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Anybody dating a single mother?

I used to screw the tar out of one....thing is she wasn't single at the time.
 
How old is the child/children?

I've dated single moms before. The biggest thing is to be careful about how close you get to the child in the early stages of dating. If the relationship is not going anywhere, you and the mother are old enough to accept it and deal with it, the child isn't, especially with younger children. Most women I know don't even introduce their dates to their kids until after several dates.
 
Dougly said:
She has a 2yo girl. I didn't meet the kid till several weeks after we'd been going out.
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That's the best way to handle it.

I'm glad that everything is working out for you and them. :)
 
I have before on 2 occasions and would have no problem doing it again.

As said you have to look at it as a package deal. If you don't bail out as the mother and the child deserve more.
 
saint808 said:
The only thing that sucks is you get double the heartbreak if things go bad.
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That's crossed my mind. Things feel good right now. I'm just going to go with it. My hearts been broken before.
 
have been with single moms- great, gotta love em (fly minnesota mommies!)

my daughter's mother is also a single mom (I am not a dead beat dad in any way, my daughter actually lives with me most of the time)
 
MrMakaveli said:
Err..kinda....

She's 18 too...interesting, sweet girl, just seems to have fucked up once and paid for it.
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These things do happen.

The one single mother I was dating was 27, she had her child when she was 15 and with her families help kept him and raised him.

Had I judged her at the beggining for having a child, which she told me of right away, I would have missed out on a great woman and boy.
 
I married one. It was much more complex then the standard relationship. You have to really be able to accept the child as much as the women. My advice to anybody in this situation is to wait to see how you two work first, then move into the kid thing only when your serious. Too much for a little kid to understand.
 
Turd Ferguson said:
I married one. It was much more complex then the standard relationship. You have to really be able to accept the child as much as the women. My advice to anybody in this situation is to wait to see how you two work first, then move into the kid thing only when your serious. Too much for a little kid to understand.
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Exactly the way to do it.

Being a kid who had a single mom, this is the best thing for everyone as you are right, kids are to young to understand.

I never met anyone my mother dated until I met the man who became my step-Dad. The last thing a child needs is to have men come and go in there lives, especially when a lot of times their real father walked out.
 
Yes.

But no way in hell am i marrying one and raising someone ELSE'S kid. I'm not gonna deal with some other guy coming over every weekend, taking the kid. Perhaps one day even trying to get the mom back, etc. etc. The kid growing up, wanting to see her dad, calling him dad, etc.

I don't need that crap. When i marry, i'm old-fashioned and doing it the right way. Raising a complete family with a loving wife. I know what i want, and have no desire to settle for less.

I know it sucks for single moms, but that's why you ALWAYS date the *nice* guy, and *don't* rush into marraige and ALWAYS live for a few years together *BEFORE* having that first kid. If people would only freakin' follow those simples rules -- it would've eliminated 80% of the single mom's out there.
 
Razorguns said:
Yes.

But no way in hell am i marrying one and raising someone ELSE'S kid. I'm not gonna deal with some other guy coming over every weekend, taking the kid. Perhaps one day even trying to get the mom back, etc. etc. The kid growing up, wanting to see her dad, calling him dad, etc.

I don't need that crap. When i marry, i'm old-fashioned and doing it the right way. Raising a complete family with a loving wife. I know what i want, and have no desire to settle for less.

I know it sucks for single moms, but that's why you ALWAYS date the *nice* guy, and *don't* rush into marraige and ALWAYS live for a few years together *BEFORE* having that first kid. If people would only freakin' follow those simples rules -- it would've eliminated 80% of the single mom's out there.
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That's harsh.

Yet, so true at the same time.
 
so probably not a good thing for the kid to walk in on you taking her in the poopchute on the couch while she calls you Daddy.
 
Dougly said:
Pretty good actually. I think I'm falling in love with both of them.
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Cool and all, but if it turns out bad it sucks big time. It's like breaking up with two or three people at the same time. 3x the heartache.
 
