Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below Allen The Kid
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hey guys.. plz answer me... and plz give me some sort of a solution 
why parents beat
- Thread starter Allen The Kid
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FrankRizzo
New member
I would beat my kids if they were ugly, but with half of my genetics in em how in the hell could that be AT ALL possible??? Hmmmmmmm?
Cheap alcohol is another major factor.
Cheap alcohol is another major factor.
FrankRizzo
New member
Shit.....dude if you were serious I am gonna feel really bad over here.
A solution would be for the little kid getting his ass kicked to call the authorities and they will take his word for it .....especially if he has bruises. I cheer for cops the hardest when I see them coming to the aid of a beaten woman or child. It is hilarious to see an in shape cop fuckin with some fat wife beater. I love to see those guys get their comeupins
A solution would be for the little kid getting his ass kicked to call the authorities and they will take his word for it .....especially if he has bruises. I cheer for cops the hardest when I see them coming to the aid of a beaten woman or child. It is hilarious to see an in shape cop fuckin with some fat wife beater. I love to see those guys get their comeupins
Sassy69
New member
OMG - you asking why do parents beat their kids?? Thank god I have no experience in this area, but let me offer a few reasons that I've observed....
- they are scared of their inability to deal with confrontation, teaching of values correctly, their own emotions, etc. and the only thing they know how to do is lash out.
- this is how they were treated as kids and believe it is the "correct" way to administer authority.
- have no control of their own anger
- can't see forward enough to see that beating accomplishes nothing except negative reinforcement of actions
- were never able to establish enough respect from their children that fear is the only bit of power they can exert over their kids. To these people, when fear is the only power they either feel they have or they feel is the best sort of power to exert, they have already established a "us" vs "them" landscape and maybe dont' respect themselves enough as people so resort to fear. (Recall the bully at school - his power is the fear he places in other people - to him, he sees that as "respect". )
- dont' know how to talk to their kids and address the problem
- the kids are so out of control that they don't know what else to do. This is a tough situation that may just be the escalation of all the above situations where the kid is screaming for attention and the parents just missed the point, or the kid has gotten so involved in the "fast life" that they dont' respect anyone, including themselves anyway. This is a harder situation that I won't even attempt to address.
Solutions:
- You try to talk to the parent? Confront them and make them look at why they do it - -e.g. why do you just beat me? What does it accomplish? Does it just make you feel better? Do you think it addressed the problem? What exactly is the message you are trying to send to me?
- DOn't piss off the parent.
- Get out of the house as soon as you can.
- Consider what you are doing that might incite the situation.
I'm not a professional in this field, nor do I have any personal experience. But maybe from my "objective" observation point, it always seems to be the result of fear or inability by the parent to address the real problem, this is the way the parent was treated so the cycle continues, there is a lack of respect within the family or the kid just doesn't respect the parents anymore. Could also be a situation of only one parent or a tuff economic situation for the family where everyone is struggling and the expectations are putting stress on the different relationships in the family.
All I can do is hope that you get some good feedback, but also try to take some responsibility for the situation where YOU can. OFten you just can't change people or even have a reasonable conversation about the subject. Your best bet is to do everything you can to get out of the house and dependence on that/those parents.
- they are scared of their inability to deal with confrontation, teaching of values correctly, their own emotions, etc. and the only thing they know how to do is lash out.
- this is how they were treated as kids and believe it is the "correct" way to administer authority.
- have no control of their own anger
- can't see forward enough to see that beating accomplishes nothing except negative reinforcement of actions
- were never able to establish enough respect from their children that fear is the only bit of power they can exert over their kids. To these people, when fear is the only power they either feel they have or they feel is the best sort of power to exert, they have already established a "us" vs "them" landscape and maybe dont' respect themselves enough as people so resort to fear. (Recall the bully at school - his power is the fear he places in other people - to him, he sees that as "respect". )
- dont' know how to talk to their kids and address the problem
- the kids are so out of control that they don't know what else to do. This is a tough situation that may just be the escalation of all the above situations where the kid is screaming for attention and the parents just missed the point, or the kid has gotten so involved in the "fast life" that they dont' respect anyone, including themselves anyway. This is a harder situation that I won't even attempt to address.
