Why are some girls such dirtballs

[Steelplate]

A while back, I asked this girl out I had been interested in for some time.. We had the most incredible time together.. The first time we went out, we ended up sitting on a porch all night talking.. We didnt part company from that one date for 2 days.. It was amazing.. There was no kind of physical contact, aside from her laying her head on my shoulder, and my arm around her when we were talking.. We were completely into each other.. It seemed we had that connection that you always wish would happen to you.. When you meet a person and feel like you have already been best friends your whole life.. Like you have a deeper understanding of one another.. As time went on the relationship just got more, and more wonderful.. In general, I am a pretty stand off guy.. I dont let a lot of people see what I consider the "true" me.. I allowed her in.. Let her into places in my heart that I rarely visit.. We would sit and talk for hours.. Often not realizing what time it was until the morning light started to shine through the windows.. She had the most amazing things to say.. I would tell her that, I would say she was the most amazing girl I had ever met, but I felt that, that would be an absolute injustice to her, to just classify her as a girl.. I would tell her she was the most amazing person I had ever met.. She said she had always wanted someone to say that to her.. That she hated always being a "cool for a girl", or "smart for a girl"..... Last weekend we took a weekend get away to a bed & breakfast.. I have traveled all over, but I have to honestly say that those days we spent there were the best I have known out of town.. We took the little town in during the day, and at night, we would take walks around the lake, find little adventures and spend stellar time in our room.. It felt like only she and I existed.. Out on the deck one night she told me she loved me.. She told me she was my 4 season girl ( cause I always told her I would have to be with a girl through 4 seasons before I ever considered marrying her ).. She said a whole lot that weekend.. I did too.. It seemed like I had found my soul mate.. ( if you believe in that kind of thing, which I never did before her ).. We came back home, and the next day things seemed off.. She seemed withdrawn.. I finally talked with her last night, and could not fucking believe what I heard.. I asked her what was going on, and why the distance.. She told me that she was freaking out.. Freaking out because she cared for me so much.. That she had worked hard to become independant, and stay away from commitment.. That I was the kind of guy she always dreamed of finding, and settling down with.. That she was only in her early 20's, and wasnt ready for that yet.. She said she was freaked out because of what she thought about when she thought about us, and our future.. She then told me that she still wanted to be with me.. Still wanted to spend the night, be close with me... Basically, she wanted everything you get with a relationship, except she didnt want her and I to be exclusive to each other.. We would still be together, only if we wanted we could see other people.. ( Of course she kept throwing in the "there's no one else discalimer" ).. I have wielded the axe that ends relationships, and I have been on the sharp end.. I have been dumped for being a dick and not caring enough, but I have to say this shit is a first.. I have never been dumped because someone loved me to much.. HAHHAHAHA..... What bullshit man.. This girl is so full of shit man.. I figure there has to be someone else, or at least interest.. What really fucking sucks is that now even if she changes her mind, and decides she made a mistake, and wants things back like they were, there is no way I could do that.. How could you ever forgive someone you gave so much of yourself to for asking you to be her "fuck buddy" ??!! Sorry about the length of this post.. I needed to get this shit out though.. I would like to hear some thoughts on this.. In need of some advice right now..

Steelplate

 

[Hannibal]

SP...not knowing all the details of the conversation, or the relationship I can't give any real advice. From what you wrote it just sounds like she's scared. She said herself that she wasn't at a place in her life where she was exactly ready for this. I say if you truly care for her...wait for her. I mean if you have no proof, other than a suspicious nature, that she is seeing someone else...then why ass-u-me that she is. Apparently this was a very emotional weekend for both of you...just let it breathe man. If she is THE ONE then you have to trust her. There's no reason to give up on her...at least not from what little bit of info that you shared here. An instant connection is something that rarely happens...hold on to it if you can. She just sounds scared to me...IMO

Good Luck

 

[Sexual Mustard]

sounds just like the bullshit response I got from my ex g/f 3 weeks ago. I can't help but think she's not telling me the whole story. Everything was peachy until she started distancing herself, just EXACTLY like your girl..... sorry to hear that bro. I know what you're going through.