Razorguns said:
Yes.

But no way in hell am i marrying one and raising someone ELSE'S kid. I'm not gonna deal with some other guy coming over every weekend, taking the kid. Perhaps one day even trying to get the mom back, etc. etc. The kid growing up, wanting to see her dad, calling him dad, etc.

I don't need that crap. When i marry, i'm old-fashioned and doing it the right way. Raising a complete family with a loving wife. I know what i want, and have no desire to settle for less.

I know it sucks for single moms, but that's why you ALWAYS date the *nice* guy, and *don't* rush into marraige and ALWAYS live for a few years together *BEFORE* having that first kid. If people would only freakin' follow those simples rules -- it would've eliminated 80% of the single mom's out there.
Click to expand...

No , would never date one for all the reasons you mention , like it or not the parents have a bond that you can never break.
 
Razorguns said:
Yes.

But no way in hell am i marrying one and raising someone ELSE'S kid. I'm not gonna deal with some other guy coming over every weekend, taking the kid. Perhaps one day even trying to get the mom back, etc. etc. The kid growing up, wanting to see her dad, calling him dad, etc.

I don't need that crap. When i marry, i'm old-fashioned and doing it the right way. Raising a complete family with a loving wife. I know what i want, and have no desire to settle for less.

I know it sucks for single moms, but that's why you ALWAYS date the *nice* guy, and *don't* rush into marraige and ALWAYS live for a few years together *BEFORE* having that first kid. If people would only freakin' follow those simples rules -- it would've eliminated 80% of the single mom's out there.
Click to expand...

very good point.

If the natural father is still a part of the child's life, it can make your relationship with the mother and child very difficult indeed in the longer term.
 
I just met a single mother tonight at work. She seemed cool, but you could see the insane seeping out of her pores.

Being almost 28 kinda blows when it comes to finding single no kid having women.
 
yes, not only am i dating bigdawgs mother i am punishing her vagina! she likes it dirty wet and full of grease!
 
I am too. Going good. Kid is now 7. GF is 26. Everything is ok but no marriage. IF youre serious then you have to be again as everyone says raising the child too. ONe way or another you are helping raising the child.
 
did she say you were beautiful???????? hahaahhahahahahahahahahahahhah FAG!!!!!!
 
Another problem is this. *IF* you marrya single mom. And you spend 5 years with her. And one day, you divorce, but you've grown attached to the kid like your own. Love the child. Guess what. You now have NO rights whatsoever, and you're on your way and dick all you can do.

So technically the kid will *never* be your own. She can at any time take the kid away from your life, and tough noodles. At least if it's *yours*, you can fight for custody and child-sharing.
 
Razorguns said:
Yes.

But no way in hell am i marrying one and raising someone ELSE'S kid. I'm not gonna deal with some other guy coming over every weekend, taking the kid. Perhaps one day even trying to get the mom back, etc. etc. The kid growing up, wanting to see her dad, calling him dad, etc.

I don't need that crap. When i marry, i'm old-fashioned and doing it the right way. Raising a complete family with a loving wife. I know what i want, and have no desire to settle for less.

I know it sucks for single moms, but that's why you ALWAYS date the *nice* guy, and *don't* rush into marraige and ALWAYS live for a few years together *BEFORE* having that first kid. If people would only freakin' follow those simples rules -- it would've eliminated 80% of the single mom's out there.
Click to expand...

Just curious. You would date a single mom, but no way in hell you would marry one. Then what is the point of dating her? Does she know for a fact from the getco that the relationship will never go anywhere?

Actually I know quite a few single moms that would soooooooo be down with that as they don't want a man ruling their lives and messing with their business. They have an ex that is more than enough to deal with. The "guy" is just booty.

Since there is no way in hell you would have a relationship that will go anywhere with said woman, you don't meet the kids so no need to even ask. This is a given, correct?

