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You have 2 cows....conservative, liberal and communist view points.
http://www.NAUrepublicans.com ^ | 8/27/2004 | Max
Posted on 08/28/2004 9:20:46 PM PDT by StudentsForBush
LIBERAL -You have two cows. -Your neighbor has none. -You feel guilty for being successful. -Instead of giving your neighbor one of your cows, you write to your congressman, demanding that he pass legislation for more government programs to help your neighbor get a cow. -You hold a concert to raise awareness for the cow-lessness. -Barbara Streisand sings for the cow-less, who couldn't attend because ticket prices are so expensive that only people with 3 or 4 cows can afford to attend. -You wear a ribbon that signifies that you care about cowless people, even though you really haven't done anything to help them at all.
CONSERVATIVE -You have two cows. -Your neighbor has none. -So?
SOCIALIST -You have two cows. -The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. -You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST -You have two cows. -The government seizes both and provides you with milk. -You wait in line for hours to get it. -It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. -You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. -The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. -The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. -You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. -You are surprised when one cow drops dead. -You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses. -Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You go on strike because you want three cows. -You go to lunch and drink wine. -Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION -Yo u have two cows. -You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. -They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. -Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. -Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION -You have two cows but you don't know where they are. -While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. -You break for lunch. -Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You have some vodka. -You count them and learn you have four cows. -You have some more vodka. -You count them again and learn you have eight cows. -The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION -You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. -You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. -Then you kill them and c laim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
IRAQI CORPORATION -You have two cows. -They go into hiding. -They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION -You have two bulls. -Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
CALIFORNIAN -You have a cow and a bull. -The bull is depressed. -It has spent its life living a lie. -It goes away for two weeks. -It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation. -You now have two cows. -One makes milk; the other doesn't. -You try to sell the transgender cow. -Its lawyer sues you for discrimination. -You lose in court. -You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages. -You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow. -You change your business to beef. -PETA pickets your farm. -Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway. -Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows." -Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for the children." -Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico. & gt; > >>-The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats. -You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations. -The cow starves to death. -The L.A.Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.
http://www.NAUrepublicans.com ^ | 8/27/2004 | Max
Posted on 08/28/2004 9:20:46 PM PDT by StudentsForBush
LIBERAL -You have two cows. -Your neighbor has none. -You feel guilty for being successful. -Instead of giving your neighbor one of your cows, you write to your congressman, demanding that he pass legislation for more government programs to help your neighbor get a cow. -You hold a concert to raise awareness for the cow-lessness. -Barbara Streisand sings for the cow-less, who couldn't attend because ticket prices are so expensive that only people with 3 or 4 cows can afford to attend. -You wear a ribbon that signifies that you care about cowless people, even though you really haven't done anything to help them at all.
CONSERVATIVE -You have two cows. -Your neighbor has none. -So?
SOCIALIST -You have two cows. -The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. -You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST -You have two cows. -The government seizes both and provides you with milk. -You wait in line for hours to get it. -It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. -You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. -The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE -You have two cows. -The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. -You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. -You are surprised when one cow drops dead. -You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses. -Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You go on strike because you want three cows. -You go to lunch and drink wine. -Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION -Yo u have two cows. -You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. -They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. -Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. -Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION -You have two cows but you don't know where they are. -While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. -You break for lunch. -Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION -You have two cows. -You have some vodka. -You count them and learn you have four cows. -You have some more vodka. -You count them again and learn you have eight cows. -The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION -You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. -You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. -Then you kill them and c laim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
IRAQI CORPORATION -You have two cows. -They go into hiding. -They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION -You have two bulls. -Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
CALIFORNIAN -You have a cow and a bull. -The bull is depressed. -It has spent its life living a lie. -It goes away for two weeks. -It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation. -You now have two cows. -One makes milk; the other doesn't. -You try to sell the transgender cow. -Its lawyer sues you for discrimination. -You lose in court. -You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages. -You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow. -You change your business to beef. -PETA pickets your farm. -Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway. -Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows." -Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for the children." -Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico. & gt; > >>-The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats. -You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations. -The cow starves to death. -The L.A.Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.
