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A Frackal problem

  • Thread starter Thread starter Frackal
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Frackal

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I'm wondering if anyone else is like this... I personally have what I think to be a good healthy amount of self confidence, I'm not really insecure about a great many things, and I'm secure enough to admit there are things I am not secure about. However I am confident that I'm goodlooking, smart and generally personable...ok ok I like myself alot more than that but I'll keep it humble so you guys will give me more sympathy. =P

Anyway, I have this problem that I think stemmed from bodybuilding...basically, if I am not at MY best, or THE best, especially in looks, I do not really feel like dating girls...I mean I do, but also don't feel adaquate...not inadaquate as far as the girl I'm dating, as in I'm not good enough for her, but inadaquate as far as what I expect from myself ... I think that ever since I've had the vision in my head of my eventual physique goal, I feel unhappy with myself and my physique whatever it may be... I have basically always been like this, when I used to focus it on grades when I was much younger (before I learned to hate school) I had perfect grades and perfect attendance virtually ever year...when I played tennis (shut up) and wouldnt settle for anything less than a state championship I achieved it when I was I think about 14....

However this is something takes a very long time....and it is also hard to explain...the girls I date or mess around with are almost always very pretty, but it's like once I decide I want something this bad I turn into a perfectionist about it and gain both a more positive and more negative self image ...it's almost as though the better I make myself look, the more I had to learn to do so, so the more flaws I see....

Does this seem really odd? Anyway ever since my coming of cycle coincided with my car breaking down and I crashed because I couldnt get to the gym I havent really been excited about dating or even college girls because I dont feel right about myself yet... (even though I am admittedly carrying on something successful so far with a really cute girl right now)

So after all of this can anyone relate, and what do you do?
 
Is this the girl you were telling me about before hun? If it is, good to know that it's progressing.
 
Classic case of Driscoll's Firmament.


Take four Xanax as a suppository, three times a day for 2 weeks.
 
Frack -


Even at your worst you're in better shape than 95% of the guys out there. Most people can't remember the last time they worked out or dieted. You got the body that girls want - what my girlfriends call a "greek god body" - don't feel ashamed bc you missed a week or so.
 
I lost about 8 lbs of muscle in 2 weeks after 10 weeks, the whole summer, working my ass off to get it.... but even beyond that whinyness, everyone has their quirks and issues, this one is my biggest.
 
I can understand not feeling confident if you look like a pice of shit, but if you're in reasonable good shape you're better off than 98% of the guys out there.

Personally, I could easly date a hot girl no matter how ugly I thought I was. :D
 
I can look in the mirror one day and feel like a million dollars. Then if I have one bad meal or miss a work out I feel like I've set myself back weeks. It's a sickness and it's fucked up.
 
I just wish that I were your age again Frackal. I'll take your problem. It's not easy to get single, pretty women at my age with my responsibilities. Noone wants to be second, I have a daughter so I just have to masturbate these days. Damn, I miss regular sex.
 
Taps said:

Personally, I could easly date a hot girl no matter how ugly I thought I was. :D

haha cept why they gonna date you?

Frack, well i don't really gotta say anythign cuz I know everything about the hot bitchy girl that wants your nuts lol, we've talked about it, we basically are the exact same when it comes to this, I know Im good looking, I know Im considered hot by girls (few told me so tonight, always nice) but because I have a vision in my head I have NOT achieved I feel inadequate, incomplete, and won't be happy till I get there..and once again, its not about girls, its about me...anyways man, we just need to lighten up a lil bit and take things as they go and don't stress the physical goal way too much
 
I'm the

G
A
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G
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T
A
 
i understand why.

but, you do not want to know the answer.

it is anxiety... if you are not perfect, you don't feel worthy. you feel insecure. bodybuilding is a masking reaction....:(
 
Puc said:
i understand why.

but, you do not want to know the answer.

it is anxiety... if you are not perfect, you don't feel worthy. you feel insecure. bodybuilding is a masking reaction....:(

yes.. Frackal.. this is 2002!! Men do not work through their problems anymore!!! Look at my chart down below...


