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Ok, here we go... first off - the cover.
It has Brock Lesnar on it. Ok, take a deep breath and on the count of three. 1..... 2...... 3.. WTF? Dude ain't no bodybuilder. Hell, I steal this magazine from the gym to see some jacked up dudes on the cover. He ain't jacked. Big? Yes. But mostly fat and water retention. And that mongloid appearance. I see this cover and the first thing that comes to mind is how Flex laughed and made jokes at IronMan Magazine when they had Steiner on the cover a few years back. At least Steiner LOOKS like a bodybuilder.
moving on along.... 10 (?) no numbers, just before the table of contents. Ok here that dude from the NOW supplement line ads. You know, in the past he was fat and puffy. Looked like he never even worked out, let alone used supplements. I would look at that ad and go "if he looks like that from taking your supps, I am going to skip. No thanks" Ok, new ad here. Same guy. Big time photoshop going on. He got a decent body... but that moon face is a give away. Who is this dude anyway? The fucking egostatical owner?
Next up... first article past the table of contents, it is a scientific analysis of creatine and the increase in..... oh wait. Muscletech ad. Take a look on the next page of Erik Fromm doing the tbar rows in the ad. If that face is not an indication of having a bowel movement that hanging on like a pitbull to your lower intestine, then I don't know what is. I mean, if I made a face that ugly and it was published in a mag, I would never show my face again. >>SKIP<<
Lee Priest up next for Twinlab Ripped Fuel. Now his Before/After pics are AMAZING because you know it is really him. The transformation is purely awesome. His offseason pic has him with a gut sticking out further than his chest. His onseason pic? Mindblowing. this guy got screwed so many times in his placings it ain't funny.
Page 33 - another cell tech ad. This one promotes New Improved Flavor. Whoa, hold on. Wasn't the last formula the "best tasting on the market". Guess it wasn't as good as it could get huh.
Few pages later, another fucking muscletech ad. Man, this is getting to be a habit. Ok, in this one... they actually admit : Sams results not typical. Sam is an extraordinary athlete and has been remunerated for his appearance. At least they didn't lie. In that sentence. They made up for it in the rest of the 4 PAGE AD!! err... I mean Scientic Journal.
Page 52 - Lee Haney and his son Josh. Josh ain't got shit for genes apparently. Even Lee is looking smaller than I recall from seeing him years ago.
Chris Cormier - wondering why he was being placed so low. Hello? Planet Earth to Chris. Cause you looked like shit man. Get real. Train some, actually show up and do the damn contest and not chicken out. Instead of saying you will train with Gary Strydom, just put the E down and get your shit settled. stop whining.
Page 53 Kevin Levrone. Responding to people calling him No-Legs Levrone he promises that he is going to devote a full five months to train this year. Hey Kevin. Ever tried to train year around? Maybe that's why you don't have a Sandow to your credit. I am really impressed. Kevin usually only trains 3 months out of the year. But five months... gosh, what is he thinking?
P.S. Your music sucks. So if you want to make history, get your priorities straight.
Page 66 - Article on Dennis James and back training. Supposingly "new" exercises. Bullshit. Oh and before I go into the "new" exercises he supposingly does I would like to say to Dennis James - Please shut up already about your little gym and how you "hand made" all your equipment. Please. I saw your little video and you know what? Your equipment is the same as any other gym. Metal. Just because you took it out of the box and assembled it, that doesn't mean you "made it from scratch". Hell, the way you carried on about it, I was expecting to see shit made out of wood and duct tape. Second Shup Up Already rant... You can shut up about your 4th place at the Olympia. You didn't beat anyone? Who? Gunter? Like he had a chance. Kevin? Like he was half of his usual self. Rodney St Cloud? Darrem "Campus Model" Charles? Oh just stop already. Had Flex, Cormier, Ray, Ruhl, or Vince Taylor entered the show, you would have been placed behind them. Oh and the exercises are not unique at all. Sitting on box to do cable rows? Using an incline bench? Gee, I should have marketed these and patented them when I "discovered" them back in college. That pic on page 73 is freaky though. I don't mean freaky as in big, I mean freaky as in Adams Family. He sort of look like my friend Niko. And that ain't a good sign. Page 74. Bro, you going bald. Might as well hack the rest of that shit off like the rest of the guys done.
