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Why get married if you end up divorced?
- Thread starter Falklands
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covergrl80
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People never know what is in there future, it is a chance you have to take. Life is all about learning. Some lessons are harder then others.
Longhorn85
New member
Most people think a solid marriage and family is worth taking a risk. Unfortunately it doesn't always work out.
I also think people aren't willing to sacrifice and commit, or don't realize what it takes prior to marriage. It's too easy to get divorced.
I also think people aren't willing to sacrifice and commit, or don't realize what it takes prior to marriage. It's too easy to get divorced.
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alien amp pharm
Guest
I agree with killah.
People think there is a fairytale and that love will make them happy forever.
In reality there is no fairytale and no happy marriages. That only happens in books and movies.
Love can kiss my tight, pale ass!
People think there is a fairytale and that love will make them happy forever.
In reality there is no fairytale and no happy marriages. That only happens in books and movies.
Love can kiss my tight, pale ass!
Lots of hostility in this thread.
I don't think anyone gets married with plans of divorce months later.. sure it happens.
Most marriages end because they decide to marry to young... having not yet experienced life, nor matured. It seems like the thing to 'do' esp when all your friends are doing it. And then there are other reasons for divorce... so many other reasons.
You don't know someone until you live with them 24/7
Most marriages end because they decide to marry to young... having not yet experienced life, nor matured. It seems like the thing to 'do' esp when all your friends are doing it. And then there are other reasons for divorce... so many other reasons.
You don't know someone until you live with them 24/7
A
alien amp pharm
Guest
Erzulie said:
What about if you dream about them 24/7?
If so, then you should know me very well.
A
alien amp pharm
Guest
Erzulie said:nightmares don't count sweets
Does Mr. Huge Penis scare you?
I'll keep him tucked away in my pants don't worry sweetie.
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alien amp pharm
Guest
Erzulie said:
Tis better in the pants rather than in the anus like GoldenDelocious does.
GoldenDelicious
New member
bro youre flat out fitting your fat arse in your pants, let alone jamming me in therealien amp pharm said:
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alien amp pharm
Guest
GoldenDelicious said:
I had to read that twice before I got it. Good one!
Falklands said:
I've never understood that stuff....too crazy.
But then I still don't understand why men act one way or feed you a bunch of bullshit lines to get you to start a relationship with them only to "change" six months down the road....gets so old when you pride yourself in being open and upfront from the go.
There are some good ones left though.
MILF69
New member
I ask the same question. I know people who say there are benefits to marriage...what, what are they? A tax break, someone to do the laundry for you? I agree that a marriage takes work and you don't know someone fully until you live with them 24/7, but to marry someone out of obligation, like you owe it to them because society tells you it's the right thing to do or you've been with the person for so long you might as well, I think that's total bullshit. In the long run it wont work...you'll cheat or they will cheat, it gets boring. People who marry to please the other person will never be satisfied in a relationship like that...NEVER...now matter how great the sex or how convenient having the other person there is!
I have an uncle, he's like my father, who's been married three times and now he'll never get married again. He's been with his current girlfriend for nine years now and they have never gotten married, they both brought a kid into the relationship, went through an adjustment period, and now couldn't be happier. No papers, no strings, no pressures, they do what they want and have a great relationship. I also don't believe that two people have to have a piece of paper to be a family, meanng if one person or both have a child from a previous marriage. If they are together and love eachother, that shows the kids they are commited and the kids feel safe. You don't need a piece of paper for that.
Just my thought...MILF OUT!!
I have an uncle, he's like my father, who's been married three times and now he'll never get married again. He's been with his current girlfriend for nine years now and they have never gotten married, they both brought a kid into the relationship, went through an adjustment period, and now couldn't be happier. No papers, no strings, no pressures, they do what they want and have a great relationship. I also don't believe that two people have to have a piece of paper to be a family, meanng if one person or both have a child from a previous marriage. If they are together and love eachother, that shows the kids they are commited and the kids feel safe. You don't need a piece of paper for that.
Just my thought...MILF OUT!!
GoldenDelicious
New member
no. just because a lot of guys have been there already doesnt mean its any goodErzulie said:you want in don't ya?
EnderJE said:
The problem is that people apply this belief to their relationships as well. I think vinylgroover said it best when he referred to the "romanticism" of relationships. I'm sorry, but that you don't know someone until you are with them 24/7 . . . I don't understand that either. When I spend a day or weekend with someone, the person I am isn't on vacation so things can be fairytale sweet, what you see is what you get. Yes, that is what I look like in the morning. Yes, I'm clumsy and trip up. Yes, I can be a bit too quiet. Yes, once a month I will cry for no apparent reason and I will be pissed at something you said. Yes, I need a nap in the afternoon. . . etc., etc., etc. While you are dating, during those months & years, you should be up front and honest. It should be as raw as possible. You should discuss expectations, morals, beliefs. If it doesn't work out, if you find out months or years down the line, he isn't the one . . . then so be it.
