A Vent

[mydawgs]

Sorry folks but I am on edge as it is and I am facing a crappy situation tomorrow. I posted here even if it is not a fitness focus because I want male feed back as well. I am so serious when I train, I have limited time and stuff to get done so I really have a serious focus. For years I have trained in the same gym as this man, short, skinny legs, beer gut (50+)and what I can only explain as circus mirrors in his home....cuz he must see Brad Pitt when he looks in them. Any woman that even looks at him he is up in their space, tryin to put his hands on them...asking the painfully obvious questions to get closer into her personal space. It makes me want to vomit especially when he targets a 16 - 17 yr old girl who often is overwhelmed by his aggression. After he does his nonsense he walks around touching his fist to all his pathetic minions and proceeds to make obscene comments about the woman he has just encountered. Ok he don't mess with me as I'm sure you all have guessed...he knows Id break both his stick legs.

Tomorrow my beautiful 18 yr old daughter will be opening the gym, as I got her a job there. I just know what is going to happen when he comes in and I'm afraid he might be taken to the ER with a 50lb DB inserted in a very uncomfortable place. Now I know she can handle him...but I am just amazed he does not think when he degrades a woman that she is someones daughter, or sister, or wife or GF...or mother.

It really is not my place to say anything...and I sure as hell am not going to say anything to her daddy (big ass dude from Georgia)....but what could I do that is appropriate, I don't even want him breathing the same air as her!!!!

It would be different if it were a young guy trying to meet her...that is normal and healthy..but a 50 year old, married pervert...DANG!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...sorry if it is in the wrong place, any suggestions would be appreciated, even if it is to mind my own business!

 

[Bikini Mod]

As mother to four daughters you would THINK my advice would be to kick his ass just for the hell of it. But I learned a lesson about such things many, MANY year ago... a woman has to learn how to fend off such assholes by herself.

Momma - what happens when you intervene and take care of THIS ASSHOLE? Will that help your daughter be better prepared for all of the other assholes who will be inappropriately up in her shit for the rest of her natural life?

NO...

Talk to your daughter and warn her. Tell her that if she doesn't learn how to handle dipshit scum-sucking low-life pieces of shit NOW - she will have a long hard road ahead.

THE FIRST TIME you have to put one of these loud-mouthed, over-bearing pussies into their place, ESPECIALLY in public you might find it hard (dear daughter) but trust me when I tell you that after that - not only does it get easier... but it actually become FUNNY!

These guys get off on pushing others around, especially women who they percieve as being powerless.

She need only look him in the face and say something to the effect of .... ME be interested ... IN YOU?!?!?!? then have her bust out giggling... and excuse herself to the ladies room or some such. Or she can just stand there and continue to laugh in his face.

I guarantee you - he will NEVER harrass her or ANY OTHER WOMAN IN THE GYM EVER EVER AGAIN!!!

 

[pappad]

I agree with BM with the addition, you let the guy know that he has no buisiness even talking to my daughter!!!!

 

[Tatyana]

We have one of those in my gym.

He makes me ill, and he has had about three 'buy a bride' that he has routinely paraded in the gym over the last ten years I have been there.

I quite like the woman he is with now, I feel very sorry for her though.

I figure honesty is the best policy, and while it is not a 'nice' thing to do, if your daughter asks if she can be completely honest with him, she would prefer not to speak with him about anything that is not related to the gym and (maybe) tell his she thinks he is creepy.

The last bit may be a bit too much, it might be what I tell my creepy chap if he approaches me again.

Otherwise, ignoring them can take AGES as some men just don't pick up on that.

 

[localgirl]

I think theres one of those guys at everyone's gym

We got some old dude @ ours who's like 4 feet f*ck all, walks around with his gold chains actin' tough. I was rippin' up my cardio one night & he sat on the bike beside me & reached out, touched my arm, moving down my ipod & inquired about my tat.

I didnt know what to do. I wanted to snap, lol. But I looked @ him, told him none of your business & cranked my tunes. It totally creeped me out. The upside of things, I started working out w/ my man shortly after that, hes built like a house, keeps the lil creepers in check ;P

 

[GUARDIAN]

it is totally unacceptable behavior and it has no place in a gym. in all my years lifting i have never noticed anything like that and if i did i would say something to him and the gym management. any decent gym would take immediate action. even if he were brad pitt it still wouldnt make it ok.

warn your daughter, your training partner, and anyone you talk to at the gym. get as many people to complain about him as possible.

 

[vixensghost]

I train at a very small hard core gym. We all are like "family". IF new guys join and start ANY crap with the few women there, he's put on notice reeeeeal fast by all the guys. It's nice to have big and little brother's watching out for you!

