SublimeZM said:
your kids are really goodlooking,
...in a noncreepy, very sincere way
Thanks Subby, I am very blessed as all four of my girls are healthy, smart, kind-hearted, talented and beautiful..... even my oldest has so much to offer the world, but the abuse that she has endured makes her blind to her self-worth.
You know, I was just going to ignore the whole "Halloween" thing because this photo was taken THE LAST DAY I saw any of my four children. Halloween has always been my FAVORITE holiday but this year I tried so hard to be happy.... I just couldn't. And I think I broke the Old Grump's heart, though I didn't mean to.
Then I saw your K note Subby... and it made me think.
My husband is a wonderful man. He is human and has his faults but all in all no one else would even THINK to step up to the plate, let alone take it on like the drama was his to begin with. And stoopid me, I just say nothing...
He tried so hard to make me happy. I tried to be happy, even painted my face and put on a psuedo demon outfit - well my t-shirt said I am a demon in French - got it in Paris from Jack's Pub, the bar I was tending at in 2003 when I was away from girls. And now 4 years, several hundred thousand dollars, goodness knows how many fucking court battles and again, I am without my children. If they were well cared for, I would still be sad, but at least I could live knowing that they were ok....
My husband came along a year ago and was sure that he "could save the day". He had no clue what he was getting into... even he admits that. But he isn't going anywhere, though I have tried to push him out the door at least once a week for a year now...
If he left today he would leave blameless. I still don't understand why he would make his life so unGodly awfull just to TRY to make me happy.
My husband is a good man and I don't think I deserve him. I mean, I know I am a good person, but I NOT a good wife. I am trying to not let this unimaginable sorrow destroy me, but days like yesterday don't help.
Today is another day which brings us one day closer to the day when no one will ever be able separate me from my girls again and one day closer to my dream of having a complete happy family. I hope that the Old Grump will stick around for that because my family wouldn't be complete without him.