The likelihood of surprises should be extremely low by the time you get married.
A
alien amp pharm
Guest
EnderJE said:
You obviously married a guy.
EnderJE said:
I understand people change and grow. A marriage/relationship isn't suppose to remain stagnant. Hopefully, that person still wants the relationship/marriage to work and finds a way to involve the relationship in that growth process (if that makes sense). There are certain things that don't change. Will I be the same woman at 30? 35? No. But, my morals, beliefs won't change.
MILF69
New member
nycgirl said:
Well said!!! I agree 100%. This is who I am...if you don't like it fuck you..bye bye! And your right if your married and it doesn't work out there are reasons why and you are not meant to be with that person. I'm also a firm believer that this is my life, I live it, I need to be happy and do what is best for me, and that means hurting people sometimes.
awittyusername
New member
EnderJE said:
Did your fairytale entail your mother in law living with you, and you locking yourself in your den to post on a steriod site?
Actually, yes. All that was part of the master plan. I've thought it all out and planned it all out.awittyusername said:
The idea is that at 50, I'm kid free (because they would of moved on), living some place warm, and living with a girl who would be born just about.....NOW!
Seriously, it all was part of the plan. Some days are better then others, but it was all planned.
Before I forget, "hi!".
awittyusername
New member
EnderJE said:Actually, yes. All that was part of the master plan. I've thought it all out and planned it all out.
The idea is that at 50, I'm kid free (because they would of moved on), living some place warm, and living with a girl who would be born just about.....NOW!
Seriously, it all was part of the plan. Some days are better then others, but it was all planned.
Before I forget, "hi!".
HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, of course I was j/k
The Bigdawg
New member
EnderJE said:
Oh lord no!!!!!!
The Bigdawg
New member
Falklands said:
I don't know of a single person who ever thought divorce would happen when they got married. I know I waited as I truly only wanted to get married once.
Will that happen, I truly wish we both knew.
MILF69 said:O.k. back on the subject...Are we meant to be with one person forever? Is that really human nature? Based on current marriages and people I know...apparently not...I'll never marry again.
I honestly believe that we are meant to be with one person forever.
MILF69
New member
The Bigdawg said:
I don' think antbody ever knows...what if you marry someone and a couple years later you find someone else who is everything you've ever wanted. When you met your SO you thought that person was everything but now there is this new person...then what? That's what I mean...are we meant to be with one person?
MILF69 said:I don' think antbody ever knows...what if you marry someone and a couple years later you find someone else who is everything you've ever wanted. When you met your SO you thought that person was everything but now there is this new person...then what? That's what I mean...are we meant to be with one person?
If such a thing happens than I must say you have to be out 'LOOKING'
awittyusername
New member
Erzulie said:
Don't blame it on women...Its not their fault. It is instinct for them to keep looking for the Alpha Male. (thats me BTW)
PBR
New member
not all of "us" have the same journey. some people in this life have more than one soulmate that crosses their path. each person that comes into our lives, comes for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. those are the choices/catagories, there are no more. i will say this, "Love" is the only thing in our lives that is not temporary...even if we choose not to be or stay with someone, a true love never goes away. it stays in the heart and soul.MILF69 said:I don' think antbody ever knows...what if you marry someone and a couple years later you find someone else who is everything you've ever wanted. When you met your SO you thought that person was everything but now there is this new person...then what? That's what I mean...are we meant to be with one person?
The Bigdawg
New member
Erzulie said:
Yea I agree with you. Things don't just happen. If you find someone else it is because you allowed yourself to become available.
IMO a lot of people get married with the attitude that: A. They can change their partner to the way they want. & B. Every thing has to be MY way.
In our instant gratification society, people are not geared to working out problems, compromise, & selflessness. Kids are so spoiled, getting what they want, giving parents attitude without repercussions, etc., they cannot handle adult relationships & conflict.
In our instant gratification society, people are not geared to working out problems, compromise, & selflessness. Kids are so spoiled, getting what they want, giving parents attitude without repercussions, etc., they cannot handle adult relationships & conflict.
The Bigdawg
New member
EnderJE said:
Still you are always in control if something happens or not.
The Bigdawg
New member
EnderJE said:
So very true!
P.S. no matter what Mrs. BD says, your kids aren't coming near mine. So stop going behind my back to set it up or I will head into the city to hurt you
The Bigdawg
New member
EnderJE said:
LOL, I thought you posted this much from work as well.