Solutions:
- You try to talk to the parent? Confront them and make them look at why they do it - -e.g. why do you just beat me? What does it accomplish? Does it just make you feel better? Do you think it addressed the problem? What exactly is the message you are trying to send to me?
- DOn't piss off the parent.
- Get out of the house as soon as you can.
- Consider what you are doing that might incite the situation.
I'm not a professional in this field, nor do I have any personal experience. But maybe from my "objective" observation point, it always seems to be the result of fear or inability by the parent to address the real problem, this is the way the parent was treated so the cycle continues, there is a lack of respect within the family or the kid just doesn't respect the parents anymore. Could also be a situation of only one parent or a tuff economic situation for the family where everyone is struggling and the expectations are putting stress on the different relationships in the family.
All I can do is hope that you get some good feedback, but also try to take some responsibility for the situation where YOU can. OFten you just can't change people or even have a reasonable conversation about the subject. Your best bet is to do everything you can to get out of the house and dependence on that/those parents.
FrankRizzo
New member
Sassy is absolutely right. My old man was the physical, strict type of father. When I got the shit kicked out of me it didn't do anything but make me hate my father. Respect him? Shit, I knew all along that when I got hit, it was him venting anger and not "punishing" me. To this day I have little respect for my father because of it. All the physical abuse ever did was make me timid and shy in the presence of others.
As for trying not to piss off the parent, man, Sassy that is a tough one. All I ever did was walk on eggshells as a kid trying to keep away from the old man. Helluva childhood,let me tell ya. And you wonder why I abuse steroids???
As for trying not to piss off the parent, man, Sassy that is a tough one. All I ever did was walk on eggshells as a kid trying to keep away from the old man. Helluva childhood,let me tell ya. And you wonder why I abuse steroids???
I really can't say it better than Sassy or Frank but sometimes it's a chain of events.
In my family my father took his bad day out on my mother and my mother took out how he made her feel out on me. Unfortunately for me, my father was verbal and my mother was physical and verbal.
You need to talk to someone, someone that will believe you and someone that can provide a safe haven for you. You should not live you life in fear of being beaten, trust me, it does bad things. It changes who you are and your ability to trust people.
Tell us more about the situation.
In my family my father took his bad day out on my mother and my mother took out how he made her feel out on me. Unfortunately for me, my father was verbal and my mother was physical and verbal.
You need to talk to someone, someone that will believe you and someone that can provide a safe haven for you. You should not live you life in fear of being beaten, trust me, it does bad things. It changes who you are and your ability to trust people.
Tell us more about the situation.
Lao Tzu
New member
look up 'anger management'. perhaps the person doesn't see any other way to gain power or get their needs met. or they can't percieve themselves worthy of forgiveness and continue to beat as they are already gone.
i don't know if you are the attacker or the attackee, it doesn't really matter since you are looking to end the cycle.
i would look up anger management info on the internet. or child abuse/domestic violence. there is probably helpful info out there.
i don't know if you are the attacker or the attackee, it doesn't really matter since you are looking to end the cycle.
i would look up anger management info on the internet. or child abuse/domestic violence. there is probably helpful info out there.
gymtime
New member
I'm not a parent so take this for what it's worth. I have four neices and nephews who have provided me with an observational opinion only, but here it is. I think consistently beating your kids as normal punishment never works. It almost always represents a problem with the parents, not the kids.
But I also think, and flame away if you must, that physical punishment is sometimes necessary. There are some kids who simply don't respond to anything else. But again, it's only effective if used sparingly.
But I also think, and flame away if you must, that physical punishment is sometimes necessary. There are some kids who simply don't respond to anything else. But again, it's only effective if used sparingly.
Sassy69
New member
I think I agree with the statement that sometimes physical punishment is the only way that some kids get the hint. I dont' condone it, but I've watched enough Jerry Springer shows to know that there are people who are just beyond having reasonable conversations with. I'd like to think that these situations are the result of untreated chemical imbalances- this has to be the case for at least some because the parents don't appear to be the source of abuse - i.e. they seem to be just as lost as to how to respond to the kid as the kid does to respecting the parent. I don't think many people are just so fundamentally mean that they would beat their kids for no apparent reason - either they were treated that way or they, themselves are trying to deal w/ their own perceived inadequacies / lack of ability to be responsible / chemical imbalance, etc.
