3-some question

[Alkybanshee]

I have the best girl ever, she is absolutley beautiful, kick ass bod and gives me more sex than you could imagine. Both of us are 24, work out all of the time and are in very good shape. We have been together for about a year and we have a very physical relationship (always have). Heres the deal, we have been discussing a possible threesome, with another woman I'm definatley straight, shes has never been with another chick before and wonders about it. We often visit the local topless establishment and she wants to start going to swingers bars to look for girls. Of course I'm all for it in the aspect of 2 chicks at once, hell yea! But, we are planning on getting married and I dont want this to be an issue. She is the very secure with our relationship but she is the jealous type. My question is should we go for it? And if so, should it be with a stranger or someone we know. She has a friend who is hot and they like to get drunk together and kiss, shes a slut and I know she would do it and me if the three of us were drunk, ect, ect ect..... Please help, I like hearing what everyone has to say!!

 

[Cakalac]

I feel where you are coming from, I am kinda in the same position. My girl tells me that she is afraid that I would enjoy the other girl too much. I know that's the point but she means enjoy like want to be with. It is like playing with fire. If you were not thinking of getting married I would say go for it, but since you are I would be rather weary. If you decide to go with it then I would go for a stranger. The friend thing might mess with the whole friendship in the long run, I would always feel weird if it didn't go well. But if it went well, hell hold on for the ride. You struck a goldmine my friend. Talk to the Kronks, they have exp. with this stuff!

 

[Scottie2]

in your situation, it sounds like one of those things that could come bite you in the ass somewhere down the road.. but only because you are planning to get married.. if she is even a little jealous, she could come out of the experience with a real bad taste in her mouth.. because i gaurantee that you will be probably be paying more attention to her friend because she is something different and new/exciting.. if you are crazy about your girl, there is no reason to risk it IMHO

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

I will tell you what I did when the idea of inviting a female came up. I have never been involved in a threesome but my ex and I talked about it the last year of our relationship.

Hopefully this will help in answering all of your questions and providing advice.

The way your g/f feels is quite normal, I think. I also pondered about my partner being with person outside of what we would do together (the 3 of us). The best you can do is assure your g/f that you love her and you never plan on doing such thing without her there. (Provided you feel this way) That helped ease my worries and calm my fears. What also helped me was our decision to find someone outside of our local area and make it a one time thing as opposed to doing it with someone we knew or someone that may know people we knew. That may or may not be something you care to do. For us we felt this was best based on several other things.

Prior to ever doing this you and your g/f MUST discuss what you both see as acceptable acts during your 3some. For example, I at one point didn't want my partner to have intercourse even if he used protection with this girl. I did later change my mind. If your g/f doesn't want you to do certain things this should be discussed and vice versa. You may want to share "the list" of unacceptable acts with your 3rd party or you may not want to. It all depends. Some people feel its best to meet a random person whereas others feel its best to have a 3some with someone they already know. Talking about what you both expect and/or will feel comfortable with each other doing during a 3some will avoid problems in your relationship later on.

If you plan on just going out and meeting someone I would think that its best to go out to a club/bar. Have your g/f just dance by herself or vice versa. She is apt to find a girl that she finds attractive or vice versa. If you both have the same taste in girls then its even better as she(or you) can "make a move" without having to worry if the girl will be someone you will both like. You should sit somewhere were you can see your g/f dancing and picking up girls, this will also arouse you so you get something out of it as well. So your g/f dances with her and what not and then if she feels the girl is interested she can take it further and hopefully that will lead to you guys going home or somewhere else with this girl.

If you plan on doing this with someone you already know and have in mind. I would make sure that this girl is into 3somes. If you are certain the best way to make it happen without being blunt would be to invite her over for dinner at your house. Have some drinks, etc. and then take it from there.

Personally I would never go to a swingers club. But that's my own personal decision based on many things. If that's your thing then go for it, too!

If you plan on marriage down the road and you see this as a possible problem down the road but you both still want to try it I would suggest making the 3rd party be a stranger so that its less worrysome in some ways but then again it can be riskier in other ways.

I hope this helps. If you wondered about something else that I didn't cover or have any other questions feel free to ask.

Enjoy your possible threesome!

 

[THeMaCHinE]

This will answer a lot of your basic questions, and touches on jealousy, etc.

http://www.softswing.com/index-1.shtml

Do not involve a friend -- unless you want that friend to become an (emotional) addition (ala' menage-a-trois, versus a threesome) to your relationship.

 

[milo hobgoblin]

OUCH

already sounds BAD> Ive been through this... girl and I had a threesome with another girl and when she saw me inside her got very upset (waited till after to say anything though)


Explain to her VERY clearly that she has to leave her jealousies at the door... start slow and see how she responds... go down on the other chick WITH your girl... maybe fuck your girl while she is going down on the other then slowly work your way in... if she scoffs... back off.

But talking about it beforehand is utmost important.


BTW Swingers clubs are fun... but if your girl has a problem with a threesome... she would lose her fucking mind in a swingers club. Women will be all over you.


Have fun... its an experience you'll NEVER forget.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

Milo -- you visit on-premise or off-premise clubs?

 

[joack]

My girlfriend and I have discussed this very topic. I've never hada 3 some and she's been with women in her past. We dont want to do it with one of her friends because of the obvious problems it would cause. We've gone to swing clubs (Lush-SF) in san francisco, but we either just fucked eachother, we didn't feel comfortable with anyone there. It was an experience, we've gone back a couple of times I cause we like doing shit infront of people. A few times women touched and sucked her tits (which are nice) that was kinda cool. I just want the hole shabang (3some) to jump off one day.

 

[b fold the truth]

Is it worth the RISK of losing this relationship???

B True

 

[THeMaCHinE]

bfold poses a good question ...