3 somes? Advice, suggestions?

[RealDeal]

OK, I hope I don't get flammed for this, but thought I'd give it a shot since you all seems to have some good suggestions when you cut through all the joking & B.S. Don't get me wrong, I get a kick out of these boards, but I'm really looking for some suggestions here.

To get to my point, I've been with my girl for over 1 1/2 years now and we're very happy together...in every respect. We rock it, and rock it well. We're both satisfied, but she's always fantasized about having a threesome with another girl. The topic has come up quite a number of times over the last year. Her fav. part of porns is watching women together. Now, she says she loves the "D" and couldn't ever give it up, but has this desire to thrown another lady in the mix just to try it. She knows she'll either like it, or not, and this is the only way she'll find out for sure.

So, I know there's those of you that've done it before, including you ladies (Nat & others) if all the innuendo is not total B.S. Bottom line: suggestions on finding and getting another woman to join me & my girl. We've been to a couple of strip clubs and my g/f loves getting lap dances. I've heard from guys who've managed to take a stripper home using lots of $$ or drugs as bait, but I'm not loaded like that and we don't mess w/shit like coke. So, aside from that and picking up a hooker, any other suggestions? Her choice is a hottie blonde...Nat, you'll do wonderfully, by the way!

Seriously, any suggestions ladies & gents would be appreciated.

 

[needleboy]

HEy bro,

Just for the record, some fantasies should stay just that. If this is just causul go for it, if not leave it alone.

If you fall in love, after doing this it's one thing, but watching someone you love already do it is another thing all together.

From experience I can tell you, it's hard to respect a woman after you watch her eat pussy.

 

[Test boy]

If your girl look good just post a pic with your request. You came to the right place, this board is loaded with bi's!

 

[RealDeal]

If your girl look good just post a pic with your request. You came to the right place, this board is loaded with bi's!

Haha. Thanks for the suggestion. Will consider it if that request is potential offer is made by some of the ladies on here.

needleboy - I understand that bro. I've heard it before and so has my g/f...from another girl in fact. This is just purely casual according to my girl. Like I said, she says she could never give up the "D" and our relationship is solid. I'd totally go for it, it's just finding that 3rd party that's the prob. Personally, don't think I'd mind seeing my g/f with another woman...just the opposite! But I told her, "only if I'm in on that action!"

 

[needleboy]

I meant casual between the two of you- it's you who has to still love and respect her afterwards.

Remember after, the rules in the relationship have changed!!!

 

[big4rt]

Bro, needleboy is right. some fantasies should stay just that. i have noticed that most people who get down like that are in their forties and have been married for at least 15 years. they have great jobs and love their spouses to death, and i am told that since they are so comfortable with their hubbies or wives that sex is simply sex to them. therefore, adding a third gives it some "spice". just remember that i am talking about folks who have been married for 15+ years and are married people. beware of what you ask for, bro. good luck.

 

[RealDeal]

Thanks for the concern guys. Seriously, it's cool that you're offering up that kind of advice and not just saying "whatever" or "screw it", etc.

Understand though, that I'm not asking for this, she is. Our relationship is not just casual...I misunderstood you before...it's solid. I'm sure many people who end up trying it say this too, but I don't see something like this shoving a brick between the two of us. I can see how it can do that to some couples if they don't seriously discuss it beforehand or there's some distance there initially. The stories I've heard before were people that carried it to another level and the original two broke up because one of 'em decided the liked the 3rd person better, or one couple even invited the 3rd person to move in w/'em...big mistake.

She and I have discussed this and neither of us think that would happen, but I understand that it's still a risk. And no, I don't agree that the rules change afterwards. Neither of us still has the freedom to have sex with anyone else we want. This would only be when the two of us are together.

So, assuming she and I have discussed this thoroughly and both agree to give it a shot, THEN what are some suggestions on going about making it happen???

Thanks bros and ladies...

 

[Sassy69]

RD -

I can't help you on the part of finding a 3rd partner -- but when you discuss this, I would definitely clearly address the ground rules - about who can touch who. E.g. you can watch, only she can touch, etc. There is all sorts of funny jealousy stuff that can pop up when you least expect it, regardless all the forethought in the world. Even if the ground rules have been discussed, somehow something can happen that results in unspoken jealousy, with smoldering resentment following as a result of assumptions on either parties' part about what they thought the other party should've known better than to do or not do.

 

[X.X]

I totally agree with Sassy. If she really wants to do this, you need to know eachother's limits and set some rules. I wouldn't want to go there myself.

There's an alternative paper here in Seattle,The Stranger, where people are always placing ads for a third person to have sex with. That's the only thing I know about finding another partner. It would be nice if you could find someone you already know, but then there could be conflict etc - bad stuff.

 

[RealDeal]

OK. I talked to her about it again tonight and she's still totally gung-ho about it. We laid out ground rules and I even expressed some concern and mentioned some of the previous advice from the guys above. She restated that there's no way she could ever just be with a woman, but wants to have the experience and will always wonder if she doesn't try it at least once, etc. She'd never want to do it if I wasn't there and taking part, etc., etc.

We thought about all the girls she & I know, but none of that would work for various reasons. We figured a person neither of us knows would be better, but don't have a clue where we'd have any luck finding someone that's not a pyscho. Guess we'll just try the strip clubs on occassion and maybe look into an alternative paper, but who knows what kind of person would respond to such an ad.