Page 80-81 Marcus Ruhl advertising Nutrex Lipo6. THIS is how he needs to come in and start placing where he is suppose to be. This has to be his best condition EVER.
Page 82 - Brock Lesnar article. Yawn. It reads like Vince McMahon wrote it. Full of hype and trying to sell rasslin as the hottest thing going. On thing though, apparently Chris Lund picked out his clothes to be photo'd in. They are the typical generic uber homo threads that Lund is famous for dressing his guys in. Fucking closet fag making guys wear these Daisy Duke shorts.
Page 94. Article on how to get HARD and RIPPED in 12 weeks. Didn't read it. Hell they were just saying how to add 20 pounds of mass last month. In 12 weeks. Four weeks later they want you to rip up.
Page 119 - Angry Bob. I figured it out now. His name. Angry Bob. If I looked like that, I would be angry too.
Page 160 - Doomsday for Jay. After Dexter whipping him at the O (along with Ronnie) but Jay placing ahead on name recognition. At the Show of Strength, Dexter smoked him. Jay ain't such an "Iron Man" after all. Out massed by Ronnie and out classed by Dexter. Dexter is so sharp it hurts to look at him. Even for me. I am no stranger to low body fat and vascularity, but Dex just flat out killed this show. Page 161, look at Jay from the rear. completely flat back and saggy glutes. with cellulite wrinkles. Dennis James lands lucky number 4 again. (fourth place) Kevin Levrone in third. (still need some legs homes)
Page 182 - backstage photos from the Olympia. Shows that Rodney St Cloud was paired up with Coleman to share a dressing room. (personally I think Mr O should have his own). Anyway, two blondes in there to prep their oil coatings.... Ronnie standing around smiling, looking big as hell and knowing it. Rodney looking everywhere BUT at Coleman. Ronnie looking squarely at Rodney and smirking... already seeing the spot in his back where his footprint was going to be on his march to win number six.
Page 183 - Arnold watching the Mr O on a big screen tv in the back (private office). Now this is a GREAT photo. You have to see it to understand what I am talking about. This is the Arnold you never see. He is sitting on the arm of a couch, watching the tv. There is no one else around. He is not smiling or laughing, just staring at the tv with a slack/flat look on his face. Like he is remembering when he was the one on stage. His name was what everyone was yelling. Or maybe he is looking at Lee Priest and wondering "is this what the sport has come to?" Never the less, he is lost in his own private thoughts.
Page 190, some ol' bullshit about Troy Alves. (who's he?)
Page 206 - Ms. Olympia. Lenda Murray wins. 8th time. Big ass girl. Beautiful lines.
Page 228 - Some kind of Fitness Comp. Big one. I think. Bunch of cunts jumping around trying to ignore their camel toe on display. I skipped this. (What?)
Page 262 - Some girls copying the great Madonna and her lesbian kiss. Please be original. It's old now.
Page 266 - Mr Kenya contest. At first, I thought it was a show that Ropeman (Ty Felder) had hosted. All the trophy winners were black. And if you have ever been to a Ropeman show, you KNOW what I mean by that and how prejudiced he is and will give first place to a non-white. Ain't no laughing matter about that. Every promoter in the South East knows his shows are a joke and travesty to honest competitors. And to make matters worse, not only will he give it to a black guy, but not necessarily the BEST black man. But rather, whichever black man trains at HIS gym and he knows. I hope this doesn't sound racist. At least from my end, just stating the facts.
Page 292 - Article by Lee Haney. Not only did they stick his supplement line ad in the very back of the mag (as usual), but his is the very LAST article in the magazine. It is there past the back pages. Past the classifieds. There is only one page seperating his column from the back of the magazine. Yeah, real classy way to treat the greatest Mr O of all time.
So there you have it. On a scale of 5 stars, I give this a 2. However, as it is well known, Flex is trying to capture the lion's share of the magazine marketing. This issue marks their first attempt on a serious note to take over. They have done this in many ways. They are :
1 - Lowering the mag price to $4.99
2 - No pictures of Curly Top
3 - No pictures of Curly Top
4 - Did I mention, no pictures of Curly Top? His name is not even mentioned anywhere.
5 - Ditto for Tom Prince. Not a drop of ink was wasted on that fat moron.
