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natural-mike
New member
Ok people, this is a bit lengthy, but I promise a good read, you'll laugh, you'll cry, its fun for the whole family. I'm also available for weddings and Bar Mitzvah's too.
Many of you may have read I purchased my first pair of INZER HD Groove Brief's, ha d afew returns / exchanegs until I got what I believe is the right size. According to Powerlifterjay, if your testicles are not purple afterwards then they are too big.
First some quick info about me, I Westsided for a while until I got extremely inflamed bicep tendons mostly from squatting. My liver forced me to take a 3 month break from all lifting as a steady diet of VIOXX, Motrin and Alleve if you could believe is NOT what every growing boy needs" Any point being I now do a standard periodization routine like an Ed Coan jammy and I am slowly working at buildign back up my poundages (I do not compete) well not yet anyways but I have an old football hip injury which well hurts liek hell when squatting.
OK enough wasted time
After my lay-off I joined the local "Chrome and Curl" (blatantly stolen quote from someone on this board) just so my wife can have a spotter for her Jane Fonda workout. Anyway, the local joint has your typical gel in the hair, jeans and wife beater tank tops wearing kids who work out with cell phones in hand and gold chains around their neck rather than the Westside style of 5/8 chains around the bar. This is basically Lou simmons version of hell. They do not understand powerifting and are not aware other muscles exist besides the biceps and that cute little Hammer Strength wrist curl machine. I like the place because the squat racks are always free of course they have NO POWER-RACKS (again- see Lou Simmons version of Hell above)
OK here goes.
Yesterday was my periodized Squat workout and I was goingt o use my INZER HD Groove briefs for the first time. I baby powdered up and spent a good 10 minutes getting them on. Then I put ( well my wife did, I couldnt bend) I put joggin pants over them, I had to hide them, my local Chrome and Curl wouldnt comprehend these things so I couldnt show them, they are tight as hell and I dont want anyone getting the wrong idea. So I planned to workout with them under my joggin pants.
Next I go thru my usual routine of applying Capsicain (hot pepper cream linament) to my biceps tendons and shoulder. Now this stuff gets hot, I mean 5 minutes after you put it on you are "cooking with Emeril" we are talking "BAM another notch". Anyway in a fit of extreme discomfort fromt eh HD Groove briefs, I forget to wash my hands so I have Capsicain residue on them, but I forgot.
I throw on my Chuck Taylor's and start my 8 block walk to the gym. Walking with tight ass Groove Briefs is an experience. Lets just say luckily I didnt have to walk thru a GAY neighborhood (not that there's anything wrong with that) I was walking like I had a WELCOME matt on my ass and I just came from a GAY Pride march.
OK half way at the gym, I realized I have lost sensation in my testicles so I promptly stick my hand down my Groove Briefs and adjust (women you just wouldnt understand the adjustment thing) I then walk another block and suddenly I realize "Hey Mike....your penis is on fire" You see folks if you paid attention the Capsicain pepper cream linament rubbed off on my twig and berries, thats right, capsicain right on the "mummy daddy button".
I have 4 blocks to go to the gym, I try to speed up , but folks no matter how hard you try you just cant run in super tight Groove Briefs, (someone confirm this please)
I arrive at the gym and my "package is now burning with fire of a thousand suns" I run to the locker room which is packed with a fair share of steroidal freaks (the few that exist at my gym) and I cannot start pulling down my pants and let these people see these odd looking super tight "girdle" looking briefs, besides the struggle of trying to pull them off could easily result in my body thrashing about and perhaps having my "frank and beans" land on one of those steroidal worlds strongest man competitors that was occupying the locker room.
OK I'm in a jam, and I could now sear I smell BBQ meat, which in fact may have been my little pickle. I make a mad dash to the bathroom. Soak my towel in cold water then sit in the stahl rip those briefs off and wrapped my "Johnson" in the cold towel for 20 minutes.
So far my experience with the HD Groove briefs is not a plus. I thought about sending a letter to Mr. john Inzer explaining that due to the tightness of his product I now have sizzled purple testes. But I opted not to.
To close on a positive note. I finally got to squat with the Briefs and I have to swear by them, they really eliminated my hip pain and kept me in a great and powerful groove allowing me to really spread wide. When I took them off I had an attractive series of strawberry blood clots circling my thighs all around.
So remember this:
This is your testes OO this is your testes on Groove Briefs oo
Any questions?
And oh yeah, remember to wash your hands.
