Why our Personal Savior was a no-show for 2000

[JohnnyO]

Ok, He has been planning his return for 2000 years now, and while he is not without fabulous special effects at his disposal, I think even he would concede that four horsemen and a whore (whether from Babylon or Reno) on New Year's Eve could never have competed with what the French did to the Eiffel Tower.

Besides, everyone was expecting him at the end of 1999 and you know deities are notorious for defying mortal expectation. If Jesus wanted to simply do what is utterly predictable, he would star in a filthy cartoon on Comedy Central.

 

[WODIN]

Little J? you having some issues with Big J?

 

[curling]

Johnny, The reason he didn't come back then is because that is when everyone expected him. He will come when you least expect it. So be prepared man eternanity is along time.

 

[JohnnyO]

Little J? you having some issues with Big J?

Yeah, he ruined my apocalyptic covered-dish party.

 

[WODIN]

Yeah, he ruined my apocalyptic covered-dish party.

What do you serve at such and event?

LMAO. You have bodies from a group suicide that your still trying to get rid of dont you?

 

[JohnnyO]

Well since I don't cook well I was counting on Chilian sea bass with some french bread .. and perhaps some nicely converted Malbec or perhaps Bollinger, but we were stuck drinking Evian all night.

However my 7 layer (one for each seal) chocolate decadence cake went over well.

 

[Crazier]

Besides, everyone was expecting him at the end of 1999 and you know deities are notorious for defying mortal expectation. If Jesus wanted to simply do what is utterly predictable, he would star in a filthy cartoon on Comedy Central.

This is a math question answered incorrectly.

We predicted he would come back at the end of the millenium.

The end, not the beginning of the year of the millenium.

Because they did not start in the year 0, the end of 2001 is the actual end of the millenium.

Coincidentaly, there is a holy war taking place... with 27 days left in the millenium... and talks of nucleur weapons...

I expect his return shortly.
--

 

[curling]

Crazier,

Man, there is some scary stuff going on now. And I know the muslim religion is going to play a big role in Armegeddon. Also those people(radical muslims) are know to chop off heads as an execution style and guess what the Bible says what happens to people that don't take the mark of the beast? That's right beheading.

I guess I won't get another wakeboarding season in.

 

[Crazier]

Well, where did everybody go?
--

 

[gymtime]

Curling, I wouldn't hock that wakeboard quite yet. You crazy kids worry too much.

 

[Crazier]

Curling, I wouldn't hock that wakeboard quite yet. You crazy kids worry too much.

Sorry Pops... old knowledgable one, let me ask you: You don't find this a wee bit odd?

Because they did not start in the year 0, the end of 2001 is the actual end of the millenium.

Coincidentaly, there is a holy war taking place... with 27 days left in the millenium... and talks of nucleur weapons...

Now go whip up that furnace, get your hands nice and warm so your arthritis doesn't bother you and write me back.
--

 

[gymtime]

Sorry Pops... old knowledgable one, let me ask you: You don't find this a wee bit odd?

Because they did not start in the year 0, the end of 2001 is the actual end of the millenium.

Coincidentaly, there is a holy war taking place... with 27 days left in the millenium... and talks of nucleur weapons...

Now go whip up that furnace, get your hands nice and warm so your arthritis doesn't bother you and write me back.
--

Have a seat now sonny while I talk down to you.

First of all, if it weren't for TV, you wouldn't even be aware of this so-called "holy war." When I see turbans and antiquated weapons running around outside my door, then I'll start to worry....maybe.

Secondly, I seriously doubt the apocalypse is going to happen so close to Christ's birthday, or at the exact end of a millenium.

So, in other words, you're not getting out of Christmas this year.

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

Stan: Here we are Jesus, South Park Mall. Who are you looking for?
Jesus: Him!
Santa: Ho ho ho. We meet again, Jesus.
Jesus: You have blemished the meaning of Christmas for the last time, Kringle.
Santa: I bring happiness and love to children all over the world.
Jesus: Christmas is for celebrating my birth.
Santa: Christmas is for giving.
Jesus: I'm here to put an end to your blasphemy.
Santa: This time we finish it. [stands] There can be only one.
Stan: Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.

 

[Crazier]

Have a seat now sonny while I talk down to you.

First of all, if it weren't for TV, you wouldn't even be aware of this so-called "holy war." When I see turbans and antiquated weapons running around outside my door, then I'll start to worry....maybe.

First of all, you are right. Without TV you and I wouldn't know what is going on. Just some fucked up shit, in a land far far away.
But, even if you had no clue what was going on, that doesn't mean that some turban isn't going to nuke your ass. Just because we know about it, doesn't make it any less of a threat. It doesn't change the fact that some turban are spreading anthrax around the U.S.., flying planes into our buildings, calling a holy war on us, and possibly plotting a mass genocide with a bigass nuke right now.