It has Brock Lesnar on it. Ok, take a deep breath and on the count of three. 1..... 2...... 3.. WTF? Dude ain't no bodybuilder. Hell, I steal this magazine from the gym to see some jacked up dudes on the cover. He ain't jacked. Big? Yes. But mostly fat and water retention. And that mongloid appearance. I see this cover and the first thing that comes to mind is how Flex laughed and made jokes at IronMan Magazine when they had Steiner on the cover a few years back. At least Steiner LOOKS like a bodybuilder.
moving on along.... 10 (?) no numbers, just before the table of contents. Ok here that dude from the NOW supplement line ads. You know, in the past he was fat and puffy. Looked like he never even worked out, let alone used supplements. I would look at that ad and go "if he looks like that from taking your supps, I am going to skip. No thanks" Ok, new ad here. Same guy. Big time photoshop going on. He got a decent body... but that moon face is a give away. Who is this dude anyway? The fucking egostatical owner?
Next up... first article past the table of contents, it is a scientific analysis of creatine and the increase in..... oh wait. Muscletech ad. Take a look on the next page of Erik Fromm doing the tbar rows in the ad. If that face is not an indication of having a bowel movement that hanging on like a pitbull to your lower intestine, then I don't know what is. I mean, if I made a face that ugly and it was published in a mag, I would never show my face again. >>SKIP<<
Lee Priest up next for Twinlab Ripped Fuel. Now his Before/After pics are AMAZING because you know it is really him. The transformation is purely awesome. His offseason pic has him with a gut sticking out further than his chest. His onseason pic? Mindblowing. this guy got screwed so many times in his placings it ain't funny.
Page 33 - another cell tech ad. This one promotes New Improved Flavor. Whoa, hold on. Wasn't the last formula the "best tasting on the market". Guess it wasn't as good as it could get huh.
Few pages later, another fucking muscletech ad. Man, this is getting to be a habit. Ok, in this one... they actually admit : Sams results not typical. Sam is an extraordinary athlete and has been remunerated for his appearance. At least they didn't lie. In that sentence. They made up for it in the rest of the 4 PAGE AD!! err... I mean Scientic Journal.
Page 52 - Lee Haney and his son Josh. Josh ain't got shit for genes apparently. Even Lee is looking smaller than I recall from seeing him years ago.
Chris Cormier - wondering why he was being placed so low. Hello? Planet Earth to Chris. Cause you looked like shit man. Get real. Train some, actually show up and do the damn contest and not chicken out. Instead of saying you will train with Gary Strydom, just put the E down and get your shit settled. stop whining.
Page 53 Kevin Levrone. Responding to people calling him No-Legs Levrone he promises that he is going to devote a full five months to train this year. Hey Kevin. Ever tried to train year around? Maybe that's why you don't have a Sandow to your credit. I am really impressed. Kevin usually only trains 3 months out of the year. But five months... gosh, what is he thinking?
P.S. Your music sucks. So if you want to make history, get your priorities straight.Page 66 - Article on Dennis James and back training. Supposingly "new" exercises. Bullshit. Oh and before I go into the "new" exercises he supposingly does I would like to say to Dennis James - Please shut up already about your little gym and how you "hand made" all your equipment. Please. I saw your little video and you know what? Your equipment is the same as any other gym. Metal. Just because you took it out of the box and assembled it, that doesn't mean you "made it from scratch". Hell, the way you carried on about it, I was expecting to see shit made out of wood and duct tape. Second Shup Up Already rant... You can shut up about your 4th place at the Olympia. You didn't beat anyone? Who? Gunter? Like he had a chance. Kevin? Like he was half of his usual self. Rodney St Cloud? Darrem "Campus Model" Charles? Oh just stop already. Had Flex, Cormier, Ray, Ruhl, or Vince Taylor entered the show, you would have been placed behind them. Oh and the exercises are not unique at all. Sitting on box to do cable rows? Using an incline bench? Gee, I should have marketed these and patented them when I "discovered" them back in college. That pic on page 73 is freaky though. I don't mean freaky as in big, I mean freaky as in Adams Family. He sort of look like my friend Niko. And that ain't a good sign. Page 74. Bro, you going bald. Might as well hack the rest of that shit off like the rest of the guys done.