Not everyone who experiences beating is as far gone as a Jerry Springer show, but I think there are degrees of it that are traceable back to some cause because people have got to hit a point where the effort to beat someone on a regular basis has to be depressing and draining and not a chosen way of life.
In suggesting to just not piss off the parents, I totally understand that you can't spend your life tip-toeing around someone else for fear of upsetting them - but just at least to try to alleviate some of the tension that is obviously present anyway. At least give yourself enough "calm time" to be able to address the situation without constantly escalating emotions that ultimately lead to a disaster anyway.
It often seems a no-win situation - I think women often go thru the same thing in an abusive relationship and it just seems like a lost cause that could conceivably end up in death. If there is someone else in the family who is suffering this sort of abuse, maybe you can "team up" to show a strong front to the abuser.
Ah shit-- I really feel helpless in this situation - I've been very lucky in that my family is not like that at all, though we also generally suck at confrontation so we just don't. I'm sure we have other disfunctional problems as a result, but there is a great respect for each other. Its hard to make suggestions to someone when its not you ( me) who has to take the stand or run or whatever it takes to put an end to the situation. The only thing that I could say to you, Allen, is to make sure that you don't perpetuate this action to your own family when the time comes. Understand that there is probably an explanation for why your parents (I"m assuming you are the victim here, but if not, read the above and take it upon yourself to recognize that there is a reason for the action, that it is NOT acceptable, it doesn't achieve anything and ultimately just passes that behaviour to other kids who will also suffer.) do this. It isnt' right, and it doesn't mean you have to be forgiving of them. I think it just means that generally they aren't just evil people- they just don't know how to deal w/ their own issues and lashing out at someone in a weaker position is the easiest thing for them to do.
Not everyone who experiences beating is as far gone as a Jerry Springer show, but I think there are degrees of it that are traceable back to some cause because people have got to hit a point where the effort to beat someone on a regular basis has to be depressing and draining and not a chosen way of life.
In suggesting to just not piss off the parents, I totally understand that you can't spend your life tip-toeing around someone else for fear of upsetting them - but just at least to try to alleviate some of the tension that is obviously present anyway. At least give yourself enough "calm time" to be able to address the situation without constantly escalating emotions that ultimately lead to a disaster anyway.
It often seems a no-win situation - I think women often go thru the same thing in an abusive relationship and it just seems like a lost cause that could conceivably end up in death. If there is someone else in the family who is suffering this sort of abuse, maybe you can "team up" to show a strong front to the abuser.
Ah shit-- I really feel helpless in this situation - I've been very lucky in that my family is not like that at all, though we also generally suck at confrontation so we just don't. I'm sure we have other disfunctional problems as a result, but there is a great respect for each other. Its hard to make suggestions to someone when its not you ( me) who has to take the stand or run or whatever it takes to put an end to the situation. The only thing that I could say to you, Allen, is to make sure that you don't perpetuate this action to your own family when the time comes. Understand that there is probably an explanation for why your parents (I"m assuming you are the victim here, but if not, read the above and take it upon yourself to recognize that there is a reason for the action, that it is NOT acceptable, it doesn't achieve anything and ultimately just passes that behaviour to other kids who will also suffer.) do this. It isnt' right, and it doesn't mean you have to be forgiving of them. I think it just means that generally they aren't just evil people- they just don't know how to deal w/ their own issues and lashing out at someone in a weaker position is the easiest thing for them to do.
Emotional abuse is almost as bad as physical abuse.
People don't think how much hurt they can cause with
just a few hurtful words.
If you are in a situation where you are being abused, please talk to somebody. Whether it is a counselor at school, a teacher,
find someone and get some help.
Nobody has the right to abuse you, so please don't let them.
Take care.
People don't think how much hurt they can cause with
just a few hurtful words.
