Ever been to an open casket funeral? (to open, or not open? That is the question)

[big_bad_buff]

When you see that lifeless person you once knew for the first time, how does it make you feel?

I’v been to two, and I don’t like it, I don’t like it at all. Someone died in my moms church, and I knew her a little, but knew her husband pretty good I guess.

Would it be wrong for me to say I don’t want to go if it’s an open casket? Seriously I can’t fucking stand sitting there looking at a dead corps for an hour. Even if it was my own mother I’d have that thing closed. There is no point in seeing someone who doesn’t look like that person anymore.

 

[2Shy]

My dad had an open casket viewing, but it was closed during the funeral.

My step-brother had an open casket. That was hard because he died pretty young (20s) and I never in my life saw him in a suit but his wife put him in one. Guess it doesn't matter, but it didn't seem like him in there. I'm pretty sure he'd have preferred to be wearing his Levis and motorcycle jacket.

 

[Seashell]

I've only been to one open-casket and I didn't like it either. Just me being selfish though, it upsets me to see that person like that, I'd rather imagine them in a better place.

But if you're close to the people involved, it shouldn't matter if they asked you to carry the dead body on your back the entire time, you do it, in my opinion.

 

[The_Ghost]

I have been to lots of those.

I myself find it tough as sometimes the person looks nothing like they really did.

Most I have been to close it during the service.

There is no wrong decision here, we all handle these things different and only you can decide what to do for you.

 

[big4life]

My dad had an open casket viewing, but it was closed during the funeral.

The same here.

I have been to several viewings that were open casket, and they left me with a feeling of being totally alone. I have yet to see someone like that and think that they look anything like they did alive. Maybe it's because the soul is gone and all that is left laying there is the vessel that the soul traveled in.

 

[Code]

I have. Many.
Last one was my sister-in-law's. She died in a car wreck.

They never look like you remember. But it doesn't haunt you.

 

[WODIN]

I come from a long line of dead people.

 

[FitFossil]

Open casket is creepy. They have people who dress the body, style the hair and apply special makeup. Fact is, the person is dead, and no amount of artistry can hide the fact.

Everything about the whole process is creepy, which is why I want to be cremated. I'm donating all my organs, so I probably won't look too good anyway. Embalming is gross - they drain all your blood and pump you with embalming fluid to "preserve" you. Why on earth do I want to be preserved?! - and possibly with bad hair and makeup? NO WAY

 

[Ashamed]

are you allowed to have sex with them?

 

[JerseyDevil]

I dont like open caskets because it seems to be the last thing burned into my mind that I actually remember about the person. So when I do go to them I just dont look.

 

[hardrock]

When I was little I remember going to one of my grandpa's funeral. I looked in at him and could just barel see some staple like shiny objects on the inseide of his mouth. I imagine they were to keep his mouth shut.

Imagine how death breath smells?

 

[Spartacus]

Open casket is creepy. They have people who dress the body, style the hair and apply special makeup. Fact is, the person is dead, and no amount of artistry can hide the fact.

Everything about the whole process is creepy, which is why I want to be cremated. I'm donating all my organs, so I probably won't look too good anyway. Embalming is gross - they drain all your blood and pump you with embalming fluid to "preserve" you. Why on earth do I want to be preserved?! - and possibly with bad hair and makeup? NO WAY

I'm a mortician and I could really get this thread rockin and rolling...embalming is mainly to arrest the decomp process and sanitize so that there may be a viewing..we are quite good at preparing the deceased and giving a natural appearance

 

[EnderJE]

I'm with the others. An open caskey is creepy. The person is off colour cause their dead and it gives me the creeps.

 

[saint808]

i've been to far too many in my young life...

 

[calveless wonder]

it's scary shit.........

couple of my friends were fucked up for awhile after a kid we knew died after drinking too much...seeing his body in an open casket was really surreal.

 

[Spartacus]

been a busy weekend for me..2 regular old women die..car accident death this morning..leaves behind wife and 3 sons..earlier had a late 20s guy hang himself,leaves behind wife and 4 children..tell you what though,this business has taught me a lot about life and living..goota go back to work now...

 

[Russian KGB]

I think open casket is not such a good idea. It's hard as it is for people to know their loved ones are gone...
Why not keep the last memory of that person in your mind alive and smiling, rather than the one laying lifeless in the casket.
It just intensifies the trauma.