Problem: relationships, girls

Symptoms: lack of confidence, depression, anxiety

Treatments:

(Depression)
Anti-Depressants.. Paxil, Serzone.. and if you are a really big pussy.. I mean REALLY big troubles.. Effexor.

(anxiety)
:see depression:

(loss of muscle due to anxiety and depression)
see above 2 symptoms.
 
hehe send me a picture loverboy. I need a new boytoy. And i like the young unsecure ones, with low selfconfidence. i'll ram my norwegian frieght train into your tunnel. And you will never wonder why im called that again.
 
Puc said:
hahaha dballer where have u been? monster truck rally?

I have not been hiding under the covers trying to understand emotion with doctor prescribed excuses...... if that is what you mean.

besides.. it is not monster trucks... I like drag racing cars... and dirt bikes.
 
This is the reverse of the "I'm too fat for anyone to date me" syndrome that afflicts many women. Much in the same way your average woman feels that if she has problem areas no-one will date her, you seem to feel unless all your muscles are 100% ripped and huge no-one will date you?

I think you are suffering the normal anxiety the dating scene heaps on everyone, those important questions: Will I find a life partner who is a good match? Am I competing well on the dating scene? Are the other guys better looking/better dressed/more successful than me? Will I attract the one who is for me?

The time in life when you are looking for that special someone is stressful, because we are all worried we will fail and end up old and alone. Frackal: it doesn't happen. I felt I was totally undatable when I was 20, although I was getting plenty of offers, I had low self-esteem and was very anxious about the future. But MOST FOLKS find a partner they are happy with.

You are displacing your general stress about life, the future, and what it may hold, onto your body and what it looks like, because this is something you can control. Acknowledge that although we can't exercise much control over the future, it's that and not your body you are worried about... and go for it, even if you are afraid, ask that chick for her phone number.

I dated a lot of assholes and also got refused for a date many times in my early 20s. Everything ended up ok though.
 
Your problems are minor. I have to deal with this current situation:
1) GF dumped me beause my Johnson was "too damn big".
2) doc said my bf is too low for good health.
3) machines hardly ever have enough weight available for a good workout. Gym mgr complains that I'm wearing the cables out.
4)Backed my Benz into my Vette. Vettes don't hold up well at all.
5)Lost 250,000 in market last month.
6)Spanish villa overlooking the Mediteranean has roaches. Big ones.
7)Can't find parts for my Bentley.

Your problems are nothing bro.
 
Testosterone boy said:
Your problems are minor. I have to deal with this current situation:
1) GF dumped me beause my Johnson was "too damn big".
2) doc said my bf is too low for good health.
3) machines hardly ever have enough weight available for a good workout. Gym mgr complains that I'm wearing the cables out.
4)Backed my Benz into my Vette. Vettes don't hold up well at all.
5)Lost 250,000 in market last month.
6)Spanish villa overlooking the Mediteranean has roaches. Big ones.
7)Can't find parts for my Bentley.

Your problems are nothing bro.

Damn dude.. they should write a childrens book about you... but I feel you should use more imagination when describing your home in the spanish villa.
 
dballer said:


Damn dude.. they should write a childrens book about you... but I feel you should use more imagination when describing your home in the spanish villa.
I can only imagine the lifelessness of those who take internet humor seriously. Oh...the race cars..I was into that when I was 16. Outgrew at 17. :D
 
yeah.. sometimes you gotta outgrow things like racecars... I remember when I was still into making up stories in the internet...
 
You need to up your Test dosage. With enough Test in your system you can find something good about every woman you see. When you're bangin away on a chick , how can you not feel good about yourself? On enough Test even Whoopie Goldberg would get the fuckin' of her life. :D
 
LOL... well circus girl you do have a point but it's not that I feel no one would date me, I get asked out and all that crap and I know what I am, but there is a difference between a GIRLFRIEND being happy with you and yourself being happy with you, therein lies the problem...
 
casavant said:


I had a black one made of silicone but it ripped. My hand works better anyway.
Grrr...those things. I found a good sale and bought two. They are too short. :( Too bad because it felt pretty good. My hands get pretty rough sometimes.
 
haha damn right she's reffering to you Frack....speaking of which, where the heck is she tonight on IM,, grrrrr Pink, you better get on or the underwear gnomes wil pay you a visit again
 
Frackal you are a perfectionist. You strive to acheive the best you can be.

