I think the worst shutdown is always the first, when you don't know what its gonna be like. You don't understand the mentality your going to need when it happens for that first time. I used 600mg of Deca my first cycle, and I didn't want to fuc* for 12 weeks. As a 24 year old guy at the time, this was depressing. Now that I know it's coming, you can overcome it a bit better