My grandfather died when I was little, he played a big role in my childhood where the rest of the family lacked... I saw his dead body that looked nothing like him. To day everytime I recall his image, I see that face in the casket, I wished I'd never seen it.
I would rather live with the memories of a person full of life, as happy and joyfull as he was, rather than the horrible image I can never erase from my memory...
He never kept his promise, he never made it to my weeding...

 

[Pamela]

When my brother died he had an open casket..
I was very upset and sad beyond anything I've ever experience.
I bent down and kissed him on the cheek.. Cold like a stone.
Ever since then I've disliked going to any funerals.

And when I "had" to go.. I remember people saying:
How good they look!!! How can they look good? Their dead.
I'm going to be cremated now!

 

[Pikaia]

They never look like you remember. But it doesn't haunt you.

 

[Lestat]

I prefer open.

True, they never do look like they did when they were alive, but that just goes to show you that "they" whatever that is, is gone, and only the body remains.

It really helps me with the grieving process to see the person one last time, and then to see the casket being buried at the cemetary.

my family has a tradition where family members who have passed away are brought home after embalming and what not and visitation is held at the house. It sounds creepy, I know, but it has many benefits to the family and mourners. You can hold an all day visitation, and it not at some morbid funeral chapel, people can attend the visitation at your home and not have to be even in the same room as the body if they do not want to. You don't have to worry about the timing and arangments and shitty music at a funeral home. Also if you wish, the body can stay overnight, like the last night that they will ever be there.

 

[Spartacus]

.
Cold like a stone.

actaully they are room temperature..~72 or so..feels cold as you are used to feeling warmth from another..what was wierd for me intitially when I was training to embalm was feeling a dead body that was warm..I'm thinking,they're dead,why are they warm?...a freshly deceased body will actauuly increase in temp for a short period after death,then of course it cools...the quickest way to determine time of death is to measure body temp..allowing for extraneous factors such as the environment of the death(e.g. dying in the snow),insulation of the deceased etc...and Pam you must have been emotionally moved enough to kiss the deceased....and for the record a properly embalmed body is more sanitized than a live one fresh form the shower..living people's skin is swarming with microbes..an embalmed body is both cleaned and no longer producing sweat and/or excreting body toxins as a live one..much less of a suitable environment for pathogens and germs and their buddies..we will work for hours rebuilding the faces of accident victims and gunshot suicides..I'll suture with dental floss and rebuild crushed skulls and mandibles just so the family of the deceased can have a viewing and have some closure...its vitally important that the loved one's are at least able to see that in fact thier family member is gone.. I woke up this morning with a phone call that a guy was killed in a car accident..before I was even able to see the guy myself(he was out hunting in the backwoods of alabama) the family was imploring me to let them see him..I haven't even had my coffee and I'm diplomatically dealing with an obviously stressed family and trying to explain to them that it might not be a good idea..I had to see the guy myself and then make a judgment call..the family was really persistant and after I cleaned him up to some extent I allowed one of his 3 sons to view him(he wasn't that bad,died from a broken neck most likely,but he still had a fair amount of lacerations and abrasions on one side of his head,i.e. he was still bleeding)..the son viewed him and then agreed it was best to wait until after I embalmed him before the rest fo the family could view..just an example of the importance to view the deceased so as to have some confirmation.

 

[Ashamed]

fuck your posts are long.... u an undertaker or summit?

 

[Pamela]

Pam you must have been emotionally moved enough to kiss the deceased.

He was my brother.That I was very close to. I actually thought it was a dream.. It wasn't real.
It took years to get over it..I use to dream he would come back just to let me know he was OK!

 

[Ashamed]

Does anyone else freak that their dead relatives might be watching them masturbate?

Well, that's my thought for today.....

 

[Heahy Minister]

The two funerals I've been to, both my grandparents, were open casket.

I don't see the problem with it at all. Wasn't creepy to me.

I prefer open casket myself. It allows you to see the person in a manner with which he/she is in ultimate traquility and peace. What's so creepy about that?

I also kissed both my grandparents and it was very touching. Sure they were not warm, but they were soooo at peace I felt a sense of happiness in a way as well.