And even if you get to where you want to be, it is never good enough.

You must learn to accept yourself.
You can work out, eat good and enjoy life.

Don't go through life looking for something that's not there.

What I mean by that is, accept who, and what you are.

I love working out, but as soon as I realized that I'm not going to be
a Cory Everson, BB. The better I learn to accept who I am.
Yes I gain alot of muscle. I reached the goal, but it's something that
goes away.

Accept this early in life and you will enjoy what and who you are now.

Your Friend
Pamela
 
heh.. i wish i was in your position.. im at 6'2, 225... (38 waist) a large amount of that still fat.. because i only dead about 260ish (guess), squat.. who knows what.. and bench 190.. although.. i will have to admit.. i feel 200% better about myself than 6 months ago when i was 280+ at 42 inch waist.. (no working out at all at the time either)

Thomas
 
I love you pamela....


Pink, you wouldnt know what a vagina was for anyway .. so don't talk to me about vaginas girlie
 
Frack is much cooler than I was when I was 19... (if you are 19)

C
 
Don't worry Frack, I think everyone on elite is much harder on themselves physically than the rest of the world because of the attention to working out, diet , hloding themselves to stricter standards etc. What you might percieve as a flaw for competition is something no-one else would notice, or care about, unless they are a contest judge.

You don't have to win Mr Olympia to be a good person... I know what it feels like to not be happy with yourself, I had to accept I can't do everything perfect all the time, and doing one thing less than perfect does not make one a useless worthless person. There's a lot of pressure on folks these days to be 100% at everything, something which is impossible...
 
Once you finally realize that you're not less of a man for having 16.5" biceps instead of 17" things will fall into place.

It doesn't sound like you're "secure" at all. It sounds as though you need a little therapy. No offense man, I'm being serious.
 
bigguns7 said:
Once you finally realize that you're not less of a man for having 16.5" biceps instead of 17" things will fall into place.

It doesn't sound like you're "secure" at all. It sounds as though you need a little therapy. No offense man, I'm being serious.


LOL no man, it isnt' quite as bad sa you're saying....Pamela is right in that it's a perfectionist issue...I'm not a perfectionist with everything, but with what I am most focused on I always am...do you understand the perfectionist mindset?

Pink I was 1/2 kidding too, I wasnt sure if you were.... =)
 
bigguns7 said:
Once you finally realize that you're not less of a man for having 16.5" biceps instead of 17" things will fall into place.

It doesn't sound like you're "secure" at all. It sounds as though you need a little therapy. No offense man, I'm being serious.

you look Emaciated these days
 
HighIntensity said:


you look Emaciated these days

Actually I'm alot fatter than that now (I only wish I could get back to the bf I was there). Guess I need to start taking GHB and getting dances while cleaning up shit all night. Will that make me as jacked as you?
 
Frackal said:



LOL no man, it isnt' quite as bad sa you're saying....Pamela is right in that it's a perfectionist issue...

Well, Pamela said basically the same thing as me (minus the therapy part). Accept who you are and don't spend your life worrying about your bodyfat percentage. She just said it in a nicer way.
 
bigguns7 said:


Actually I'm alot fatter than that now (I only wish I could get back to the bf I was there). Guess I need to start taking GHB and getting dances while cleaning up shit all night. Will that make me as jacked as you?


2 funny but don't get angry cause I am bigger, don't hate, little pipes
 
HighIntensity said:



2 funny but don't get angry cause I am bigger, don't hate, little pipes

I'm not hating on you man. I've got more going for me than you'll ever have.

As long as you're starting threads like "who wants me to e-mail them pictures of myself flexing?" I'll be way above you, even with my little pipes.
 
bigguns7 said:


I'm not hating on you man. I've got more going for me than you'll ever have.

As long as you're starting threads like "who wants me to e-mail them pictures of myself flexing?" I'll be way above you, even with my little pipes.

what is this based upon? cause I already have alot
 
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