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Heres a few things about me that are really not going to make me look good! You know what though, this just goes to show I really dont care. All these statements are true:
1. I was born in Arkansas
2. I flunked kindergarten
3. I took American History 3 years in a row in high school. My senior year I had 3 A's, 2 B's, 1 C, and I didnt know until the very last day of high school if I graduated or not. It was all depending on the American History final exam. I passed! by 1/2%! I graduated HS with a 1.3gpa in 1988.
4. Went to college for 2 years, dropped out when girlfriend got pregnant thought I was going to be career janitor to support bitch and kid forever. She however was also seeing some older guy that had a good job and stuff. She picked him as the dad. I didnt argue! I lost ambition to go back to school, even though I did pretty well. It made a difference when I was paying for it.
5. Took up night ast. mgr job at BurgerKing. I was also assistant at wendys, hardees, shoneys, and Captain Dees! Sorry Dcup, never worked at KFC! I can make one hellofa whopper though, you get good after 20,000 of them.
6. Have consistently made 55to70k last 7 years. I will this year also, even though im not working at the moment. That will change.
7. Yes Dcup, you were right about the moonshine. I have my own distiller. I made it myself. Rolled the tubing, tig welded the stainless, grew the fucking potatoes and stole the wheat out of the back of the combine every year from the pig farmer that lives next door. No shit. Very odd that you mentioned hillbilly and moonshine in previous thread! You either have been using a stealth or my gaydar is on the blink again!
8. I have over 80 porno tapes and jack off on average 1-3 times per day. Even when im getting it.
9. I play heavy metal guitar. And wear coveralls. At the same time.
10. I have 22 cars in the yard. Some of them are stacked on each other. Some of the them are cut in half. Some of them are behind a trash pile that blocks the horizon. 3 of them are drivable. Including my 78 red chevy pickup. Guys at work dig this truck! Its so fucking bad they beg me to drive it! True story, I got pulled over in it on the way to work and was told to turn around and go back from where I came and get something else to drive or be slapped with $300.00 in fines(no muffler, lights, seatbelts, floorboards, insurance, etc)and a court appearance.
11. I live in the sticks. I have a gay guy that lives directly behind me. He has a 3time world champion jack ass that has a dick dragging the ground all the time.
12. Ive been arrested twice. Once for peeing in public, the other one for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
13. I have 7 cats in the house and a front porch that chickens get on.
14. Last week the sherriff came out and chewed my ass for dumping oil on the gravel road in front of my house. Then he came out two hours later and delivered a tax warrant.
15. My house has 5 layers of shingles on it. I have 2 outhouses in the backyard.
16. Before he was taken off to federal prison, my brotherinlaw lived in the back of a pickup that was on blocks in my backyard for 2 years. I am still mowing over the pot plants every year.
17. Last summer I sponsered my first ever Pet funeral. In which my brothers girlfriends dog got ran over. Theylive in town and needed a place to bury it. So they brought it out, at 1am on a weeknight! 3 cars showed up, about 13 people in all(I couldnt fucking believe it, i acually counted them). Everyone was crying, and some ass actually gave a sermon that went something like: dearly beloved, were here to mourn the loss of our dear Shnitzel. Then they left and the phone rang one hour later and brother was in jail cause he got caught driving with no license. Had to bail him out. I hit the bottle hard after that one!
18. I got 3 residences running off one water meter. The water company is currently trying to sue me as I ran them off with a shotgun for tyring to shut my water off as there saying each residence needs its own meter. Bullshit. Thats 7k kiss my ass.
19. My wife sells car parts. I am her biggest customer.
20. My parents just won a 2.75 million dollar lawsuit. After all fees they got roughly 2million. I have not seen nor heard from them since. We get along great, but there out living it up. Somewhere. Good for them.
21. My mother in law lives with us. She is 76. She spends all day in bed except to get up and eat or go to the bathroom. The last time I seen her today(she never closes the door) she was standing up slightly bent over in front of the toilet bowl. Instead of sitting down to shit, she was standing up. I seen a turd the size of a small dog fly out of her ass and fall all over the toilet followed by a continous belching fart. I have to run a snake down the fucking toilet once per week becaue she goes thru about 30 rolls of toilet paper a week.
22. I drain the septic tank onto the garden.
23. My friends came out one time to look for shroons under the cow pies. One supposedly found one and ate it. He had cow shit between his teeth. It obviously wasnt a good shroon he complained about the shit taste more than anything.
24. MY shop is propped up with 4x4s and leaks like a waterfall because I got drunk on my moonshine one night and ran into it with the bucket of my ford8n tractor while I was trying to move a junk vehicle and collapsed one side of the shop.
25. My other neighbor 1 mile down the road has a 2"x2" steel welded frame around his mailbox because he pissed me off for stealing parts off one of my old coupes so I blew it up with dynamite.
So there you go, thats just a start. You see, this is why I laugh when you say shit about me. You have no idea. At least im honest. If a lot of the fucks would post true life shit they'd never be talked to again. Everything here its true. Theres a lot more, but I dont want to bore you even more. Have fun with it Dcup, it doesnt get any better than this!
