How i handled my bear situation and other stories, by stilleto stilleto.

[stilleto]

O look I'm swimming in the middle of the Pacific and there are sharks everywhere. These damn sharks, they are so annoying, where they come from??? What are they doing here?

boy, you're retarded.
at least i know to expect bears.

you gotta get out more.

 

[rsnoble-im-back]

yes, that's it.
of course, I would not let her wait down there with a bear! how do you think she lasted 12 years if i was that kind of mother?
duh.

oh, and why do i think there's bears? the fact that I see bears going down there was a big clue. i'm very swift and determined that if i see bears there, it means there are bears there.
in fact, i've decided that if i see bears there a lot, it probably means they live there.
they are PROBABLY thinking the same about us.

OMG!! I am going to save this thread, particularly this response. That's some funny crap right there.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

i'm too caught up in my own life to worry about my own stuff.

i stopped storing honey in my studio though.

you should dip yourself in honey and sleep outside for a night. that'll totally scare the bears away.

 

[stilleto]

stilleto will kick your ass!

i'm too caught up in my own life to kick his ass.

no wait. no i'm not.

 

[Smurfy]

i'm too caught up in my own life to kick his ass.

no wait. no i'm not.

are you naked yet? wtf is taking you so long?

 

[fistfullofsteel]

boy, you're retarded.
at least i know to expect bears.

you gotta get out more.

so what you want the police to do? sing the bears a fucking lullaby.

 

[stilleto]

you should dip yourself in honey and sleep outside for a night. that'll totally scare the bears away.

yeah, if i had a pool filled with honey, i would.

how does one dip themselves in honey?

you're not smart.

 

[Smurfy]

omg i need to pee

 

[fistfullofsteel]

yeah, if i had a pool filled with honey, i would.

how does one dip themselves in honey?

you're not smart.

rent a dunk tank.

 

[stilleto]

so what you want the police to do? sing the bears a fucking lullaby.

reading comprehension much?

where did i say i want the police to do anything?

do you want me to call you and walk you through this thread till you get it?