I wonder if the women on the board feel the same about the men with children. :bright:
 
Werd said:
I wonder if the women on the board feel the same about the men with children. :bright:
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On that subject I can confer that Mandinka2 was right on saying "No , would never date one for all the reasons you mention, like it or not the parents have a bond that you can never break."

Before I married, I did date a man who had a daughter but she lived w/ the mother in another city. As time went on, I saw that the daughter would always come 1st in his life. Even though she was far away in distance, she was always in his thoughts. There were other reasons (unrelated to the child) that the relationship broke up, but I learned an important lesson about myself - that I wanted a relationship where I'd be #1 to him and he'd be #1 to me.

I believe if a man or woman has a child, that child should come first, and anyone who's in a relationship with them better be OK with that, or the relationship is doomed.
 
I would never expect that I would come before the child. I don't have a problem with that. I have a mother and don't need her for that.
The father is still around, when it's convenient for him. He's pretty much a baby sitter for when my girlfriend has to work. And half the time he pawns her off on his mother. I know that he is Daddy, always will be. I'm not trying to be daddy. Maybe some day Step Dad, but right now I'm very happy being mommies boyfriend that cares a lot about the little girl.
 
Dougly said:
I would never expect that I would come before the child. I don't have a problem with that. I have a mother and don't need her for that.
The father is still around, when it's convenient for him. He's pretty much a baby sitter for when my girlfriend has to work. And half the time he pawns her off on his mother. I know that he is Daddy, always will be. I'm not trying to be daddy. Maybe some day Step Dad, but right now I'm very happy being mommies boyfriend that cares a lot about the little girl.
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Good for you bro, if it goes all the way it can work, and you seem to understand that you will be second to the child.

My step-dad is a great man and knew and accepted his role. Never tried to be my real Dad as I had one. Only time he got in my face was when I disrespected my mother in front of him. And he was right in doing so. I respect that man more then almost anyone on the planet.
 
FitFossil said:
On that subject I can confer that Mandinka2 was right on saying "No , would never date one for all the reasons you mention, like it or not the parents have a bond that you can never break."

Before I married, I did date a man who had a daughter but she lived w/ the mother in another city. As time went on, I saw that the daughter would always come 1st in his life. Even though she was far away in distance, she was always in his thoughts. There were other reasons (unrelated to the child) that the relationship broke up, but I learned an important lesson about myself - that I wanted a relationship where I'd be #1 to him and he'd be #1 to me.

I believe if a man or woman has a child, that child should come first, and anyone who's in a relationship with them better be OK with that, or the relationship is doomed.
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Totally understandable and acceptable.

But I wonder, if you found a mate that was excellent in every other area would it be "enough" to be a strong and important role model in the life a child that you did not bring into the world?

It takes an entire village to raise a single child.

I have been told by adult children of divorce that they often had a special place in their hearts for the nonbiological parent because

A)they loved and accepted their parent exactly the way they were.

B)they loved that child REGARDLESS of the fact that they were not biologically related - in other words - they CHOSE to love that child, it was not out of obligation.

Just food for thought.
 
Dating is hard enough for SINGLE people -- let alone adding another variable for a kid and an ex-husband into the equation. Most of us can't date more than 1-2 months before someone starts getting "weird" and moving on to a better model. LA is littered with single mom's who no one wants. Most of them don't even *want* to get remarried again or have more kids.
 
Razorguns said:
Dating is hard enough for SINGLE people -- let alone adding another variable for a kid and an ex-husband into the equation. Most of us can't date more than 1-2 months before someone starts getting "weird" and moving on to a better model. LA is littered with single mom's who no one wants. Most of them don't even *want* to get remarried again or have more kids.
Click to expand...

I won't disagree with you there, but you also have to remember that a lot of the world is littered with single fathers as well, do you think that these men are any more desirable?

Just a question.

