anorexia and my gf

[BigRugbyMan]

Hey girls... I had a question about my gf... She's 18 5"3 105lbs and 10% bf... The problem is that she thinks shes fat and shes gonna get fatter... She works out everyday and all and she keeps calories around 1000cals ed. I give her moral support and assure her she is lean and the most beautiful girl. I think its starting to help... I gave her clen in the past to help her, but she got the shakes and it was kinda scary... And she wants more now, but i dont wanna giver it to her because of the sides... People always tell her she is too skinny... I dont see it like that though. She has very nice muscle defintion, is firm, and has perfect abs. You can see her abs, but her problem is that she thinlks that her stomach isnt flat even though her abs are perfectly ripped. I think i am helping her get over it...I just think she fears that she has to keep up with me and is worried she will get fat. Any advice from you ladies?

LIke how many cals she should be getting a day
Normal bf% etc

 

[JLo]

One question for you - what are some side effects of taking clen ?

About your girlfriend...I can definitely relate to her wanting to match your physical status. My boyfriend gets attention all the time because of his size, and I feel like I should match up. If I don't feel happy with my body, then I feel left out - like him and I don't belong.....it probably sounds silly, I know.

But, as long as she is putting in around 1000 calories - even though that is not a lot - I don't think she is anorexic. Another thing, she IS only 18.... Her body fat % is still going to be pretty low.....lower than a "womans"....usually. But 10% is pretty low in my opinion....

I think the constant reassurance will help a bunch.....

Is she lifting weights or just doing cardio?

 

[JLo]

Well, I didn't mean "get big look" - I was meaning the "fit" look.....ya know...not necessarily bulky.

I just know that I like to look as "athletic" as my boyfriend....well, I try....

 

[hardbdygrl]

uuuum ok,,, please please please do not give her clen,,,,,that is not going to help her situation,,,,if she is heading to anorexia the worst thing u can tell her is that she is toooo skinny,,, that is the gest compliment u can give an anorexic.. Help her with her diet and try to help her see herself as u see her,,, which u already said u do,, so that is a good thing,,, i wouldnt say she is anorexic,, people throw that word around too much....but keep an eye on her

 

[Bikini Mod]

Uuummmm 1000 Calories A DAY?!?!?! That isn't enough to keep A BIRD ALIVE!!!!!.....what does the girl eat? Toast?!

Listen, I don't mean to sound like a bitch here, but what is the matter with those who have read the initial post?

1,000 calories p/day ok for MAINTAINANCE?!....of what? Her little freaking finger?!

I realize that NOT EVERYONE here wants to be HYUGE and ripped to shreds. That is fine. But to suggest that 10% BF is anywhere NEAR ACCEPTABLE bf level for a female OF ANY AGE is INSANE!!!!!!

JESUS H CHRIST!!!!!

I don't care HOW OLD the girl is. Unless she has A VERY FAST METABOLISM (which some people do) - and is eating everything in sight and the girl STILL can not gain weight to suggest that something IS NOT AMISS is well, JUST PLAIN NUTS!

The fact that her boyfriend sez that she is ALWAYS in the gym and THINKS SHE IS FAT AND WILL GET FATTER .....at 5'3" 105# suggests to me that she has a body image disorder.

HOW DO I KNOW?!....Those WERE MY EXACT STATS when I was in the GYM DAILY - CARDIO TO DEATH after as grueling a weight workout as I could muster (on an empty stomach I might add) AND THRILLED THAT CHILDREN'S CLOTHING SIZES WERE OFTEN TOO BIG!!! Yes, I was a grown-up size DOUBLE 00, children's clothing size 10 to 12! Does that make ANY FUCKING SENSE?! What was my caloric intake? If I consumed 1,200 calories I WAS FEASTING! .....it was mostly ice cream though because I was SEVERELY lactose intolerant it would ALL RUN THROUGH ME...And I was perplexed at why I wasn't getting any stronger and why my body wasn't changing.....I was skinny but I would not wear shorts because the backs of my thighs had CELLULITE and were SOFT - EEWWWWWWWW!

DUUUUUUUHHHH!!!! I was starving my body and further tearing down what little muscle mass I had left.

17 - 18% bf for a FEMALE is considered "athletic".

GEEZUS PEOPLE! NOBODY CAN STAY LEAN ALL THE FREAKING TIME! When I bulk, I get up to 20- 22% sometimes and guess what?! I am STILL FUCKING SLAMMING!!!......It only took me like 15 someodd years to be ok with that!

WE ARE NOT MEN.... WE ARE NOT MEANT TO HAVE SINGLE OR NEAR SINGLE DIGIT BF% YEAR ROUND or ACTUALLY, EVER.....It is only for competition - A SINGLE DAY! Then you go back to somewhere closer to NORMAL.

Currently I am about 14%. I try to stay between 12-16% year round. It is fucking difficult and yes, when I have to shoot, I sometimes do things to my body that I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND OTHER DO - WHY?! Because it isn't a "mental thing" - it is a calculated risk that I take to earn money. Does that seem healthy or normal? I don't know, maybe not. But after weeks of heavy cardio and a VERY STRICT DIET I AM HAPPY TO HAVE A LIFE AGAIN. Does is blow chunks a bit to see my 6 pack turn to a 4 pack and watch some of my cuts and vascluarity disappear? YES. But I have pics (which are FOREVER) and I know what I have to do to return to that condition if the need or desire should again arise.

Bottom line: I am happy whether I am lean and mean or soft and round and got booty till next Wednesday.