If you are in a situation where you are being abused, please talk to somebody. Whether it is a counselor at school, a teacher,
find someone and get some help.
Nobody has the right to abuse you, so please don't let them.
Take care.
Kryp2o
New member
satanic goatslayer
New member
Satanic Goatslayer tip #4,067:
When domestic abuse has got you down and out, look no further than the nearest knife. Plunge it into your sternum with gusto, and in no time flat you will be better off.
When domestic abuse has got you down and out, look no further than the nearest knife. Plunge it into your sternum with gusto, and in no time flat you will be better off.
i will add a few more...
Maybe the child was unwanted by one of the parents.
Maybe the father wanted a son and did get a daughter.
Maybe the parents are not in the position to raise kids. This could be financially, or mentally.
Maybe the father wants the son to be perfect, which is impossible.
Also it is always easier to be hard on another person (in this case the child) then being hard on yourself.
Maybe the child was unwanted by one of the parents.
Maybe the father wanted a son and did get a daughter.
Maybe the parents are not in the position to raise kids. This could be financially, or mentally.
Maybe the father wants the son to be perfect, which is impossible.
Also it is always easier to be hard on another person (in this case the child) then being hard on yourself.
FrankRizzo
New member
If this is a bullshit post, wel Allen, at least you spurred a good topic of conversation. It is still jacked that you don't come clean and let us know. I thought you were screwing aroun with tht first reply I gave, but then thought better of it.
That is the best thing I have learned from the whole ordeal. I was provided with the perfect example of NOT to treat a lady and my family. ( I may joke around and try to piss ladies off on here sometimes, but I would NEVER strike a woman. About half my posts are serious)
That is the best thing I have learned from the whole ordeal. I was provided with the perfect example of NOT to treat a lady and my family. ( I may joke around and try to piss ladies off on here sometimes, but I would NEVER strike a woman. About half my posts are serious)
Taps
New member
I was smacked around and verbally abused by my step-dad when I was a kid, and one of the few regrets I have in life is not beating that piece of shit into the ground once I was big enough to do some real damage. It didn't make me respect him, and it didn't make me obdiant. It made me hate him and want to kill him.
It's strange, I'm 25 now...haven't seen him in almost 4 years, but I'm still afraid of him. Shit, I weighed more than he did by the time I was 16 or so, but I was too intimidated to stand up for myself.
At any rate (and it took me a few years to figure this out), I think that abuse is a form of release. When you're really, really mad...and you take it out on an easy target, it's almost a sexual rush--it makes you feel good. Or maybe people who do this are just sadistic fucks. Probably a bit of both.
Oddly enough, my step-dad is one of the reasons I'm so easy going and peaceful today. I _hate_ violence and abuse...especially when they're inflicted on someone who can't defend his/her self. I'd eat a bullet before I hurt someone I cared about.
It really saddens me to read a lot of these posts. So many parents hurt thier kids, not only with violence, but with words. I mean, my God, what the hell are these people doing with children in the first place?!
It's strange, I'm 25 now...haven't seen him in almost 4 years, but I'm still afraid of him. Shit, I weighed more than he did by the time I was 16 or so, but I was too intimidated to stand up for myself.
At any rate (and it took me a few years to figure this out), I think that abuse is a form of release. When you're really, really mad...and you take it out on an easy target, it's almost a sexual rush--it makes you feel good. Or maybe people who do this are just sadistic fucks. Probably a bit of both.
Oddly enough, my step-dad is one of the reasons I'm so easy going and peaceful today. I _hate_ violence and abuse...especially when they're inflicted on someone who can't defend his/her self. I'd eat a bullet before I hurt someone I cared about.
It really saddens me to read a lot of these posts. So many parents hurt thier kids, not only with violence, but with words. I mean, my God, what the hell are these people doing with children in the first place?!
Allen The Kid
New member
thanks for all your advice, espcially u sassy. oh and by the way my parents dont beat me up, my frineds parents beat her up. thats why im asking for some advice... so i would know wat to tell her, and Kryp2o, i am 15 years old, the reason it says 21 is becouse i thought that if ur under the age of 18 u wouldnt be able to sign up for elitefotness.com, so i lied my age.