However, there are those few "types" like you mentioned above, who need their asses kicked IF they don't wise up when the guys talk to 'em. I'd have my pals keep an eye on your daughter for you---I'M 200% certain your pals will keep this jackass in check for you!

I got a sassy mouth and a mean streak a mile wide--- but that only gets you so far with true jerks in this world. I hope your pals rally 'round her for you.

 

[chazk]

When he approaches you're duaghter and starts his talk . When he mentions lifts or anything about wanting to go out, make sure you're duaghter drops the line.
" OH my boyfriend does that also "
Or
" I'll have to see if my boyfriend wants to go there "
and try this one
" oh thats not alot of weight You should be lifting alot more then that"
That will prob get his goose

make sure almost every other word out of you're duaghters mouth is about her boyfriend ( even if she does not have one )

When he starts talking about stuff he liks to do , make sure you're duaghter says " oh I hate doing that , Or I went there and did not like it "

make sure she pushes the point she has boyfriend and that they ( the creep ) have nothing in common.


I fucking hate guys like that , I rarley take off my Ipod and talk to anyone just for that reason. If a girl is interested in you she will let you know , she will come into you're space play with the hair ,scratch the inner thigh, look at you up and down and all the usual stuff. Obviously this guy have no clue that girls prob think he is a douch, he needs a good bitch slap and to be sent back to the fucking ymca

 

[bw1]

Set his ass straight, right from the start with her. Pull him aside and lay it on the line. Sounds like a pussy that will wet himself when give him "the facts"

 

[Thandie]

I'm sorry, mydawgs you have to go through that type of stress. However, I think every gym has one of those guys.
I'd warn your daughter about the guy and if you see him talking to her, warn him to stay away from her and talk to management about it. You'll be sparing lots of women there.
Sorry, but "my boyfriend thing" will not work since this type of guys are not looking for a girlfriend. He could care less if any of these women are committed. They just want to prove themselves.

 

[chazk]

I'm sorry, mydawgs you have to go through that type of stress. However, I think every gym has one of those guys.
I'd warn your daughter about the guy and if you see him talking to her, warn him to stay away from her and talk to management about it. You'll be sparing lots of women there.
Sorry, but "my boyfriend thing" will not work since this type of guys are not looking for a girlfriend. He could care less if any of these women are committed. They just want to prove themselves.

What if she said " my boyfriend has a giant 11 in cock and i wont fuck anything uder 10 inches "
LOL I think he would prob hang his head in shame and walk away

 

[Thandie]

What if she said " my boyfriend has a giant 11 in cock and i wont fuck anything uder 10 inches "
LOL I think he would prob hang his head in shame and walk away

Nope! most likely he can't do anything. He's just making a story in his head that he's some kind of stud or at least he wants to belive that. Is not about how big, strong, good looking. He has a distorted idea of himself. He's probably been rejected as a kid and is trying to prove he's good. Plain and simple, a loser!
I wouldn't be too worry, but I understand where Mydawgs is coming from. However, her daughter needs to be strong with him. That she's not interested in carrying a conversation with him. That she's too buy for that. Is like the perverts who make obsene calls. The more you say LEAVE ME ALONE, the more they call. If you say, 'oh please don't waste my time' they go away.

 

[eddymerckx]

his minions are just as bad as he is.

 

[dirty~d~]

Every gym has one, at least. It's just the nature of the industry, as annoying as it is. Simply instill in her that it's OK to stand up for herself verbally or physically, if she feels threatened in anyway. NO ONE has a right to touch ANYONE, regardless of the environment or intent. He needs to learn his boundaries... painfully if necessary. Clearly the guy would be no big loss to the gym so getting management involved would be a good thing, as long as it's handled professionally. Sometimes guys like this can become worse if provoked with a blast to their pride.

Feel free to vent in here anytime, chica.

 

[mydawgs]

Well my instincts were right, he came in and did a rubber neck. He walked up to her a leaned over the counter and said "I forgot my key pass, do you want my number?"

I am proud to announce she handled herself with pride, strength and conviction and replied, "No I'm pretty sure I have your number, you go ahead on in!" He stood there for a moment and then joined all his little cronies which all had a good laugh at his expense, and then I walked over with two of my huge buddies and asked if there was a problem....he said no and scurried off like the cockroach he is.

It's not then end, but it was a good first strike.

Thank all of you for your much treasured advice and support, being a mom is hard sometimes, but it gives me a lot of strength to know the fitness community is at large just friggin fantastic people like you folks here at EF!!!!!

 

[Tatyana]

LOL! Classic reply

Clever young woman, I am impressed.

 

[dirty~d~]

LOL! Classic reply

Clever young woman, I am impressed.

+1