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Appearances and how much they matter

F

fyxgel

New member
Some people tell me that my standards are too high, and that I shouldnt just
show interest in hot girls, but that I should be equal and show just as much interest to the ugly girls as well.

The rationale for this is that once you get to know them their appearances wont matter, because in the end you will like them just as much as you would have liked the hot girl,
but quite honestly, i cant see this.

It seems to me that appearances play a big part and that you should try to get a hot girl if you can. (if you yourself are attractive enough for one)

I guess to be honest I just dont think I could be dating a girl that was way beneath my league in appearances and be happy.
So what are these "looks dont matter" folks talking about?
 
fyxgel said:
Some people tell me that my standards are too high, and that I shouldnt just
show interest in hot girls, but that I should be equal and show just as much interest to the ugly girls as well.

The rationale for this is that once you get to know them their appearances wont matter, because in the end you will like them just as much as you would have liked the hot girl,
but quite honestly, i cant see this.

It seems to me that appearances play a big part and that you should try to get a hot girl if you can. (if you yourself are attractive enough for one)

I guess to be honest I just dont think I could be dating a girl that was way beneath my league in appearances and be happy.
So what are these "looks dont matter" folks talking about?
Click to expand...


You're not far off on this. Looks are typically the first thing that draws us to other people. Then of course there are those time were you're not all that attracted to the person but as things progress you find them more and more attractive simply because you like their personality so much.
 
everything in life is visual at first...there must be an attraction from the onset...what we feel and precieve to be attractive may not be to everyone else...."attractiveness" belongs to those individuals...
 
there are plenty of girls i find attractive that people will be like "shes nothign special" and vice versa. how you perceive yourself plays a role in how you perceive others, looks included.
 
i think here's the bottom line:

I'm going to date a girl who is fairly hot, if I can, and if I can't then I will gradually lower my standards until the fish start biting.
 
Aside from my girl, I have found that appearance matters first to most women, but not entirely imporatnt. Although my girl and I, could not keep our hands off to oneanother, there was more to our relationship than looks alone. That was apparent from the start. I am a good looking guy, but looks (On that matter) are not important to some at all. From my past other experiences, it is what you have in the bank counts the most, or what they can get from you. Women (not all) but most, I have encountered, are much more cold hearted than guys I know, think nothing of hurting whomever they feel, and only want what they want, only when it suits "them." Looks matter, but not that much it seems, as one would think. The trade off is money. That would explain a lot, see'ing ugly guys with real good looking chicks a lot these days. You wondered how the heck they ever got them... It looks like apples and oranges. I am happy my relationships in the past did not last, and I met my girl I have been with for 5+ years. I had some cash then,... , but if you have the look some women want, some will take the trade off, for the "infactuation factor." What I think I got a lot. Not "tooting my own horn" but that sums it up for me, and my past relationships. All shitbag cumdumpsters. It is nice though to see a good looking couple, although it is rare. Most women usually have different wants than most men. Example, is look at the stuf on telivision "The Bachelor" or such shows. Great example. The women on there, at first, had no idea who the guy was, only that he was "rich" and lined up to marry him. I would have treated them like the whores they were. That is messed up. I hate shows like that. Only adds to the bullshit perpetuates on today. Regardless, I am so glad I met a woman that finally made me see that not all women operate that way. I love here so...



This applies to "a lot" of women today...

"NOT ALL!"
 
Most women (upper 90%) are whores by nature and definition. Just the way of things. Though they do like 'hot' guys on a more primal level I've found.
 
appearances are everything. reason: people are stupid.

let me repeat that in case you missed it: PEOPLE ARE STUPID

you can be the best bloke out there, but unless you present yourself properly, youre going to be pushed to the side, marginalised, overlooked, and basically treated like walking furniture.

what the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes. learn it. live by it.

obviously its more important earlier on in any relationship, but of course is an indelible part of human interaction.

oh, and by the way, youre the same shit. everyone is, to some degree. its fine to talk about it like we are innocent of any wrongdoing, but we all do it. you let your own preconceptions show in your statement "if youre attractive enough".

as for what the "looks dont matter" crowd are talking about, weeeeell, could be a lot of things. it could be the usual covering up of shallowness that young girls do (they swear black and blue that they dont care about looks, but throw a hot guy into the mix, and they go for it like bigdawg jumping on a krispy kreme) or it could be that they are talking about the post initial attraction stage (where looks matter less). my feeling, though, is that true to form, their brains were disconnected and they were talking a load of mindless bullshit. you want to learn something about a woman, watch and see what she does. dont listen to what comes out of her mouth.

jade isnt just a rock
 
dooood!!!!!!

why not become friends with some of the gals first
dont worry about dating
"friends with benifits"
plus, she may have some nice friends for you if she thinks you are a cool guy

lighten up!!!!!!!
 