Allen The Kid
New member
something that really makes me sad is that she is such a beautifull girl, but cuz her gay parents she has a very low selfsteem... she is doing all this kinds of bad drugs that r killing her... i feel so guilty, cuz i dont know wat to do... i really like her, and i want her to be happy, i wish we could trade places, so she would have a better life, cuz she really deservs it
Allen The Kid
New member
i feel like shit, i feel like crying..i dont know... i feel like killing her gay parents... im just feeling like shit.. and i wish i was dead
Allen The Kid
New member
in the past, she used to cut her self, she said that made her feel better, she said that it let all her anger, and sadness out by cutting her self, and doing bad drugs i really love this girl, and i want to help her
i really love this girl, and i want to help her Allen The Kid
New member
thank u daised
Allen,
About two years ago I dated a girl who had been through some similar shit.
At the time I knew her she was 23. She finished high school and got married at 18. She had a baby soon after and then got divorced at 21.
her husband was beating her so she finally got out. Her father used to beat her when she was a kid. No sexual abuse, but from what her siblings tell me, he beat her pretty bad.
She was one of many children, in a poor southern family, with an alcoholic father. He beat all the kids, but of the children, she was the smartest one. Smarter kids often get it worse because they can cause mental vexation in parents, who tthen take out the frustration on the kid.
My point is that he beat the crap out of her. It is typical, when this happens to girls, that they go on to date (and marry) abusive guys. This is due to the low self-esteem you mentioned, and because that is how they expect guys to treat them. (Father = male role model for kids, right?)
Anyway, when I met this girl she had all kinds of problems. She was addicted to cocaine and prescription pain killers. She also had a 5 year old son. The thing is, the more I got to know her, the more I realized that underneath all the shit, there was this beautiful and intelligent person. The thing is, that person was afriad to come out because she'd always been greeted by rejection.
I tried and tried to get to see more of the person I loved, not the drug addict. I moved in with her, took care of her kid, ultimately even sent her to rehab at a cost of several thousand dollars. While she was away, I took care of her son, helped him with school, etc. We got along great - he responded so well. Still love that kid.
She couldn't accept the fact that I really wanted to be with her. She said things like "I don't deserve you" and "I am afraid I will disappoint you" and "why do you want a single Mom from *******, when you could have anyone you want?"
Meanwhile I was fighting with her every day to show her that the person she truly is, is wonderful and deserving of a good guy (like me for example...haha).
After over a year of battling these demons, I had to go. She never kicked the dugs, and the emotional pain was unbelievable. There was nothing more I could do. I moved to the rural south to be there, paid for rehab, was the best parent her son will ever have.
If there were someone in her life when she was 15 to show her all these things that I showed her at 23, she'd be different. I'd have married her.
Instead, she is still into drugs, starting to lose some of her attractiveness (only 25 but looking older), and engaged to some fucking loser that will probably beat her too. She had a miscarriage after that - I wonder if she can even have babies anymore.
My point is - if you or someone like you doesn;t do anything, the result will be the same. A brilliant light will go out before it is given a chance to shine.
About two years ago I dated a girl who had been through some similar shit.
At the time I knew her she was 23. She finished high school and got married at 18. She had a baby soon after and then got divorced at 21.
her husband was beating her so she finally got out. Her father used to beat her when she was a kid. No sexual abuse, but from what her siblings tell me, he beat her pretty bad.
She was one of many children, in a poor southern family, with an alcoholic father. He beat all the kids, but of the children, she was the smartest one. Smarter kids often get it worse because they can cause mental vexation in parents, who tthen take out the frustration on the kid.
My point is that he beat the crap out of her. It is typical, when this happens to girls, that they go on to date (and marry) abusive guys. This is due to the low self-esteem you mentioned, and because that is how they expect guys to treat them. (Father = male role model for kids, right?)
Anyway, when I met this girl she had all kinds of problems. She was addicted to cocaine and prescription pain killers. She also had a 5 year old son. The thing is, the more I got to know her, the more I realized that underneath all the shit, there was this beautiful and intelligent person. The thing is, that person was afriad to come out because she'd always been greeted by rejection.
