some people find that they get this "intimidation" response, and then start to thrive on it to perpetuate it. They go for the shock value response.
Anyway.. just some random thoughts. One thing I did notice - I was in my gym w/ some friends who are fairly built and these guys got the stares, but they also had a lot of other guys walk up and start talking to them because they were impressed. I expect there were some people in the gym who were intimidated as well and just stared.
Interesting... limbic brain huh? I gotta go look that up.
SofaGeorge
New member
This thread brings to mind a very interesting saying, one I don't ever hear anymore:
"A small man will kill you."
The concept - a big guy will lunk around thinking he can intimidate you, but a small tough guy with courage will just go straight for your throat. He doesn't have the dellusion of being able to intimidate people - so he goes right for the kill.
"A small man will kill you."
The concept - a big guy will lunk around thinking he can intimidate you, but a small tough guy with courage will just go straight for your throat. He doesn't have the dellusion of being able to intimidate people - so he goes right for the kill.
hard as rocks
New member
its funny this comes up because just the other day 6 of the ladies from my gym were talking about me.
they said i look like a mass murderer but they said they have never met a nicer guy.
they all know that im very friendly and always polite too people but i guess because my size and my look if you didnt know me i can be intimidating.
im 5-6 around 190-195 about 12% bodyfat.
when i was younger i would be scared of me too.i was not only trained too fight but also liked it lol.
now that im older it takes a lot too get me angry, and being nice too people gets you more respect than anything.
they said i look like a mass murderer but they said they have never met a nicer guy.
they all know that im very friendly and always polite too people but i guess because my size and my look if you didnt know me i can be intimidating.
im 5-6 around 190-195 about 12% bodyfat.
when i was younger i would be scared of me too.i was not only trained too fight but also liked it lol.
now that im older it takes a lot too get me angry, and being nice too people gets you more respect than anything.
C
Citruscide
Guest
They are intimidated by the fact I carry a big stick... they call me asshole... does that count?
C-ditty
C-ditty
I think that it's important to make the difference between "intimidation" and "animosity". I do believe that in the gym, or most social situations, having a good physique can bring out animosity in other men.
About 5 months ago I was still training for strength and bulk rather than an aesthetic physique. At one point I was 240lbs on 5'9". I was very strong, had a lot of muscles, but also a lot of fat (15-17%). At this time, despite being big and strong every guy was very friendly to me at the gym, we would joke around and shoot the wind.
Fast forward to now, I'm at around 215-220lbs with 6% bodyfat (university tested), I got a tan, a very deep set of abs and everything. Oddly, the same guys who were very friendly before give me "gun stares", and they don't even say "Hi". They also talk behind my back a lot. At first I wondered what was wrong: "I'm a nice guy and I have not changed my attitude in the past 5 months, in fact I think that I'm nicer and without the added bulk I look a lot less intimidating".
I talked to a competitive bodybuilder who trains at my gym, nicest guy you could ever meet! Intelligent, outgoing, friendly ... and every guy in the gym hates his guts!!! That's how I came to realize that animosity is often a byproduct of jealousy.
When I was "big and strong" but did not have a good looking physique guys were not jealous ... "Yeah he may be strong, but he doesn't look better than me".
But now that I have a ripped physique they look at me in envy. Thier jealousy being compounded by the fact that all the girls in the gym took notice of me and all go out of their way to talk to me.
So because I now look much better than they do, they feel envy, which fuels animosity.
It's the same thing as when a great looking woman enters a room full of other women, oftentimes the women in the room will look at her with animosity and start babling about her.
About 5 months ago I was still training for strength and bulk rather than an aesthetic physique. At one point I was 240lbs on 5'9". I was very strong, had a lot of muscles, but also a lot of fat (15-17%). At this time, despite being big and strong every guy was very friendly to me at the gym, we would joke around and shoot the wind.
Fast forward to now, I'm at around 215-220lbs with 6% bodyfat (university tested), I got a tan, a very deep set of abs and everything. Oddly, the same guys who were very friendly before give me "gun stares", and they don't even say "Hi". They also talk behind my back a lot. At first I wondered what was wrong: "I'm a nice guy and I have not changed my attitude in the past 5 months, in fact I think that I'm nicer and without the added bulk I look a lot less intimidating".
I talked to a competitive bodybuilder who trains at my gym, nicest guy you could ever meet! Intelligent, outgoing, friendly ... and every guy in the gym hates his guts!!! That's how I came to realize that animosity is often a byproduct of jealousy.
When I was "big and strong" but did not have a good looking physique guys were not jealous ... "Yeah he may be strong, but he doesn't look better than me".
But now that I have a ripped physique they look at me in envy. Thier jealousy being compounded by the fact that all the girls in the gym took notice of me and all go out of their way to talk to me.
So because I now look much better than they do, they feel envy, which fuels animosity.
It's the same thing as when a great looking woman enters a room full of other women, oftentimes the women in the room will look at her with animosity and start babling about her.
hey
MAD_WORLD, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but at 5'9 and 220 you are still huge. The fact that you are short and cut probaly makes you look jacked beyond belief, probaly bigger then you looked at 240. Thats only 20lbs. These people at your gym probaly think you added muscle.
So I think you qualify in the "intimidating" class for this one. At that height and weight you have to have 19,20,21 inch guns thats enough to get most men to get out your way, especially at 6% bodyfat.
At my gym its different. When I was 235 people hardly said shit to me, now that I'm 270 and throwing up a shit load of weight everything has changed. Hell in the summer time when I wear tank tops almost everywhere I go I get a qeustion about working out.
MAD_WORLD, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but at 5'9 and 220 you are still huge. The fact that you are short and cut probaly makes you look jacked beyond belief, probaly bigger then you looked at 240. Thats only 20lbs. These people at your gym probaly think you added muscle.
So I think you qualify in the "intimidating" class for this one. At that height and weight you have to have 19,20,21 inch guns thats enough to get most men to get out your way, especially at 6% bodyfat.
At my gym its different. When I was 235 people hardly said shit to me, now that I'm 270 and throwing up a shit load of weight everything has changed. Hell in the summer time when I wear tank tops almost everywhere I go I get a qeustion about working out.
I've often wondered the same thing, and have been told at times that I'm intimidating. (at 5'8" 195# I just don't see it).
When I go out alone, I notice a lot of people look at me, yet very few will ever speak, unless I smile and speak first.
So maybe in the world of skinny and outta shape people, someone with a little size can be "intimidating"
When I go out alone, I notice a lot of people look at me, yet very few will ever speak, unless I smile and speak first.
So maybe in the world of skinny and outta shape people, someone with a little size can be "intimidating"
sicklydiesel
New member
im only 5'10 200lbs...so not really intimated by my size...but i definetly intimidate women with my looks 
..it sucks because im a little on the quiet side so most girls will think im a conceited prick, i noticed that only confident secure chicks will approach or flirt with me.
..it sucks because im a little on the quiet side so most girls will think im a conceited prick, i noticed that only confident secure chicks will approach or flirt with me.Similar threads
