Why aren't we together anymore?

[Crazier]

Damn. I just got a phone call with one of my business customers.
A pretty good guy that I've built rapore with over the years. Today, we were talking about my 4 year old daughter. I told him I was probably going to the State Fair this weekend with my daughter, and her mother. The guy said, well are you sure that's a good idea, will you be able to get along? I told him, oh we get along great, there won't be any problems. "Then why aren't you two together anymore? Is she married?" No, she's not. Then, what's the problem?

The question stumped me. I am mystified. We split 3 years ago this month. And, I can no longer answer why we aren't together anymore. At the time, it was because I was 21, she was 19, I wanted to party, I wanted freedom, she wanted a normal family life. After 2 years of living together, with that about 6 months at the end of just arguing, we ended it. Since then, we have been friends, and we get along very well. I'm afraid I can no longer answer why we are not together again. We needed time... we discussed that when we were seperating... time has passed, and my love for her has not. I just don't understand, why aren't we together again?
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[WODIN]

Maybe you should get back together then. Time to give it a go I guess.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Perhaps you should discuss this with her.

People grow and change. Perhaps you and she could revisit the idea of dating.... I know it seems absurd but I do believe that two people who have been intimate can step back and begin again, that is, if they BOTH want it.

Maybe I am wrong.... but I have heard of cases where this has happened and where it did work out. There are also those that after 20 minutes together in a car are brought back to the harsh realities of why they split in the first place - LOL!

You two can try and get to know the people that you are NOW.

...just my .02

 

[HumorMe]

Crazier.....

I'm guessing you two were once married? "Together" can mean so many things nowadays! Some people get along great as long as they aren't married. I've seen it time and time again. They date and get along fine and then they committ to each other and start a family and then they can't get along. Don't really have any advice for you but to tell you if you still have feelings for each other, you two might want to try it again! Maturity has a way of correcting past mistakes! My .02 cents for what it's worth!

 

[Saizen]

If that is how you feel, you should sit and have talk about what perplexes you about the breakup. And hopefully a reconciliation will happen. People grow but they unfortunately do not change in my view. But bikinimom did indeed hit the nail on the head with the 20 min car thing...lol

I still can't understand and comprehend why people in north America feel the urge to get married so soon in their lives- early to mid 20's- with out having experienced it. Unless of course there are greater forces that need a family and consequently a marriage ....pregnancies.

 

[Honeynut]

Definitely talk to her about it, tell her what you've been thinking. You've been friends for this long, through tough times, you can feel confident talking about this openly with her. Good luck!

 

[Big Buck]

I'm in the same situation bro....except my son is only 6 months old It's kinda hard rekindling the fire through letters and 1,000 of miles, but oh well...we're getting there. Do what makes you happy!!!

 

[Crazier]

Thanks for the input guys... this will answer your question.

We started dating December 16th. June 3rd, we found out she was pregnant. We were never married, we moved in with each other in January, a month before our newborn came home.

It's true what BM said... 20 minutes in a car and you can realize why you split in the first place...lol... it's so true. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really in love with her, or if I'm in love with the 17 year old girl I once fell in love with, and had so many dreams I wanted to share with her. I've dated a many a lady since we split, but not one, have I had any feeling for whatsoever. I don't know if it's because I don't allow it... or because no one compares.

Thanks for the input guys!
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[karde]

Good luck, sounds like u guys might be ready to try again.

 

[TxCollegeguy]

Sounds like no one can compare...Why dont you surprise them both with a carnation when yall meet up for the fair. Just be polite about things and see if she would be interested in grabbing something to eat sometime

at this point in your life why be evasive about it? just be honest and approach things like so. If the feelings are still there then time will be a good judge

 

[Crazier]

Hey TX - When do you leave for the Army bro?
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[Night Fly]

I'm with everyone else here...maybe it's time you two try again.

You never know....you two may like the changes that each other has gone through. It's worth a try...