GoldenDelicious said:
you can be the best bloke out there, but unless you present yourself properly, youre going to be pushed to the side, marginalised, overlooked, and basically treated like walking furniture.
Click to expand...
Hey that's me exactly, all substance no presentation. Oh well, being pushed to the side aint that bad. :D
 
Obviously it's the appearance you see first. As for me, I don't seek the FINEST guy etc... if he happens to be, then bonus! My fiancé is not GREAT looking to most people & that's fine. In my eyes he's GORGEOUS because of the way I got to know him and therefore his looks only got better. He has so many qualities that I love & that's what counts. He's not rich & he can hardly take care of me financially, however he takes great care of me in many other ways. He's everything I need & want & I don't care what other people think or say! I've had people whom I hadn't seen in a while whisper to me, "Janet, you could do so much better".... that's so ignorant! They only judged him on his looks rather than ask how he treats me or if I'm happy. We see appearances first, but we have to make sure to see more otherwise if they're great looking w/ no personality, then it'll eventually not work!
 
I will be the first to admint that looks are very important to me and I don't apologize for being this way.

With that said, I will nothing to do with a hot woman who brings nothing else to the table either.

Its a womans looks that draw me to her, then if I like what is on the inside I pursue them.
 
fxygel, i've seen your picture, and you look 'average'

I think you're setting your standards too high in the first place.

Have you thought about being showy with your money? Women bite on money.
 
I dont care how hot the woman was, if I thou8ght for even a moment thayt she was dating me for my bank account.. Id take her for everything she had and dump her ass on the street. Id try and get her fired from whatever miserable ass job she had too.

Golddiggers are the most disgusting, vile creatures on this planet. They are nothing but prostitutes.
 
everyone checks out looks first, its just a fact. which is why when i see some UGLY fuckers out there with hot chicks i think; what the fuck happened over here? (usually followed by thinkin; why the hell am I not banging that chick, but thats besides the point)
 
SAGAT said:
everyone checks out looks first, its just a fact. which is why when i see some UGLY fuckers out there with hot chicks i think; what the fuck happened over here? (usually followed by thinkin; why the hell am I not banging that chick, but thats besides the point)
Click to expand...

had this conversation so many times when i was workin at the mall

lmao
 
fyxgel said:
Some people tell me that my standards are too high, and that I shouldnt just
show interest in hot girls, but that I should be equal and show just as much interest to the ugly girls as well.

The rationale for this is that once you get to know them their appearances wont matter, because in the end you will like them just as much as you would have liked the hot girl,
but quite honestly, i cant see this.

It seems to me that appearances play a big part and that you should try to get a hot girl if you can. (if you yourself are attractive enough for one)

I guess to be honest I just dont think I could be dating a girl that was way beneath my league in appearances and be happy.
So what are these "looks dont matter" folks talking about?
Click to expand...

As you get older looks will matter less and less. Besides if you really get to know someone they will become more attractive to you.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Scotsman said:
As you get older looks will matter less and less. Besides if you really get to know someone they will become more attractive to you.

Cheers,
Scotsman
Click to expand...

plus, whats so wrong with just having friends that are the opposite sex?
 
It has alot to do with attitude.I can get to know an average looking female and if she has a great personality i am attracted to her.
 
Looks do matter.


You never look across a crowded room and become attracted to their inner-being.

Looks get you in the door......period
 
The Shadow said:
Looks do matter.


You never look across a crowded room and become attracted to their inner-being.

Looks get you in the door......period
Click to expand...


Yep...also even older women like nice looking guys... I almost get the impression it reminds them of the guys they used to bang before they got married
 
Eh, looks do matter for a first impression but first impressions are not long lasting and those first impressions won't always dictate your future or the longevity of any relationship.
 
velvett said:
Eh, looks do matter for a first impression but first impressions are not long lasting and those first impressions won't always dictate your future or the longevity of any relationship.
Click to expand...

Well thats a given
 
crew9 said:
Well thats a given
Click to expand...

Well, those that think have the "looks" think that's all they need and those who think they don't have the "looks" think that all they need to be is the one with the "looks" - it distorts reality.
 
Girls that 2 years ago I would've said "no way" too are now girls today that I would consider dating. This is proof alone of the as you age logic, because I have in no way lowered my standards, if anything highered them.
 
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