Am i an asshole?

[Sebass67]

OK, my brother has put on a lot of weight in the last two years. He is fat to put it bluntly. I have tried helping him out and all but all he gives me are excuses. "I am tired" "I don't want to"...etc...He tries to act like it doesn't bother him but i know it does. He used to make fun of all the fat people... So today i finally got fed up...I remembered that when i was younger like 4 years ago someone finally told me something that was the stick that broke the camels back and than i decided to lose weight. I thought maybe i would be blunt and this would shock him.

So i basically told him "You're fat"...Now i feel kinda bad cause well i prob didn't make him feel too good. I don't want him to feel like shit but it seems like that is what i am making him feel like. All i have been asking him to do is change.

Damn, i feel like crap.

 

[gymtime]

You made the mistake of assuming that what worked for you will work for him. Usually doesn't work that way. He already knows he's fat. If he outright asked you for your opinion, that would be one thing. But you kinda let him have it without cause.

Best thing for you to do now, IMO, is to apologize. And tell him what your real intentions were. He'll understand.

 

[The Terminator]

He'll change when he is ready.....and then you can be there to help him.

 

[Sebass67]

Thanks for your responses guys...I just find it hard to refrain sometimes. It's frustrating...I ain't perfect either. He never does anything active, anything and having an unfit gf doesn't help either. They don't do shit...

Argh...here i go again. He has let himself slip SO much.

 

[Bigsatan13]

You Asshole! He knows he's fat. Next time you see tell him that he looks like shit and makes you want to puke. Then tie him to a table and force feed him canned spaghetti....................Some people just don't get it.

 

[Pamela]

Best thing for you to do now, IMO, is to apologize. And tell him what your real intentions were. He'll understand.

I wouldn't call you that!!
But you probably hurt his feelings.

The best thing you could do for him and to set an example.
Exercise and Healthy eating.. And if he's see your looking
and feeling so good maybe he will follow.


Pamela

 

[Sebass67]

Yeah i know you are right. Thing is i am kinda in a difficult predicament. I would love to rip up...heck i am a big guy. If i cut i would look massive but the thing is i need the weight come football season so i really don't look as good as i would like but i guess those are the sacrifices i make. I'd still say i am flabby.

It's kinda funny though that when i lost a bunch of weight he seemed to put it on. Maybe i should just cut up...

Maybe...than i think he would truelly see the benefits of my work.

Damn. I am torn...

 

[KAYNE]

IF HE WANTS TO BE FAT, FUCK HIM. LET HIM BE FAT. ITS ON HIM, NOT YOU!!!


KAYNE

 

[Arioch]

Why feel bad? At least you were honest.

 

[HumorMe]

Sebass

Wow! Deja Vu!

I had this same thing happened to me and my brother! I kept telling him that I was concerned about his health because like your brother he was always pretty lean and then in like three years he ballooned to 340 lbs. I told him he was going to die if he didn't do anything about his weight problem. It turned out his thyroid had shut down and he was becoming sicker each day. He did go to the doctor and that is when they found his thyroid problem. They put him on medication but things didn't get better. He was depressed about his weight but too tired to do anything about it. He finally started doing something about it when the doctor told him he was a walking timebomb because of his weight. That was in March 2001. He worked real hard to lose some weight and today he weighs 210 lbs. He told me recently he appreciated all of the support I had given him and that his whole life has changed.

The truth hurts but sometimes that is the only thing that will get their attention. If anything he should thank you for waking him up to get with the program. I wouldn't apologize but I would express concern about his health and all the negative side effect that come with being overweight! Diabetes is the main concern and I would point that out! Good luck!

 

[dimitrios]

You made the mistake of assuming that what worked for you will work for him. Usually doesn't work that way. He already knows he's fat. If he outright asked you for your opinion, that would be one thing. But you kinda let him have it without cause.

Best thing for you to do now, IMO, is to apologize. And tell him what your real intentions were. He'll understand.

I agree with you gymtime. That is the best way to handle it