Anyone else dead-handing themselves right now?

[supersizeme]

Shit...I totally am. This last episode, it took 15 minutes of sitting on my hand with the wrist bent until finally all the feeling in my hand went away. But good lord, once it does, it's like you're not even burping your own worm. Everyone keeps coming into my cube, saying "hey supersizeme does that really work? dead-handing yourself?" and i tell them in furious mid-pump, "yes my friend, it's like a whole new world." Usually around this time after lunch I can be found in my cube either sitting on my hand waiting for my new tingly yet numb girlfriend to arrive, or I'm sitting there with my senseless fist full of something special going through the usual motions. Just curious what everyone else is up to this fine afternoon.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I'm currently cleaning my monitor off from spitting out the water that was in my mouth you fucker.

my arms and hands are always falling asleep, I should give that a try.

also the game that was introduced to me via Moby on some mtv special or perhaps a Spin article - "balls on" - you just walk around a party, or the office, and you get points for each second that you can take your balls out and rest them on someone without them knowing.

 

[gymtime]

At the moment, I'm laughing loud enough to scare my coworkers. Where the fuck do you get this stuff??

 

[Gilbyag]

Shit...I totally am. This last episode, it took 15 minutes of sitting on my hand with the wrist bent until finally all the feeling in my hand went away. But good lord, once it does, it's like you're not even pumping your own worm hole. Everyone keeps coming into my cube, saying "hey supersizeme does that really work? dead-handing yourself?" and i tell them in furious mid-pump, "yes my friend, it's like a whole new world." Usually around this time after lunch I can be found in my cube either sitting on my hand waiting for my new tingly yet numb boyfriend to arrive, or I'm sitting there with my senseless fist fully up my ass going through the usual motions. Just curious what everyone else is up to this fine afternoon.

...certinley not that.

 

[supersizeme]

well holy shittles.
"balls on" sounds like one of the greatest games mankind has ever invented. i can't believe i haven't played this before and why is not a part of elementary school recess? this could replace dodgeball and red rover if implemented properly. i've often wanted to walk around this office before with my fly down and my sweet, fat balls swinging out like some sort of applebag pendulum for all of the rest of my team to see. and to think of kindly placing them on someone else's person when they weren't even remotely thinking about having balls put on them that day!! it's a truly amazing world we have balls in. also when i'm deadhanding myself, i like to not sit in my chair but rather open one of my filing cabinets and plant my ass in that. it seems to dissipate the shock of me jerking myself off right there in the office because people are more likely to come up to me and say, "hey supersizeme, what the fuck are you doing sitting in your filing cabinet" as opposed to "why are you wearing that reindeer potholder and furiously rubbing your lubed up penis like that until the point of orgasm??"

 

[the nature boy]

Shit...I totally am. This last episode, it took 15 minutes of sitting on my hand with the wrist bent until finally all the feeling in my hand went away. But good lord, once it does, it's like you're not even burping your own worm. Everyone keeps coming into my cube, saying "hey supersizeme does that really work? dead-handing yourself?" and i tell them in furious mid-pump, "yes my friend, it's like a whole new world." Usually around this time after lunch I can be found in my cube either sitting on my hand waiting for my new tingly yet numb girlfriend to arrive, or I'm sitting there with my senseless fist full of something special going through the usual motions. Just curious what everyone else is up to this fine afternoon.

it's also known as the "stranger". because it feels like someone else is jerkin your gerkin.

 

[HappyScrappy]

man, I just can't touch that - ssme is far too funny - when I move to TX we better hang out some time jerkwad

 

[supersizeme]

i think i scared half the board off with this thread. it'll be one of those threads that gets 80 views but then like 3 replies and everyone else who read it just goes, what the fuck?

HS how was you and small's new years together? email a honkey if need be. i promise i won't cut and paste your email here on the elite fitness chat and conversation board, i'll simply spread it around via PM behind your back.

 

[HappyScrappy]

its all already been discussed on the board.
not much - it was laid back, but the night before was far more eventful... or maybe it was two nights before - fuck, I wasn't even all that drunk and I don't recall.

it involved other board members, fights, puking, and me carrying al for over a block. she's really heavy for 104lbs.

 

[MommaKin]

EnormousCockSizeme, thanks for this

 

[Thick dog]

What's up, Superanalyviolateme?

 

[supersizeme]

nada thick...still out on ho patrol. had a really good new years even and shit. are you still with the same chickadee? gimme the details...email me if you'd rather not put it up on this board full of crazy meatheads.
[email protected]

 

[Crazier]

I will be trying this tonight.

Thanks SSME!!!
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