I tried and tried to get to see more of the person I loved, not the drug addict. I moved in with her, took care of her kid, ultimately even sent her to rehab at a cost of several thousand dollars. While she was away, I took care of her son, helped him with school, etc. We got along great - he responded so well. Still love that kid.
She couldn't accept the fact that I really wanted to be with her. She said things like "I don't deserve you" and "I am afraid I will disappoint you" and "why do you want a single Mom from *******, when you could have anyone you want?"
Meanwhile I was fighting with her every day to show her that the person she truly is, is wonderful and deserving of a good guy (like me for example...haha).
After over a year of battling these demons, I had to go. She never kicked the dugs, and the emotional pain was unbelievable. There was nothing more I could do. I moved to the rural south to be there, paid for rehab, was the best parent her son will ever have.
If there were someone in her life when she was 15 to show her all these things that I showed her at 23, she'd be different. I'd have married her.
Instead, she is still into drugs, starting to lose some of her attractiveness (only 25 but looking older), and engaged to some fucking loser that will probably beat her too. She had a miscarriage after that - I wonder if she can even have babies anymore.
My point is - if you or someone like you doesn;t do anything, the result will be the same. A brilliant light will go out before it is given a chance to shine.
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Allen The Kid
New member
i did, theres no message
Sassy69
New member
Hey Allen - my heart goes out to you and your friend- granted that 15 is an awfully young age to even be looking at the shit on this board -- but its an absolute crime for this girl's parents to be pulling this shit on her.
It seems like when a man is beating on his son, it definitely has something to do with the father's own feelings of inadequacy & masculinity - but jeezus christ, to be beating on a girl is just fucking cowardly. Its hard enough dealing w/ the pressures and confusion of being that age - this poor girl doesn't even get to be a kid. She has to deal w/ the issues that her parents can't deal with. The other fucked up thing, is that statistically, she has a very strong chance of spending the rest of her life, when she finally gets free of these fucks, seeking out the same sort of relationship because she may not feel herself worthy of anything better.
Goddam I feel like ripping out some testicles right now. These parents have lost their right to appear as authority figures in society.
I would encourage your friend to go talk to someone at school - go with her if you have to. Find out what rights she has as a minor. This is such a sad situation because in the end no one really wins. The important thing for her to understand is that its not her fault - in the same way that she has cut herself in the past maybe as a way of "controlling" something - it s an outlet for a feeling she doesn't know what to do with. The same could be said for her parents - they lash out at her because they dont' know the appropriate way to deal with their own issues. Your friend MUST regain her self-confidence and have self-respect so that she can continue. Armed with these, she will survive. Without them, she may well be lost in her life forever.
Goddam I'm so pissed right now.
Please have faith & take care - both of you. I'll be praying for u.
It seems like when a man is beating on his son, it definitely has something to do with the father's own feelings of inadequacy & masculinity - but jeezus christ, to be beating on a girl is just fucking cowardly. Its hard enough dealing w/ the pressures and confusion of being that age - this poor girl doesn't even get to be a kid. She has to deal w/ the issues that her parents can't deal with. The other fucked up thing, is that statistically, she has a very strong chance of spending the rest of her life, when she finally gets free of these fucks, seeking out the same sort of relationship because she may not feel herself worthy of anything better.
Goddam I feel like ripping out some testicles right now. These parents have lost their right to appear as authority figures in society.
I would encourage your friend to go talk to someone at school - go with her if you have to. Find out what rights she has as a minor. This is such a sad situation because in the end no one really wins. The important thing for her to understand is that its not her fault - in the same way that she has cut herself in the past maybe as a way of "controlling" something - it s an outlet for a feeling she doesn't know what to do with. The same could be said for her parents - they lash out at her because they dont' know the appropriate way to deal with their own issues. Your friend MUST regain her self-confidence and have self-respect so that she can continue. Armed with these, she will survive. Without them, she may well be lost in her life forever.
Goddam I'm so pissed right now.
Please have faith & take care - both of you. I'll be praying for u.