You won't see turbans running outside your door gymtime. Enough of them can't get here. That's why they fly planes into our buildings, and spread viruses around instead. As we've seen 1 person can kill many, many people if they have the means.

And although people were freaking out last year about the end of the millenium, they aren't this year, because they think it is over.
But, in truth, it's not. It is over in 27 days. Yet, we hear nothing about that. And as curling said, he will come when people don't expect him. Even though there are soooooooo many signs.

I'm not saying 27 days is what we have left... but this problem in the Middle East... what will the cure for all of it be? The Pali's and Israeli's... they won't just stop fighting. More and more countries are getting involved... soon more will. And definately, some of these countries I speak of have nuclear capability. All it takes is one country to pass the line, then a domino effect would occur...
the sky would be torched red, and in time, we'd all be dead, and there would be, in many thousands and thousands of years, a (nuclear) new clear world free of all the fighting and hatred that mankind generated from generation to generation for all of man's time.

This is a good thing. The righteous shall not worry.
--

 

[JohnnyO]

Well, around the 8th century it became common to start counting the years from Christ's birth, however Johannes Kepler did prove that the ancient monks had an error in the math, and the generally assumed date of Christ's birth is 4 BC.

So if those 4 horseman and the whore (of Babylon, not Reno NV) were going to visit 2000 years after Christ birth, it would have been done 4 years ago.

 

[68GT350]

Well since I don't cook well I was counting on Chilian sea bass with some french bread .. and perhaps some nicely converted Malbec or perhaps Bollinger, but we were stuck drinking Evian all night.

However my 7 layer (one for each seal) chocolate decadence cake went over well.

You are SOOOOO gay, dude.

 

[JohnnyO]

Hey! I didn't invent the loaves (of bread) and fish diet! And I figured if you start with high quality water, you'll get high quality wine. I imagine if He converted tap water you'll get Mad Dog 2020 or Boonesfarm.

 

[gymtime]

First of all, you are right. Without TV you and I wouldn't know what is going on. Just some fucked up shit, in a land far far away.
But, even if you had no clue what was going on, that doesn't mean that some turban isn't going to nuke your ass. Just because we know about it, doesn't make it any less of a threat. It doesn't change the fact that some turban are spreading anthrax around the U.S.., flying planes into our buildings, calling a holy war on us, and possibly plotting a mass genocide with a bigass nuke right now.

You won't see turbans running outside your door gymtime. Enough of them can't get here. That's why they fly planes into our buildings, and spread viruses around instead. As we've seen 1 person can kill many, many people if they have the means.

And although people were freaking out last year about the end of the millenium, they aren't this year, because they think it is over.
But, in truth, it's not. It is over in 27 days. Yet, we hear nothing about that. And as curling said, he will come when people don't expect him. Even though there are soooooooo many signs.

I'm not saying 27 days is what we have left... but this problem in the Middle East... what will the cure for all of it be? The Pali's and Israeli's... they won't just stop fighting. More and more countries are getting involved... soon more will. And definately, some of these countries I speak of have nuclear capability. All it takes is one country to pass the line, then a domino effect would occur...
the sky would be torched red, and in time, we'd all be dead, and there would be, in many thousands and thousands of years, a (nuclear) new clear world free of all the fighting and hatred that mankind generated from generation to generation for all of man's time.

This is a good thing. The righteous shall not worry.
--

You overestimate the bad guys young man. Spreading anthrax throughought the US? My last count was 17 infections and five deaths. . . . . . . . out of 280 million of us! More people died in car accidents today.

Yes, they were able to kill a good number of our people and are rumored to have a crude nuclear capability. But genocide? Mass destruction? Every country in the middle east couldn't accomplish that even if they wanted to. If anyone destroys the world by January, it will be the US.

I do not mean to belittle the conflict in the middle east. I see it getting worse before it gets better. I'm just not ready to sing that REM song quite yet.

 

[68GT350]

You overestimate the bad guys young man. Spreading anthrax throughought the US? My last count was 17 infections and five deaths. . . . . . . . out of 280 million of us! More people died in car accidents today.

Yes, they were able to kill a good number of our people and are rumored to have a crude nuclear capability. But genocide? Mass destruction? Every country in the middle east couldn't accomplish that even if they wanted to. If anyone destroys the world by January, it will be the US.

I do not mean to belittle the conflict in the middle east. I see it getting worse before it gets better. I'm just not ready to sing that REM song quite yet.

Speak the truth, brother! Amen.

 

[curling]

Don't forget about China gymtime. They aren't exactly neighborly if you know what I mean. And Revelations does talk about a 100 million man army. Guess how many men in the army the Chinese boast about 100 million. Pretty big coincidence huh? Also in Revelation the Whore( Babylon) is destroyed in one hour. Sound like how long a nuclear war would take huh? Just some things for you to think about. Btw how old are you? I think I am older than you.

 

[saint808]

maybe he came back and thought we weren't worth saving... then just went back to heaven. as a society we do kinda suck.