A Wodin Rant.

[WODIN]

THERE IS A GOD!

Proof.

Lance Bass got booted from the Russian flight plan so there is your proof. Paper work my ass! The little faggot spent all his money on blond hilighter and now can't come up with the 20 mil. Boo hoo!

Why or why?

There exist a group of families that get together once a month or so across the street from me and the all have yard apes. I have nothing against any of that. I love parties, I love yard apes. I even enjoy the music. But at 10:00 at night when people are trying to sleep.

I went over and talked to the mother fuckers last night Telling them to get their kids under control or I would call the police..etc... I had enough and well I wasn't about to let my wife have all the fun in bitching at these ass whipes since this was like the 4th week in a row of this shit.

My wife has some lungs!

Where do women get that vocal quality that makes a man want to rip his ears off? Anyone?

Anyway...No one wanted any "of this." That's right ya heard me! LOL!! I think I scared the shit out of them big time except for one guy who walked home.

Woke me up at 12:30 am yelling outside my house with three of his boys. You know the kind that say dude all the time and shit. The went walking on.

They came back by at 1:00 or so and I was sitting outside with my little friend. The guy didn't notice me at first and started to yell shit. I stood up and pointed my lazer pointer at his forhead. He shut the fuck up quick.

I told him not to move. Not to even fucking breath. He pissed his pants. I told him...get the fuck out of here and don't come back..yada..yada... My wife was like what did you do.

I told here.. shit laughed...I got sex. Woo Hoo!!!

Lazer pointers rule!

 

[WODIN]

OH and I got an email today titled

"I have fucked by elephant." Does this really appeal to anyone?

 

[havoc]

Good rant!

 

[beefybull]

Hilarious story, W.

 

[GinNJuice]

What's a "yard ape"

 

[WODIN]

yard apes are little kids under the age of 6.

 

[BodhiDharma]

lol

 

[beastboy]

The laser incident is hilarious!

 

[naturally anabolic]

wodin, is that the latest spam circulating the net? "i have fucked by elephant"? i get a ton of that shit and it would be one thing if i signed up for it but noooooo im not cool enough for that.

 

[velvett]

My wife has some lungs!

Where do women get that vocal quality that makes a man want to rip his ears off? Anyone

it's true.... most women have this ability.


It's about the pitch crossed with the volume.
Can shatter nearly any man.

 

[WODIN]

NA - You and I are in the same spam hell.

Velvett - My daughter also has this ability and she is only 17 months old! Jebus....

 

[HappyScrappy]

yard apes sounds racist.
I was trying to figure out what race or stereotype that the term must represent, but I couldn't figure it out.
then again, I'm never that good at figuring out what those things mean.

if this ever happens once I get a house, they will be in for a surprise - I'm gonna have miles of C4 spiraled throughout the neighborhood and all hooked up to a control center in my bedroom.
loud noise? not a problem.

 

[WODIN]

IF they are indoors - they are rug rats.
IF they are outdoors - they are yard apes.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I was dicussing with my gf the plan of action for when the day comes that I have kids.
I have decided that there are only two things that are certain.
1) the children's first names will be left up to the mother, but the middle names will be either Mustard or Mayonaise

2) early on, I will decide which one I like better, and I will make it clearly known. the one I like better will get the best schooling, and new clothes. It will get the best toys and showered with love and attention. The other one will basically be left to fend for itself in public schools and my house. There will be food available, but I'm not going to waste my time spoon feeding it.

the catch is that my love will not be unconditional - at any moment they could do something to displease me and I will switch which child is my favorite.

I will write a book and when they are 18, I will unleash the children onto the world.

rug rats, yard apes, whatever. they are mine.

 

[WODIN]

Your kids are going to be seriously fucked up...sort of like the Mennedez brothers who shot their parents back in the mid 80's.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Re: Re: A Wodin Rant.

it's true.... most women have this ability.


It's about the pitch crossed with the volume.
Can shatter nearly any man.

Yet a woman's own children are oblivious to it. Go figure.



That is when I find that a pinch will greatly improve thier hearing impairment.

 

[kronk]

I told here.. shit laughed...I got sex. Woo Hoo!!!

Ahhh, is there anything sweeter then reward sex. lmao.

Great rant Wodin.

 

[Lestat]

Wodin thread? Sweet!

 

[WODIN]

Kronk...nothing unless you get honey with the reward sex.

Kini - my kids are already igging me.

Lestat - I thought we had a deal on this? Cornholio threads only..remember.... don't make me lock you down.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Kini - my kids are already igging me.

Then all is right in the world!

tee-hee

 

[Y_lifter]

At our first house, we has issues with teens cruising our hood.

I rigged a Blue and a Red emergency light in the back yard on a pole so that from the front yard it looked like it was coming from the next street.

Whenever they started hanging out in front of the house, all I had to do was flip on these and they went a scrambling...

 

[Lestat]

Wodin:

Oh yeah, ok Cornholio only... sorry.. Wodin threads are a hard habit to give up.

 

[HappyScrappy]

my left hand smells like fish.
I didn't even have fish for lunch today.

 

[knight69]

good going wodin!!!!!!!!!

 

[gymrat]

yard ape, never heard that one before.

 

[Temple]

OH God!!!!!
I love the laser pointer part!!!!!
Heck, if I would have been there I would have given you reward sex for that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[madbomber31]

did anyone else picture the mean old man from when you were a kid??? walking up with his cane calling everyone around him a whippersnapper....