I just thought with the people who've actually had a threesome, there'd be more responses. I know at least Nat and Pumpgirl have mentioned partaking in the past! Come on girls!!! Throw a guy a bone here pleeease!

 

[bstone]

My advice, let your girl find the other woman to join in. It puts her in control of the situation and that is a good thing because she can't throw it in your face if it ruins your relationship. It can happen, trust me. People get wierd after things like this, it almost opens a new door that says, "hey, I can fuck whoever I want now."
Also, get some viagra and enjoy the ride! Both of them.

This may be the first and last time it ever happens!!

 

[Sassy69]

Have you checked out any local swing clubs? Do you have any of those around? (I"m reaching because I've only heard stories myself.)

 

[RealDeal]

Um, not that I know of, but I wouldn't be surprised. Actually, I heard of this one a couple years back, but think it got closed down. They only let in women or couples, no men alone (which is understandable). It was clothing-optional from what I heard. Guess it's too bad it closed down, but I'd toss a guess what we may have run out of there screaming from such hideous sights as those that probably frequented the place.

 

[RealDeal]

Bump dammit. I know there has to be some of you out there with direct experience...especially at least a lady or two.

 

[GearedChupaCabra]

Holy shit bro!!!!

my gf has the same fantasy...i mean we never went out looking for a girl but she would love to...and its all up to me...we`ve been together for 3 years and we couldnt be any happier...in fact we`re getting engaged next year anyway, even though a 3 some is a fetish of mine i would never do it with someone i`m planning to spend the rest of my life with, things would change between us....i could never look at her the same way, you`ll always have the picture of her going at it with some bitch, and what happens when she tells you shes going out with her girl friend, for a girls night out, i know i would be pulling my hairs and would not like the idea...if you really love her you`ll know what i`m talking about...now if this is a girl that you`re just with and not sure if you have a future together them fuck it go for it...just my 2 cent...

 

[TN MuscleBear]

Back to some practical advice...find the number for one of those automated telephone dating lines...a lot of times in the back pages of one of the "alternative" newspapers that lists clubs and the like...

Put a voice ad on there and see who responds. Then arrange to meet a few of the ladies who sound ok in a public place and see if there's any chemistry. Sounds odd, but this is the most direct way to find what you're looking for.

 

[natglutes]

RealDeal providing your relationship is solid and you have discussed pros and cons...........go for it........you will love it.
Its not that easy to find single fems for a 3somes, since there are tons of couples out there looking for the same thing. Try posting your add ..........you'd be suprised how many people are into this........try swinging clubs where they have special nights for couples and single ladies only.........or go to Hedonism II.
I know that a lot of people will not agree with this lifestyle, but love and sex are 2 different issues .....
Im bi and proud love my orgy's

 

[tripleV]

i totally understand this also. i am married and "think" of the same things ALL the time.
So Nat, you have experience with this. No problems if your relationship is solid? How long have you been doing this sort of thing, and is it with your current relationship? BTW did you go to Hedonism II?
Thanks...

 

[natglutes]

tripleV yes Im presently in the lifestyle.......with my current hubby. I dont think I could of done that if I didnt trust my partner. Ive been doing this for over 6years.....with the same guy that Im married to.
No I didnt go to HedonismII but heard from a friend that anything goes ..........l

 

[RealDeal]

Thanks for the replies, especially you Nat. I knew you had some experience so I appreciate it.

ChupaCabra - actually, it's very likely we'll get engaged in the next 12 months. I actually don't feel the exact same way you do. Thinking of seeing my g/f and another woman go at it is certainly not unappealing to me, and afterwards, when she has a "girls night out" I won't be worrying. For one, none of her friends seems to share this interest, secondly, she refuses to be with one without me there, and lastly it's all about trust.

We've thoroughly discussed this, even more so in the past few days. She definately wants me involved, but says that I cannot have intercourse with or kiss this other woman. Anything else goes. That's OK by me since I'd never want her being nailed by some other dude, so I get where she's coming from. Not to mention this fantasy is hers, not mine...though I can't say I wouldn't enjoy being part of it.

Nat - thanks again for the advice. We've found a web site that's used for hooking up interested individuals and parties, so we've posted our profile and seeking out a 3rd person in our area. We don't want to "swing" with other couples, though the couples night and single womens night sound like possibilities. What is this Hedonism II? Sound like some sort of convention.

 

[Sassy69]

Hedonism II is an all-inclusive "clothing optional" resort in Jamaica

http://www.super-clubs.com/Hedonism.html

I've never been, but I've heard.... There's like a nude side and a "prude" side LOL

 

[RealDeal]

Thx Sassy - I'll check it out. Maybe down the road if all goes well and we both decide we're into it that much...could be interesting.

 

[Milhouse]

I have been in 3 threesomes in the past year and they rock.

I haven't been on the other side of the coin as far as a current girlfriend being involved though.

Anyways the only I find is that you really have to sit down and talk about all kinds of stuffff with the people you are going to be doing the deed with because it gets everyone comfy woth each other and all.

The first few minutes are awkward but then from there let the good times roll.

It's safe to say that my next girlfriend must be preferably bi-sexual.
MY sex drive is just way too out of control and I cannot just have sex with the same girl all the time.


Like I believe it was Nat who said above, love and sex are 2 different things.

Do a search under swinging on google.com and see what sites and clubs come up in your area.
Hope this helps.