a year ago today

[Carmen]

i got a call that my dad died.
i don't idolize him- he wasn't a great father. in fact, he sucked as a dad.
I didn't know him from the age of 4 to 13- my mom had changed our identities and moved to another coast. He found me with a private investigator.
He was the first person to get me stoned at 13.
When i was 17, he'd let me drive one of his mercedes all over california- as long as i came back before i had to go back to my mom and didn't go back pregnant, it was fine. and if i did- he said he'd take care of it.
at 15, i was flying across the US with bags of weed in my overalls, pretending to be a pregnant teen so i could drop off his stuff with whoever met me at the airport.
At 25, I testified at his trial, but he lost. so right after his twins were born, he got shipped to federal prison.
At 32, I testified for him again- trying to get full custody of his boys. he won that.
He was the only one i could tell anything too. nomatter how bad it was, he'd make me laugh. my friends would say "you told your FATHER???"
but, they didn't know him. he wasn't really my father- he was my best friend.
i miss you bobby.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

i got a call that my dad died.
i don't idolize him- he wasn't a great father. in fact, he sucked as a dad.
I didn't know him from the age of 4 to 13- my mom had changed our identities and moved to another coast. He found me with a private investigator.
He was the first person to get me stoned at 13.
When i was 17, he'd let me drive one of his mercedes all over california- as long as i came back before i had to go back to my mom and didn't go back pregnant, it was fine. and if i did- he said he'd take care of it.
at 15, i was flying across the US with bags of weed in my overalls, pretending to be a pregnant teen so i could drop off his stuff with whoever met me at the airport.
At 25, I testified at his trial, but he lost. so right after his twins were born, he got shipped to federal prison.
At 32, I testified for him again- trying to get full custody of his boys. he won that.
He was the only one i could tell anything too. nomatter how bad it was, he'd make me laugh. my friends would say "you told your FATHER???"
but, they didn't know him. he wasn't really my father- he was my best friend.
i miss you bobby.

I'm sorry, baby

... PM

 

[mountain muscle]

WOW...

I have no lif experience that i can even remotely relate to that. Hope things are going better for you these days SP. Sounds like you need a sounding board more than sympathy. That is what pms are for girl.

 

[Carmen]

WOW...

I have no lif experience that i can even remotely relate to that. Hope things are going better for you these days SP. Sounds like you need a sounding board more than sympathy. That is what pms are for girl.

well i felt like sharing my misery.
thanks MM. i'm lucky i have some good friends.

 

[Kroliczek]

well i felt like sharing my misery.
thanks MM. i'm lucky i have some good friends.

We are never dealt anything in life that we cannot handle...you are strong.

Chin up!

 

[RADAR]

wow! Sugarplum that stinks! What a life story!



RADAR

 

[ChefWide]

His love rubbed off on you well, G.

It shows in everything you do. It radiates from you.

I'm glad you're here.

 

[Smurfy]

Wow Sugar, thats quite a story. Youre a strong woman inside and out!

 

[Carmen]

thanks guys. you're all really sweet and i'm lucky i "know" you.

 

[EnderJE]

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that, but glad to hear that you had a decent relationship with your Dad. I know lots of people who can't even talk to their parents nowadays for fuckups in the prior years.

Now, I miss my Dad....

 

[Carmen]

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that, but glad to hear that you had a decent relationship with your Dad. I know lots of people who can't even talk to their parents nowadays for fuckups in the prior years.

Now, I miss my Dad....

well, my dad wasn't talking to me when he died. for a few months actually. i had gotten on his case to get a real job and to give his twins a standard type of life with a real bedtime and rules. i wanted him to remember my kids names and maybe my birthday once in a while. When i came to him about a month before he died i said i wanted him to be my father and he told me to grow up. i was pretty sure i had and that it was him who needed to do that.
he'd still tell me about the women he was dating- always way younger than him. he'd ask me about my life- no topic was unaproachable.
he was a sculptor, a drug smuggler, a playboy, a nudist, an improvisational actor, and he had the highest IQ of anyone i've ever known.
he was writing a book when he died- about his life and the activities that preceeded the government catching up to him, but he never finished it. I'm saving for my half brothers- they are in a group foster home.

ok, i'm not gonna think about it anymore today. i hate feeling sad.

 

[EnderJE]

Why don't you take in your brothers?

 

[Dial_tone]

Thanks for sharing that with us.

 

[wnt2bBeast]

sorry babe,
dont hesitate if you need to talk to someone...

 

[wootoom]

that still sucks Plum. sorry to hear about that.

 

[The_Ghost]

Looks like you ahve been through a lot, it also looks like you have grown into quite a person because of it.

sorry for your loss!

 

[hardrock]

You've had quite the life. Gotta be strong after all that.

 

[Carmen]

Why don't you take in your brothers?

oh yeah, sure. what's two more kids?


I have to work. and i have two kids- my daughter is 8 and a son who just turned 13- exactly one year younger than my brothers.
I happen to not have an extra bedroom or extra money to fed them- they eat a LOT. One brother is autistic. He might also be schizophrenic- they aren't sure. he's sweet as anything, but if you touch him the wrong way, he'll crawl under his bed or climb a tree and stay there for hours, cursing, and calling himself a "fucking jew bastard" cause thats what he mom used to call him before they were removed from her.
my other brother stays up all night. he will NOT listen to authority. He also told me if he ever sees his mother, he's going to stab her to death for what she did to them.
honestly, she deserves it, but do i want those two living with my 8 year old daughter?
I only met them once in my life after my dad died- they were strangers to me before that. i love them but i couldn't do it.

 

[Carmen]

sorry babe,
dont hesitate if you need to talk to someone...

I know... thank you.

 

[SoreArms]

got any of that stash left?

 

[Carmen]

got any of that stash left?

grrr. not much and at my age- everyone i know is on the pta, not exactly the smoking type. i wouldn't know where to get any anymore.
the government seized my dads house when he went to prison, and everything in it. and everything in the huge storage facility on his property in santa cruz (california). and the tractor trailer. and the runner boats. you get the idea.
he was no angel when he got out, but his friend who was living with him and continued to take care of his boys for a few months probably took whatever was there. either for his own use, or to support them.

 

[SoreArms]

grrr. not much and at my age- everyone i know is on the pta, not exactly the smoking type. i wouldn't know where to get any anymore.
the government seized my dads house when he went to prison, and everything in it. and everything in the huge storage facility on his property in santa cruz (california). and the tractor trailer. and the runner boats. you get the idea.
he was no angel when he got out, but his friend who was living with him and continued to take care of his boys for a few months probably took whatever was there. either for his own use, or to support them.

sorry, I hope I didn't pick at sore spot

 

[Carmen]

sorry, I hope I didn't pick at sore spot

no, its ok. i wouldn't mind HAVING some, but i wouldn't know where to get it now.

 

[SoreArms]

no, its ok. i wouldn't mind HAVING some, but i wouldn't know where to get it now.

come by, we'll take a drive up the coast while we toke.

 

[Carmen]

come by, we'll take a drive up the coast while we toke.

by "coast" do you mean the western one?
i've driven along that coast, high and my friend drunk behind the wheel of a sporty convertable on the way to monterey for lunch.
what a stupid thing that could have turned into.

just mail it to me.