Also, what does a woman *wanting* or not *wanting* to get married again have to do with anything? I should think that these women are in a hyuge hurry to find a man to take care of them.... aren't they? I mean, they are so obviously defective by virtue of the fact that they already have another man's child.

Not trying to be a weisenheimer, just being curious is all.
 
Actually most single mom's are *not* looking for a husband. Only thing differnt with them is -- they're not into "dating". They'd rather focus on their kids. If they *DO* date -- it's for a prospective father. They won't date you, so they can be miss girls gone wild with you every sat night at clubs, and blow u in the backseat of your car. Probably why they wound up with a kid in the first place. One good thing, single mom's are much more mature and have less drama than those single, attitude-laden chicks we all deal with. :)
 
Razorguns said:
Probably why they wound up with a kid in the first place.
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Nope - they are just not into putting up with men's shit and want to get their rocks off and leave. Why is that so surprizing?
 
my last 4 GFs have been mothers..at the moment I have a choice betw a 32 yr old w/o children and a 25 yr old w/two..the 25 yr old is hot as hell(the avatra)and has only been with her husband(married young and got pregnant on the honeymoon)..this aspect in itself is quite appealing..however,on the other hand I really like the other gal more and she is quite sexy herself..and I am bonding more with the solo gal as she and I both desire to have a family..so I'm going with the solo gal,even though I am quite comfortable with the idea of being the "second" dad....I don't have to be number one in anyone's life..in fact I'm a bit cautious when I feel as if my SO's life revolves around my every action..if you love me and show me some kindness,I don't have to be your number one,and I'll return the favor to both you and your children regarding providing love and caring
 
and before you wise guys jump me...I think of a women that I care about with children as an opportunity to spread myself around more
 
yes she is,and the young lady is worried about her breast size..I'm an ass and leg man,boobs are overated..of course I told her so
 
My parents divorced when I was around 5 years old. Unfortunately, my dad introduced me to most of his girlfriends and I would get really attached to them. Then they'd be gone. I wish he would've just kept his relationships to himself and not included me in them at all... would've been easier on me, especially as a little kid. Then one of his more serious girlfriends moved in and lived with him for 5 years. She was like a second mom to me and I really loved her. That didn't work out either and it was kind of like my parents divorcing all over again.

I think single parents should really think hard before getting their kids involved in their relationships. I never met anyone my mom dated until she was dating my stepfather... she knew it was serious and that she wouldn't be confusing my life more.
 
Soon kids will be dealing with no only single mom's and dad's, but mom and dad's constant flow of gay partners. And you thought life was confusing then!! Now you'll have lack of a mom of father figure -- but have a nice happy gay lifestyle to live in.
 
lucidBlue said:
My parents divorced when I was around 5 years old. Unfortunately, my dad introduced me to most of his girlfriends and I would get really attached to them. Then they'd be gone. I wish he would've just kept his relationships to himself and not included me in them at all... would've been easier on me, especially as a little kid. Then one of his more serious girlfriends moved in and lived with him for 5 years. She was like a second mom to me and I really loved her. That didn't work out either and it was kind of like my parents divorcing all over again.

I think single parents should really think hard before getting their kids involved in their relationships. I never met anyone my mom dated until she was dating my stepfather... she knew it was serious and that she wouldn't be confusing my life more.
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:worried:

Wow that's really sad.
I don't think adults think about things that way.
 
Bigdawg1468 said:
Good for you bro, if it goes all the way it can work, and you seem to understand that you will be second to the child.

My step-dad is a great man and knew and accepted his role. Never tried to be my real Dad as I had one. Only time he got in my face was when I disrespected my mother in front of him. And he was right in doing so. I respect that man more then almost anyone on the planet.
Click to expand...

My stepdad is the same way. He always treated me like his own, but never expected to come before my dad. The only time he would really flip out at me is if my mom and I really started fighting. I couldn't have asked for a better stepdad.
 
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