The penguin would prevail. I don't care how big the turtle is, a juiced penguin is just going to flip the turtle on his back like he's doing a 600lb deadlift and go to work on the turtles fleshy underbelly. No contest. Now between ME and a juiced penguin? I'd fuck one of those tuxedo wearing birds up! Where's a god damned penguin right now? Are you a penguin? BRING ME A FUCKING PENGUIN! DON"T THESE MOTHERS KNOW I"M ON TREN AND GET AGITATED EASILY!!!!!! FUCK EVERYBODY!