Sorry to bore the $hit out of you guys, guess you had to be there.
Peace,
Nat Mike
Many of you may have read I purchased my first pair of INZER HD Groove Brief's, ha d afew returns / exchanegs until I got what I believe is the right size. According to Powerlifterjay, if your testicles are not purple afterwards then they are too big.
First some quick info about me, I Westsided for a while until I got extremely inflamed bicep tendons mostly from squatting. My liver forced me to take a 3 month break from all lifting as a steady diet of VIOXX, Motrin and Alleve if you could believe is NOT what every growing boy needs" Any point being I now do a standard periodization routine like an Ed Coan jammy and I am slowly working at buildign back up my poundages (I do not compete) well not yet anyways but I have an old football hip injury which well hurts liek hell when squatting.
OK enough wasted time
After my lay-off I joined the local "Chrome and Curl" (blatantly stolen quote from someone on this board) just so my wife can have a spotter for her Jane Fonda workout. Anyway, the local joint has your typical gel in the hair, jeans and wife beater tank tops wearing kids who work out with cell phones in hand and gold chains around their neck rather than the Westside style of 5/8 chains around the bar. This is basically Lou simmons version of hell. They do not understand powerifting and are not aware other muscles exist besides the biceps and that cute little Hammer Strength wrist curl machine. I like the place because the squat racks are always free of course they have NO POWER-RACKS (again- see Lou Simmons version of Hell above)
OK here goes.
Yesterday was my periodized Squat workout and I was goingt o use my INZER HD Groove briefs for the first time. I baby powdered up and spent a good 10 minutes getting them on. Then I put ( well my wife did, I couldnt bend) I put joggin pants over them, I had to hide them, my local Chrome and Curl wouldnt comprehend these things so I couldnt show them, they are tight as hell and I dont want anyone getting the wrong idea. So I planned to workout with them under my joggin pants.
Next I go thru my usual routine of applying Capsicain (hot pepper cream linament) to my biceps tendons and shoulder. Now this stuff gets hot, I mean 5 minutes after you put it on you are "cooking with Emeril" we are talking "BAM another notch". Anyway in a fit of extreme discomfort fromt eh HD Groove briefs, I forget to wash my hands so I have Capsicain residue on them, but I forgot.
I throw on my Chuck Taylor's and start my 8 block walk to the gym. Walking with tight ass Groove Briefs is an experience. Lets just say luckily I didnt have to walk thru a GAY neighborhood (not that there's anything wrong with that) I was walking like I had a WELCOME matt on my ass and I just came from a GAY Pride march.
OK half way at the gym, I realized I have lost sensation in my testicles so I promptly stick my hand down my Groove Briefs and adjust (women you just wouldnt understand the adjustment thing) I then walk another block and suddenly I realize "Hey Mike....your penis is on fire" You see folks if you paid attention the Capsicain pepper cream linament rubbed off on my twig and berries, thats right, capsicain right on the "mummy daddy button".
I have 4 blocks to go to the gym, I try to speed up , but folks no matter how hard you try you just cant run in super tight Groove Briefs, (someone confirm this please)
I arrive at the gym and my "package is now burning with fire of a thousand suns" I run to the locker room which is packed with a fair share of steroidal freaks (the few that exist at my gym) and I cannot start pulling down my pants and let these people see these odd looking super tight "girdle" looking briefs, besides the struggle of trying to pull them off could easily result in my body thrashing about and perhaps having my "frank and beans" land on one of those steroidal worlds strongest man competitors that was occupying the locker room.
OK I'm in a jam, and I could now sear I smell BBQ meat, which in fact may have been my little pickle. I make a mad dash to the bathroom. Soak my towel in cold water then sit in the stahl rip those briefs off and wrapped my "Johnson" in the cold towel for 20 minutes.
So far my experience with the HD Groove briefs is not a plus. I thought about sending a letter to Mr. john Inzer explaining that due to the tightness of his product I now have sizzled purple testes. But I opted not to.
To close on a positive note. I finally got to squat with the Briefs and I have to swear by them, they really eliminated my hip pain and kept me in a great and powerful groove allowing me to really spread wide. When I took them off I had an attractive series of strawberry blood clots circling my thighs all around.
So remember this:
This is your testes OO this is your testes on Groove Briefs oo
Any questions?
And oh yeah, remember to wash your hands.
Sorry to bore the $hit out of you guys, guess you had to be there.
Peace,
Nat Mike
