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Why we so desperately need cyborgs

Nathan

New member
Now I know what you're thinking, "I wish my nipples made strange growling noises at me all day." And that's where cyborgs come in. Had we the technology, cyborg nipples could do all kinds of wonderful things that modern nipples simply cannot do. For instance, our nipples could be emitting a low frequency signal that only lobsters can hear and understand and they could be doing this all day, every day. I wouldn't even know where to begin in trying to list the myriad of possibilities an army of crustaceans presents. Nipples could also be adapted to emit a variety of pleasing scents or perfumes. One could have their nipples emitting fumes that smell akin to flowers, fruits, vanilla, dead babies, or whatever else might strike your fancy.
Nipples aren't the only parts of our bodies we might try to improve either. Far from it. Think of all the sphincter muscles in the human body that are currently not being used to cut through dense iron rods. Most of them can't even cut through aluminum.
Probably the most advantageous aspect of being a cyborg would be a heightened ability to tell time. You would be the guy everyone would go to if they wanted to know the time. I know it doesn't sound like much, but for people who have no arms it's a pretty big deal.
A world with cyborgs would truly be a wonderful place. Children's genitals could be removed and replaced with far more useful tools, such as compasses or gravy boats. Retarded people could be transformed into feces disposal units, thus allowing our sewer systems to transport more urine than ever before. The implications of having the ability to produce cyborgs are indeed far-reaching. While it remains difficult to predict the exact direction in which the technology would take humanity, I feel I can say with utmost confidence that the elderly would have no home in our cyborg utopia.
 
i would get my nipples replaced today
if possible...i want some that shoot
frickin lasers...is that too much to ask???

i swear, if my body was as good at
making muscle as it is mammary...:mad:
 
Can someone point me in the direction of the humor in this thread? This is some serious stuff. NAthan takes the time to address these issues and you all turn them into some type of joke.

I for one, wish Nathan would talk about Jesus more. And cuss a lot more often, as well.
 
beastboy said:
Can someone point me in the direction of the humor in this thread? This is some serious stuff. NAthan takes the time to address these issues and you all turn them into some type of joke.

I for one, wish Nathan would talk about Jesus more. And cuss a lot more often, as well.

Alright, I'll bring that fucker Jesus into more issues around here. Like, for example, on threads dealing with how to successfully pull off the child molester look and be worshipped for it.
 
LMAO. Man, that's some hilariousy crosswired shit. :elephant:

I feel I can say with utmost confidence that the elderly would have no home in our cyborg utopia.

Bill Hicks comes to the rescue once again:

You know. I had a great idea for the movies. No-one wants to fucking hear it, I don't know why. I was watching Terminator 2 and I'm thinking to myself, these are the most amazing stunts I have ever seen. A hundred million dollars it cost to make this film. How are they ever gonna top these stunts in a movie again? There's no way. Unless...

they start using terminally ill people...

[laughter]

Hear me out...

...as stuntmen in pictures.

Okay not the most popular idea ever, but I prefaced it with that. What you know, some of will probably think that's cruel, don't you? "Ooh cruel, terminally ill stuntpeople Bill. How cruel."

You know what I think what cruel is? Leaving your loved ones to die in some sterile hospital room surrounded by strangers. Fuck that! Put 'em in the movies! Whaaat? Do you want your grandmother dying like a little bird in some hospital room? Her translucent skin so thin you can see her last heartbeat work its way down her blue veins?

Or do you want her to meet Chuck Norris?



Why be so selfish as to deprive her of that thrill?

"Tom how come you dressed my grandmother up as a mugger?"

"Shut up and get off the set. Action! Push her towards Chuck."

Whurf. [Bill does a flying karate kick]

"Wow he kicked her head right off her body! Did you see that? Did you see my grammie? She's out of her misery. I just saw the greatest fucking movie of my life. Cool!"

Okay not the most popular idea ever. All I'm saying is people are dying every day, and movies are getting more and more boring.
 
Now, are we talking Robocop cyborgs? Or Terminator cyborgs?

Will there be midget cyborgs?

If so, will they be midget Robocop cyborgs, or midget Terminator cyborgs?
 
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