I am not at home, I am at an internet place!! Gotta get me internet hookup at the place I am staying. It will be much cheaper.
MILF69 said:Yeah well I thought a was living a fairytail at one point but I got fucked!!! And not in a good way. Yes I'm bitter!
Everyone gets fucked at least once. Actually, looking back, I'm glad I went through my share of drama. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it made me stronger.
How can someone expect anyone to love them and want to build something with them, when they are still bitter and holding onto the past?
Hindgod, I agree with you 100%
The Bigdawg
New member
EnderJE said:
she saw pics of your kids and said they were cute!!
awittyusername said:
honestly I think thats bullshit
I was with my x for 11 years, and not a damn thought came into my mind to 'look' Our seperation/divorce was not due to what was better, blah blah
You will always find some bullshit artist that will convince you that they can do better.. blah fucking blah
I was very devoted to my husband, Never even looked at another man in lust. I was completly content.
If you have that particular mindset going into a relationship then you set yourself up for destrustion and failure. NO relationship will ever work if you're always peering over the fence to check out the greener grass. You will then end up lonely and miserable
Longhorn85
New member
MILF69 said:I don' think antbody ever knows...what if you marry someone and a couple years later you find someone else who is everything you've ever wanted. When you met your SO you thought that person was everything but now there is this new person...then what? That's what I mean...are we meant to be with one person?
No one is going to be "everything you wanted". If this is what you expect you're doomed to failure.
I don't think Awitty was implying that women can't be faithful (I also think he's generalizing again). But,I do agree that women prefer an alpha male. I can only speak for myself, but I could never be with a man that needed to be taken care of and/or was weak, I'm not his mother. I have a strong personality, and I need someone just as strong. I need someone that will challenge me. There are Alpha males and there are Omega males. I would walk all over an Omega male (in fact, I have at one time in my life & got bored).
I agree. My wife and I have changed over the past 2 decades, but the trick is, to keep each other involved, comunicate, & work at it.EnderJE said:
There were times I had to convince myself that I loved her, & I'm sure she had to do the same. But after working & playing for the last 23 yrs, I still can't wait to get home to her at night.
feisty11975
New member
ok...I did not read all of the posts but heres my opinion!!!
I don't think that anyone gets married to get divorced. People sometimes just grow apart in time. In my case, I was married too damn young. Just really did not know what I wanted in life and thought it would be cool to be married. Well, I stayed married for 11 years...I grew up....he did not!!!! End of story....much better friends now than the whole time we were married!!
That's all!!!
I don't think that anyone gets married to get divorced. People sometimes just grow apart in time. In my case, I was married too damn young. Just really did not know what I wanted in life and thought it would be cool to be married. Well, I stayed married for 11 years...I grew up....he did not!!!! End of story....much better friends now than the whole time we were married!!
That's all!!!
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BrothaBill
Guest
nycgirl said:
I thought you and Omega are a couple?
Times are changing. More and more bs is out there and few people still know or learn how to think for themselves and take some responsibility for their actions, as well as knowing how to honor a commitment and work to make the most of it.
Knowing what you're getting into before you get into it is something many ignore as well.
"Most relationships are not made in heaven. They come in kits and you have to put them together yourselves."
- Anonymous
Knowing what you're getting into before you get into it is something many ignore as well.
"Most relationships are not made in heaven. They come in kits and you have to put them together yourselves."
- Anonymous
nycgirl said:
I thought omegas were good
think about it you've got the 3's and the 6's, etc.....but yeah I guess those lipoic acids ultimately take the cake.
PBR
New member
good post...you are correct...the world moves at blinding speed nowdays. we are so caught up in it. our attention span is about the size of a pinhead. we need immediate results in everything we do, from food to a destination. we dont slow down enough sometimes to take a look at what really is going on around us. besides, everything is disposable right?....not good.hanselthecaretaker said:
That's not to say that there aren't some asstards out there who show another side of themselves after the ceremony, or who change, become alcoholic, abusive, distant, etc.hidngod said:
Sometimes the best thing for all concerned is just to leave.
But you're not in control, if your S.O. is wandering, or abusive, or a closet gay.The Bigdawg said:
PBR said:
I hope there is an afterlife simply for the reason that I want to see how the world ends. I have little doubt that mankind will have something to do with it if our current trends continue.
PBR
New member
i often ponder this...i dont know what to expect. however, our knowledge as human-beings is opening up our consciousness to new awareness. information is more attainable. the flip side to this, is alot of information is nothing but BS and lies. it is difficult for us to sift thru what is real and true and what is not. perhaps it will not be the masses who will find a "solution", but rather individuals who set out on their own to uncover the truths that are out there. it is a scary place, this world of ours...hanselthecaretaker said:
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