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jd_uk
New member
While looking through my karma history i found this post and thought it's time it got re-posted.
Written by Matt Lazzara
I don't think a lot of people sit around and contemplate their lives. I mean,
people think about their futures and what they're going to do, and what they
should have done in order to achieve something, but I don't think anyone
contemplates their present. What they're doing right now. Everyone's heard of
living in the moment or whatever, but I think very few people act on it.
Myself
included and that's something that I regret immensely. Life is a finite
thing.
Obviously, everyone's life is going to end, but mine has a time limit. No
surprises for me, and depressingly enough, that time limit is going to run
out
rather soon. I've never really told anyone how long I have left, or what
exactly
(in great detail) is wrong with me, because I would rather my friends viewed
me as
a vital, volaile, rather silly human beings, but at age 21, most people don't
understand or know how to contemplate the thought that someone you know, they
would abandon me for more secure, lasting relationships. So everyday, every
minute is vital to me, the most mundane things are breaths of fresh air.
The things that most people take for granted but shouldn't - a kiss, a
pudding
fight, a good long walk or an intriguing conversation - are now intensely
important to me, and I think they should be important to everyone. The fact
that I
know I won't be able to experience these things makes them achingly more
important
to me, and they make me desparate to achieve them one more time. I want to
close
my eyes and kiss a girl one more time; the kind of kiss that makes you feel
like
you're floating, the kind where you forget to do something with your hands
because
it's so good. I want to go camping, and lay in the grass and think how
naively
beautiful the day is. I want to shoot off fireworks and run away when the
cops
pull up. I want someone to hold my hand and tell me something nice about
myself. I
want to be able to read the paper and deride George W. to someone, and have
them
hate that asshole with me. I want to sit on a stoop late into the night,
drinking
shitty beer and telling stories. I want to feel alive, and not dead or dying,
and
think that those things - the most trivial and passing connections to the
world
and people in it - are violently important.
So this is my contribution to you. I'm desperately telling you - all of you-
to
take advantage of your youth and vitality. I hear too many people talking
about
college and getting shitty jobs afterward. I hear too many people talking
about
work and how this and that sucks. Fuck, we're all wasting our lives doing
things
that disconnect us from everyone else! You don't need a four or five year
plan,
and you sure as hell don't need to worry about feeling innocent and immature
again. Worry about making everyday something to talk about, and not just
another
blank page in your life. I used to act like you. I had a plan. I had a
future,
and all that blew away, but right now, I barely have a present, and that's
how
I've realizewd the error of our ways. Please, please, don't get old and die,
and
die of cancer, and realize you did nothing with your life but make plans that
never happened. Don't miss opportunities anymore. If you like someone, tell
them,
if you think the time is right to kiss someone, do it. If you feel like
you're in
a rut, don something to stupid and silly and fun. If you feel the world is
ugly,
make something beautiful. Stop being so cautious, some movie line said : if
you
take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.
Trust me, as much as life sucks sometimes, and wow, do I know it sucks, it is
still the only thing we know. It is the only thing that matters, and it's
wonderful. Life is a beautiful, ridiculous, tragic disaster, but it's the
only
thing we have. So don't let it lie by the wayside in pursuit of crap that's
barely
important. People are the most important resource, and so are the
relationships we
build with them. I feel the pinch of that more than ever now. If we could
spend
400 billion dollars to cure cancer instead of building and maintaining
weapons, I
wouldn't have to write this. So this is, essentially, a plea. This is the
most
personal thing I've ever written, and I hope it reaches more people than I
ever
could. Don't forget this is the only life you have, make something
worthwhile out
of it, and no one who you've laughed, cried, kissed, and bled with will ever
forget you.
- Matthew D, Lazzara April 2, 1982 - February 15, 2004
Written by Matt Lazzara
I don't think a lot of people sit around and contemplate their lives. I mean,
people think about their futures and what they're going to do, and what they
should have done in order to achieve something, but I don't think anyone
contemplates their present. What they're doing right now. Everyone's heard of
living in the moment or whatever, but I think very few people act on it.
Myself
included and that's something that I regret immensely. Life is a finite
thing.
Obviously, everyone's life is going to end, but mine has a time limit. No
surprises for me, and depressingly enough, that time limit is going to run
out
rather soon. I've never really told anyone how long I have left, or what
exactly
(in great detail) is wrong with me, because I would rather my friends viewed
me as
a vital, volaile, rather silly human beings, but at age 21, most people don't
understand or know how to contemplate the thought that someone you know, they
would abandon me for more secure, lasting relationships. So everyday, every
minute is vital to me, the most mundane things are breaths of fresh air.
The things that most people take for granted but shouldn't - a kiss, a
pudding
fight, a good long walk or an intriguing conversation - are now intensely
important to me, and I think they should be important to everyone. The fact
that I
know I won't be able to experience these things makes them achingly more
important
to me, and they make me desparate to achieve them one more time. I want to
close
my eyes and kiss a girl one more time; the kind of kiss that makes you feel
like
you're floating, the kind where you forget to do something with your hands
because
it's so good. I want to go camping, and lay in the grass and think how
naively
beautiful the day is. I want to shoot off fireworks and run away when the
cops
pull up. I want someone to hold my hand and tell me something nice about
myself. I
want to be able to read the paper and deride George W. to someone, and have
them
hate that asshole with me. I want to sit on a stoop late into the night,
drinking
shitty beer and telling stories. I want to feel alive, and not dead or dying,
and
think that those things - the most trivial and passing connections to the
world
and people in it - are violently important.
So this is my contribution to you. I'm desperately telling you - all of you-
to
take advantage of your youth and vitality. I hear too many people talking
about
college and getting shitty jobs afterward. I hear too many people talking
about
work and how this and that sucks. Fuck, we're all wasting our lives doing
things
that disconnect us from everyone else! You don't need a four or five year
plan,
and you sure as hell don't need to worry about feeling innocent and immature
again. Worry about making everyday something to talk about, and not just
another
blank page in your life. I used to act like you. I had a plan. I had a
future,
and all that blew away, but right now, I barely have a present, and that's
how
I've realizewd the error of our ways. Please, please, don't get old and die,
and
die of cancer, and realize you did nothing with your life but make plans that
never happened. Don't miss opportunities anymore. If you like someone, tell
them,
if you think the time is right to kiss someone, do it. If you feel like
you're in
a rut, don something to stupid and silly and fun. If you feel the world is
ugly,
make something beautiful. Stop being so cautious, some movie line said : if
you
take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.
Trust me, as much as life sucks sometimes, and wow, do I know it sucks, it is
still the only thing we know. It is the only thing that matters, and it's
wonderful. Life is a beautiful, ridiculous, tragic disaster, but it's the
only
thing we have. So don't let it lie by the wayside in pursuit of crap that's
barely
important. People are the most important resource, and so are the
relationships we
build with them. I feel the pinch of that more than ever now. If we could
spend
400 billion dollars to cure cancer instead of building and maintaining
weapons, I
wouldn't have to write this. So this is, essentially, a plea. This is the
most
personal thing I've ever written, and I hope it reaches more people than I
ever
could. Don't forget this is the only life you have, make something
worthwhile out
of it, and no one who you've laughed, cried, kissed, and bled with will ever
forget you.
- Matthew D, Lazzara April 2, 1982 - February 15, 2004
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