 

[Garand Man]

Man I feel your pain bro. Just went through something like that a few months ago. Everything was going great then whamo. Out the blue she told me she is moving to Holland to go to school. The chick is 30 years old. I moved down here to be with her. So we decide we will wait for each other. I go to her condo to pick her up to go to Daytona Bike week and my shit is on the top of the stairs waiting for me. No explaination or anything. That freaking hurt.
Sounds to me like she is young and doesn't know what she wants yet. Sorry about it bro hang in there and this too shall pass.

 

[Yellowbomber]

girls are always so, my advice, use em but never come close to them

 

[Slice of Peach2]

girls are always so, my advice, use em but never come close to them

You are going to be very lonely, sweetie.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Tie her arms behind her back with a thick piece of rope. Then put a hood over her head, like the old executioners. Now, throw a frenzy of punches into her abdomen in an attempt to make her vomit. Once she has experienced reverse peristalsis, take the opportunity to smash her skull in with a 5 iron.

Using a turkey baster, squirt some muriatic acid into the wound left by the golf club. This should effectively end whatever type of "relationship" you had with her.

Good luck.

 

[Yellowbomber]

just perfect Satanic

 

[Slice of Peach2]

This is not funny. Not at all.

 

[Steelplate]

I have been thinking about this situation some more.. Trying to take a step back from it, and see the whole picture.. This is how I figure it now.. Her own words dont make any sense.. " You are the kind of guy I have always dreamed I would find to settle down with.. You are the guy I always hoped and dreamed would come along.. You are every thing I always wanted".. Well, if that is true, then why not be with me.. There should be no problem with commitment.. Whats going on here is this girl is trying to have that proverbial cake, and eat it too.. She wants everything that comes with a relationship, sans the commitment.. By saying what she did it is pretty clear that she is simply trying to manipulate me into staying with her.. She is trying to fill me with false hope.. Making excues as to why I should stick around, and continue to give her everything I have been.. All the while doing her own thing on the side.. Its fucking selfish.. It is beyond me how she could be so in love with me one weekend, and now is spilling all this retarded shit out of her mouth.. I am sure she thinks I will take her up on this offer.. I have decided I am going to cut her loose though.. It is a fact we always want what we cant have.. I wonder how long it will be after I tell her I want nothing to do with her that she will be back around telling me what a mistake she made..

 

[liftsiron]

To put it bluntly she is fucked in the head. This is common to many girls her age. She gets her gratafication by fucking with your head. When ever a girl starts talking that shit the relationship is dead. Move on you very likly will hit the pot of gold, It takes time, In my case alot of time.

 

[Sassy69]

SP -

I'd have to say that can be just characteristic of anyone, not just girls, in their early 20's. Seems there are two different sorts of people at that age - those who need to get their own lives and goals established once they get out in the real world, and those who are so scared of it all they want to is find someone to grab onto who will take care of them. For those just starting to get a direction started to achieve their dreams, "commitment" to another person presents a dilemma of wanting that relationship but potentially having to give up your own dreams. Scary shit. The relationship option can be even scarier than going out across the world to pursue a goal because the relationship introduces another factor, trust. Ask how many people won't even consider a commitment even if they have no other plans, just because they got f*'d a couple times for trusting someone.

Its hard enough to find someone that you "click" with, and then its even harder to get the timing just right...

Wish you luck...

 

[Rex]

Words from the wise:

"Treat girls like dogs. The ones who don't take it are the ones worth keeping." - Bikinimom

 

[Sassy69]

Bmom - you are a fountain of knowledge and inspiration. I think you should consider giving that nut Dr. Laura a run for her money!

Just think, "Dr. Bikinimom" in bright lights. The headlines read "Dr. Bikinimom tells Dr. Laura to go blow", "Dr. Bikinimom gets Oprah devotees off their fat butts and into the gym", "Dr. Bikinimom inspires today's youth to get a life", "Dr. Bikinimom lays out the real "Rules""

OK, I'm getting teary eyed here - you go BMOM! (note I did not say "you go girl"...)

 

[Steelplate]

F.H, she works at one of those psychic phone networks, I bet if you start calling enough of them, you will find her.. Thats how we met .. I have decided that cutting her totally loose would be retarded.. The very worst that can happen here is I have a girl that wants to crawl into my bed, and have absolutely no commitment.. Then I can see other ladies on the side, and she, by her own words has to be down with it.. Yeah, I'll take that please.. I am taking the Zen like approach on this one.. I am just going to exist in it.. Flow.. Plus, it will give me a chance to make some stellar video.. HAHAHA..

Steelplate