Allen The Kid
New member
thank you sassy, your such a kind person. she told me that she has tryed telling others about it, like the police, but since she doesnt get bruises they dont believe her, and cant do anything about it. and when her dad finds out about her telling the police, he really gets mad.
Allen The Kid
New member
by the way, dont think that shes one of does bad girls that need to be punished, shes such a sweet girl, i love her with all my heart she does everything around her house, she cleans cooks etc while her parents do nothing and sit around the house getting drunk.. i dont get it why her gay dad would want to beat her, and her mom would laugh at her getting beat
she does everything around her house, she cleans cooks etc while her parents do nothing and sit around the house getting drunk.. i dont get it why her gay dad would want to beat her, and her mom would laugh at her getting beat
Sassy69
New member
That really sucks. She should record stuff all the time -like keep a diary / record of what happens w/ dates & times. When there are bruises or something, she should try to get pix.
Its really hard when it comes down to her word against others. She should try to talk to a counselor at school or something. At least get some idea of what rights she has and what she can do if she doesn't have all the bruising, etc. I love how our system basically makes you wait until something catastrophic happens before anyone will do anything.
If its really coming down to her vs. them, she might want to keep an eye out for opportunities to call the authorities on her parents when they are drunk -- any valid reason to get the cops involved.
Its really hard when it comes down to her word against others. She should try to talk to a counselor at school or something. At least get some idea of what rights she has and what she can do if she doesn't have all the bruising, etc. I love how our system basically makes you wait until something catastrophic happens before anyone will do anything.
If its really coming down to her vs. them, she might want to keep an eye out for opportunities to call the authorities on her parents when they are drunk -- any valid reason to get the cops involved.
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Allen,
Read my post above.
Read my post above.
Lao Tzu
New member
hmmm. kids who get abused have a tendency to grow up and either become abusive themselves or become victims of abuse.
i have 2 female friends who were physically/emotionally/sexually abused as kids. they both grew up and entered physically/emotionally/sexually abusive relationships. well, one. the other stopped dating men like that a few years ago.
anyway, this may be fucking with her mind, making her think this (emotional & physical abuse) is normal, fair and necessary to feel like a whole person. that could fuck up her life for a long time. i don't think all peopel in abusive childhoods grow up to be abusive/abused. but statistically, the rates are alot higher.
i have 2 female friends who were physically/emotionally/sexually abused as kids. they both grew up and entered physically/emotionally/sexually abusive relationships. well, one. the other stopped dating men like that a few years ago.
anyway, this may be fucking with her mind, making her think this (emotional & physical abuse) is normal, fair and necessary to feel like a whole person. that could fuck up her life for a long time. i don't think all peopel in abusive childhoods grow up to be abusive/abused. but statistically, the rates are alot higher.
Allen The Kid
New member
thanks matt for ur post. i dont want that to happen to her im trying to do my best to help her, i really care about her.
im trying to do my best to help her, i really care about her.
Kryp2o
New member
Allen The Kid said:
You have my apologies.
There's been enough attempts on this board from idiots in the past who post bogus shit about serious situations like this just to see what kind of a rise they can get out of everyone. The sad part is the one's who have done this have lived the charmed life and would not have a clue as to what it is like to be in this kind of situation.
Allen The Kid
New member
Kryp2o - i understand what u mean. i only wish this wasnt happening.. but it is, and im really lost and dont know what to do im going to sleep right now, its the only thing that makes me forget about all these sad shit thats happening on earth
im going to sleep right now, its the only thing that makes me forget about all these sad shit thats happening on earth
Please try and get her some help.
Find someone you and her can talk to.
The best thing you can do for her, is to get her
out of that situation.
There is no easy answer as to why a parent abuses their
child. She needs to understand though, that it is not her
fault. Make sure you keep telling her that. Too many people
blame themselves for the abuse they receive.
Good luck.
Find someone you and her can talk to.
The best thing you can do for her, is to get her
out of that situation.
There is no easy answer as to why a parent abuses their
child. She needs to understand though, that it is not her
fault. Make sure you keep telling her that. Too many people
blame themselves for the abuse they receive.
Good luck.
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