Dude, have your girl talk to somebody or get her some books. I am not saying that she is anorexic. What I am saying is that she has self-esteem issues and has a body image disorder. Any FEMALE who is in possession of a SIX PACK and thinks that she is FAT or fears getting FAT has something wrong with the way they are viewing themselves.

...just my humble .02

 

[Sassy69]

One of the biggest problems with perception of "skinny" and how you get there is not understanding how the body works. Does she eat well or just water and some toast here and there with salad occassionally? Is she a cardio monster and scared stiff to miss a day?

I would say, have her explain why she thinks she's fat and what she wants to change. If she says she needs to lose weight, then ask her what weight she thinks she should be at and why. If she wants to lose bodyfat, what does she think she should be at and why. Does she understand that not enough food will not make her thin but instead bog down her metabolism? Does she think she has cellulite and the only way to get rid of it is more cardio? Does she work out reasonably -- like not lift the little pink weights a few times and call it a set?

I think her weight is in the reasonable range for her height. I think her body fat is alittle low -- when I was competing my menstrual cycle shut off at 11% bf. That's ok for a month or two. Not for extended periods of time unless she really wants to add osteoporosis as one of her goals in life.

If she can understand what a good diet consists of and what a reasonable number of calories is, what good training & cardio habits are and what are reasonable weight and body fat numbers for her, then I think she will be less fearful of "being fat".

If she doesn't understand these, then I would educate her because she is doing all the cardio, etc. out of "fear". Not good. This is how I spent my first 30 years on this planet. It sucks.

My $0.02...

 

[Bikini Mod]

I'm curious. Why would you have given a woman who is 5'3" weighing 105# at 10%bf clen?

 

[Sassy69]

That's the one drawback about knowing someone who knows all the "tricks" in bb... there's always some drug to help lose weight/build muscle, so that option will be mentioned. Especially if it sounds like its a "magic pill". Also I think a lot of guys don't understand the difference in what they use and how it affects women.

But its still more important to understand the nutrition, health and training issues -- have the correct vocabulary and expectations -- not just "I need to lose weight" or "I dont' want to get fat".

Better to review the diet & training and expectations.

 

[BigRugbyMan]

NO NO... I gave her clen at the beginning of the summer before she was 10%bf. She begged me for DNP, but thats where i stood my ground... And after seeing her on clen i wont give it to her again. She is anorexic because there were times where she wouldnt eat. I have got her to eat a little... She eats very good. She shops at Whole Foods, and gets alot of tofu, soy stuff, and healhy foods. IM really worried about her self image because everyone thinks she is real hot... And i always end up getting to arguments/fights when guys hit on her at parties... I dont see why she thinks of herself like that.And like bikinimom said she does wear aot of kids sizes... She is a kids 12 at abercrombie kids,,,, Thats alot of good information you gave,,,, SHe used to read the boards alot, so i will get her to come back over here and see these posts. Ive got some good info and i will study in some more and decide what we can do for her. BTW she is going to seek professional help as well for her problem... But i think i can help alot more than anyone else as i am the only one she trusts.

 

[Bikini Mod]

BigRugbyman - You are a good and decent man. There are VERY FEW boyfirends who would WANT to realize that their girl has a problem. MANY of my bf's (back in the day) KNEW I was in the bathroom throwing up or wouldn't eat FOR DAYS...but DENIAL is very powerful. They just pretended it wasn't happening. I don't know whether it was because they LIKE how I looked MORE than the who I was insided (in other words, they DIDN'T CARE how I was destroying my body, all they cared about was how I LOOKED) or because they were frightened and didn't have a clue on how to approach my problem. Either way, it doesn't matter now.

What DOES MATTER is that your girl HELP HERSELF. Yes, you can be a wonderful support for her.....but YOU CAN NOT DO IT FOR HER....SHE HAS TO WANT IT FOR HERSELF! Keep giving her positive reinforcement about getting strong and healthy. This helped me TREMENDOUSLY. I had to get away from the starving skeleton-like women who were CONSTANTLY praised and envied by the other women in the gym who themselves has serious body image disorders - they were FAT and out of shape. By surrounding myself with people who encouraged me to be THE BEST that I could be - BOTH EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY - the physical was just an added bonus......I have indeed come a long way. But yes, the struggle sometimes IS STILL THERE. Somehow, I don't think that it will ever COMPLETELY LEAVE.

One thing that you said though hit a bit of a nerve with me. The fact that you guys end up arguing when other guys hit on her....You SHOULD ENJOY the fact that other men find your girl attractive. If she is your girl - then she will want only YOU...REGARDLESS of WHO HITS ON HER - TRUST HER. OK?

My hunny lives nearly 6 HOURS away. I only get to see him maybe twice a month if I am VERY LUCKY. He is 6'4", 240# and DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!......I am 100% secure that he is faithful to me. If he wants to date another woman, then that is fine with me. I know where his heart is...it is with me. Me, I am not ALL THAT, but I am in an industry where I come in contact with MANY men who see me without a lot of clothing on (modeling) and yes, I do get hit on (especially when they hear "single mother"). Sometimes I give my number out, and yes, they do call my cell more than I care for them to. If I want to pass some free time with them, then I will. I have four kids and I work A LOT of hours, have a household to maintain ON MY OWN.....spend my weekends with the hunny when I can - guess how much FREE TIME I HAVE THAT I CARE TO SHARE WITH SOME GUY?!?!?!

BINGO = ZERO.

I would rather spend my FREE TIME Sleeping or Eating - LOL!

Get your girl on here and if there is anything else, email or PM me. I would hate to see a girl so young spend the next fifteen years of her life hating herself and tearing herself down.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT....SUCKS ASS!