Page 80-81 Marcus Ruhl advertising Nutrex Lipo6. THIS is how he needs to come in and start placing where he is suppose to be. This has to be his best condition EVER.
Page 82 - Brock Lesnar article. Yawn. It reads like Vince McMahon wrote it. Full of hype and trying to sell rasslin as the hottest thing going. On thing though, apparently Chris Lund picked out his clothes to be photo'd in. They are the typical generic uber homo threads that Lund is famous for dressing his guys in. Fucking closet fag making guys wear these Daisy Duke shorts.
Page 94. Article on how to get HARD and RIPPED in 12 weeks. Didn't read it. Hell they were just saying how to add 20 pounds of mass last month. In 12 weeks. Four weeks later they want you to rip up.
Page 119 - Angry Bob. I figured it out now. His name. Angry Bob. If I looked like that, I would be angry too.
Page 160 - Doomsday for Jay. After Dexter whipping him at the O (along with Ronnie) but Jay placing ahead on name recognition. At the Show of Strength, Dexter smoked him. Jay ain't such an "Iron Man" after all. Out massed by Ronnie and out classed by Dexter. Dexter is so sharp it hurts to look at him. Even for me. I am no stranger to low body fat and vascularity, but Dex just flat out killed this show. Page 161, look at Jay from the rear. completely flat back and saggy glutes. with cellulite wrinkles. Dennis James lands lucky number 4 again. (fourth place) Kevin Levrone in third. (still need some legs homes)
Page 182 - backstage photos from the Olympia. Shows that Rodney St Cloud was paired up with Coleman to share a dressing room. (personally I think Mr O should have his own). Anyway, two blondes in there to prep their oil coatings.... Ronnie standing around smiling, looking big as hell and knowing it. Rodney looking everywhere BUT at Coleman. Ronnie looking squarely at Rodney and smirking... already seeing the spot in his back where his footprint was going to be on his march to win number six.
Page 183 - Arnold watching the Mr O on a big screen tv in the back (private office). Now this is a GREAT photo. You have to see it to understand what I am talking about. This is the Arnold you never see. He is sitting on the arm of a couch, watching the tv. There is no one else around. He is not smiling or laughing, just staring at the tv with a slack/flat look on his face. Like he is remembering when he was the one on stage. His name was what everyone was yelling. Or maybe he is looking at Lee Priest and wondering "is this what the sport has come to?" Never the less, he is lost in his own private thoughts.
Page 190, some ol' bullshit about Troy Alves. (who's he?)
Page 206 - Ms. Olympia. Lenda Murray wins. 8th time. Big ass girl. Beautiful lines.
Page 228 - Some kind of Fitness Comp. Big one. I think. Bunch of cunts jumping around trying to ignore their camel toe on display. I skipped this. (What?)
Page 262 - Some girls copying the great Madonna and her lesbian kiss. Please be original. It's old now.
Page 266 - Mr Kenya contest. At first, I thought it was a show that Ropeman (Ty Felder) had hosted. All the trophy winners were black. And if you have ever been to a Ropeman show, you KNOW what I mean by that and how prejudiced he is and will give first place to a non-white. Ain't no laughing matter about that. Every promoter in the South East knows his shows are a joke and travesty to honest competitors. And to make matters worse, not only will he give it to a black guy, but not necessarily the BEST black man. But rather, whichever black man trains at HIS gym and he knows. I hope this doesn't sound racist. At least from my end, just stating the facts.
Page 292 - Article by Lee Haney. Not only did they stick his supplement line ad in the very back of the mag (as usual), but his is the very LAST article in the magazine. It is there past the back pages. Past the classifieds. There is only one page seperating his column from the back of the magazine. Yeah, real classy way to treat the greatest Mr O of all time.
So there you have it. On a scale of 5 stars, I give this a 2. However, as it is well known, Flex is trying to capture the lion's share of the magazine marketing. This issue marks their first attempt on a serious note to take over. They have done this in many ways. They are :
1 - Lowering the mag price to $4.99
2 - No pictures of Curly Top
3 - No pictures of Curly Top
4 - Did I mention, no pictures of Curly Top? His name is not even mentioned anywhere.
5 - Ditto for Tom Prince. Not a drop of ink was wasted on that fat moron.