1. I was born in Arkansas
2. I flunked kindergarten
3. I took American History 3 years in a row in high school. My senior year I had 3 A's, 2 B's, 1 C, and I didnt know until the very last day of high school if I graduated or not. It was all depending on the American History final exam. I passed! by 1/2%! I graduated HS with a 1.3gpa in 1988.
4. Went to college for 2 years, dropped out when girlfriend got pregnant thought I was going to be career janitor to support bitch and kid forever. She however was also seeing some older guy that had a good job and stuff. She picked him as the dad. I didnt argue! I lost ambition to go back to school, even though I did pretty well. It made a difference when I was paying for it.
5. Took up night ast. mgr job at BurgerKing. I was also assistant at wendys, hardees, shoneys, and Captain Dees! Sorry Dcup, never worked at KFC! I can make one hellofa whopper though, you get good after 20,000 of them.
6. Have consistently made 55to70k last 7 years. I will this year also, even though im not working at the moment. That will change.
7. Yes Dcup, you were right about the moonshine. I have my own distiller. I made it myself. Rolled the tubing, tig welded the stainless, grew the fucking potatoes and stole the wheat out of the back of the combine every year from the pig farmer that lives next door. No shit. Very odd that you mentioned hillbilly and moonshine in previous thread! You either have been using a stealth or my gaydar is on the blink again!
8. I have over 80 porno tapes and jack off on average 1-3 times per day. Even when im getting it.
9. I play heavy metal guitar. And wear coveralls. At the same time.
10. I have 22 cars in the yard. Some of them are stacked on each other. Some of the them are cut in half. Some of them are behind a trash pile that blocks the horizon. 3 of them are drivable. Including my 78 red chevy pickup. Guys at work dig this truck! Its so fucking bad they beg me to drive it! True story, I got pulled over in it on the way to work and was told to turn around and go back from where I came and get something else to drive or be slapped with $300.00 in fines(no muffler, lights, seatbelts, floorboards, insurance, etc)and a court appearance.
11. I live in the sticks. I have a gay guy that lives directly behind me. He has a 3time world champion jack ass that has a dick dragging the ground all the time.
12. Ive been arrested twice. Once for peeing in public, the other one for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
13. I have 7 cats in the house and a front porch that chickens get on.
14. Last week the sherriff came out and chewed my ass for dumping oil on the gravel road in front of my house. Then he came out two hours later and delivered a tax warrant.
15. My house has 5 layers of shingles on it. I have 2 outhouses in the backyard.
16. Before he was taken off to federal prison, my brotherinlaw lived in the back of a pickup that was on blocks in my backyard for 2 years. I am still mowing over the pot plants every year.
17. Last summer I sponsered my first ever Pet funeral. In which my brothers girlfriends dog got ran over. Theylive in town and needed a place to bury it. So they brought it out, at 1am on a weeknight! 3 cars showed up, about 13 people in all(I couldnt fucking believe it, i acually counted them). Everyone was crying, and some ass actually gave a sermon that went something like: dearly beloved, were here to mourn the loss of our dear Shnitzel. Then they left and the phone rang one hour later and brother was in jail cause he got caught driving with no license. Had to bail him out. I hit the bottle hard after that one!
18. I got 3 residences running off one water meter. The water company is currently trying to sue me as I ran them off with a shotgun for tyring to shut my water off as there saying each residence needs its own meter. Bullshit. Thats 7k kiss my ass.
19. My wife sells car parts. I am her biggest customer.
20. My parents just won a 2.75 million dollar lawsuit. After all fees they got roughly 2million. I have not seen nor heard from them since. We get along great, but there out living it up. Somewhere. Good for them.
21. My mother in law lives with us. She is 76. She spends all day in bed except to get up and eat or go to the bathroom. The last time I seen her today(she never closes the door) she was standing up slightly bent over in front of the toilet bowl. Instead of sitting down to shit, she was standing up. I seen a turd the size of a small dog fly out of her ass and fall all over the toilet followed by a continous belching fart. I have to run a snake down the fucking toilet once per week becaue she goes thru about 30 rolls of toilet paper a week.
22. I drain the septic tank onto the garden.
23. My friends came out one time to look for shroons under the cow pies. One supposedly found one and ate it. He had cow shit between his teeth. It obviously wasnt a good shroon he complained about the shit taste more than anything.
24. MY shop is propped up with 4x4s and leaks like a waterfall because I got drunk on my moonshine one night and ran into it with the bucket of my ford8n tractor while I was trying to move a junk vehicle and collapsed one side of the shop.
25. My other neighbor 1 mile down the road has a 2"x2" steel welded frame around his mailbox because he pissed me off for stealing parts off one of my old coupes so I blew it up with dynamite.
So there you go, thats just a start. You see, this is why I laugh when you say shit about me. You have no idea. At least im honest. If a lot of the fucks would post true life shit they'd never be talked to again. Everything here its true. Theres a lot more, but I dont want to bore you even more. Have fun with it Dcup, it doesnt get any better than this!
