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what's on your mind today?

AAP

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What ya got rattling around in that hollow rock on your shoulders?

Happy, sad, whatever.
 
I have a doctor's appointment today,and I am hoping it won't include anything internal this time.

Then, I'm just thinking about work and the baby, etc.
 
Will I get laid tonight? and why did I not wipe the nacho cheese shit from my fingers before typing.
 
I have seven jobs all starting this week. I am going fucking insane. I have meetings all week - on some days two or three meetings at the same time - which is obviously not going to happen. I get all worked up and crazy during times like this. Well - gotta head out to a meeting.
 
reno240 said:
I have seven jobs all starting this week. I am going fucking insane. I have meetings all week - on some days two or three meetings at the same time - which is obviously not going to happen. I get all worked up and crazy during times like this. Well - gotta head out to a meeting.

I prefer the simple life. But hey, at least you can buy a lot of flowers and then be able to afford a high dollar attorney. I'm envious.
 
I came back from PS yesterday. I still have not made any decision on the moving out there part and I really dont' know what to do.

If I do stay behind here in FTL, I am going to have to research a bit about becoming a foster parent like I want.

I am suppose to go to some memorial service (read : free drinks on the house) for a dead drag queen. Not sure how I got invited to this but me is thinking and thinking and thinking *scratches head*... that I won't go.
 
I'm sitting here doing what I do every day PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!

Not really, just sounded good.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
I have a meeting with my HR dept today and am going over in my head how I'm going to get my point across w/out raising my voice.
Oh and chocolate chip cookies
 
got a job interview today,pissed off that I have to go back to my current job tomorrow and work god foresaken afternoons. and im pissy that the weather sucks,the wind has been blowng constantly since about 2 am so I slept shitty with barn doors banging and such
 
blueta2 said:
I have a meeting with my HR dept today and am going over in my head how I'm going to get my point across w/out raising my voice.
Oh and chocolate chip cookies


I have an open package of choc chip cookies on my desk right now.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Where am I going to bury this guy at? SHould I just burn the body? I don't wanna go to jail!
 
mightymouse69 said:
Dear EF friends,

Regardless of our challenges today, we have been blessed with another day above the ground - for that we can be thankful.

May all your wishes come true.

Geigh huh :)


you see, why do ppl say this?
In my eyes, death is as grand as life. Why are we so afriad to die that we need to feel blessed for one more day in this crazy world.

I like the wishes and gay hug part though ;-)
 
blueta2 said:
are they chewy or crispy...??? I am very particular about my cookies.


Kind of in the middle though closer to crispy. Really good!!!!

There's only one left :worried:

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Please explain this further; I am curious as to your perspective on this. Personally I fear death and dying.

blueta2 said:
you see, why do ppl say this?
In my eyes, death is as grand as life. Why are we so afriad to die that we need to feel blessed for one more day in this crazy world.

I like the wishes and gay hug part though ;-)
 
How I finally told my ex wife that I really don't want to ever talk to her again. That her constant negitivity, belitteling, and just generally trying to be hurtful have pushed me to the edge and I've had it. Done with trying to be nice and have some sort of friendship.
 
mightymouse69 said:
Please explain this further; I am curious as to your perspective on this. Personally I fear death and dying.

I've had quite a few hardships in my life. These hardships have made me realize life is not so grand. That is not a comment coming from depression; it's coming from my reality.
Dying is not the end. To die is the ultimate peace.
My Grandmother who was a large part of me and my life passed away in 1999. She had a stroke and never came too (in a coma). The dr's told us she was brain dead. My Mom stopped her feeding tube and I was devastated and pissed at my Mom for wanting to "kill her". Well for the 3 weeks she lingered, my perception of death changed. My Grandma had a very hard life and finally she was going to be able to leave.
On the last day of her life, I crawled into my grandma's bed and just held her and talked to her. Within 10 mins, my Grandma sat up in bed, looked me right in the eyes, cried, grabbed my hand and just quietly looked me in the face.
My grandma then takes the crucifix that was in her limb hand for 3 weeks and placed it in mine.
I sat up and yelled "Mom, Nanny is awake, She's ok".
She didn't say a word, then she laid down slowly and took her last breath.
I wasn't crying, or freaking out. I just looked at my mom and my Mom said to me "Jen, she just said goodbye to you"
The peace I felt at that moment was immense and I JUST KNEW there was more to "life" than living.
I know this seems drama filled, but this is exactly how it went down…
Wow, that was personal and I'm very emotional right now.
I need COOKIES ;-)

MM, what do u fear most about dying?
 
theoak01 said:
im thinking how Im gonna con my girlfriend into a quicky when she comes home on lunch

First off don't actually use the word quickie!LOL

You location made me think of my new sporran it's made from greenland seal and it's soft enough to make me think it was a baby. Somehow it made my day to know I was part of a baby seal clubbing.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Who looks forward to death? Living is for the here and now.

Death can wait forever as far as I am concerned.
 
What a wonderful story, very moving and I am sure it left you with some very powerful emotions. I had the exact opposite experience when my Dad died, I was getting up to bat at a baseball game (11 years old) and my uncle came and got me and told me. It was unexpected and immediate, never said goodbye or anything like that. Since then I have lost many friends, relatives so death is not foreign to me. I see it as stolen time, that is how I perceive it regardless of the age. Although I am a person of faith, I guess I don't feel things are better after....I wish I did.

Sorry for your losses :(

blueta2 said:
I've had quite a few hardships in my life. These hardships have made me realize life is not so grand. That is not a comment coming from depression; it's coming from my reality.
Dying is not the end. To die is the ultimate peace.
My Grandmother who was a large part of me and my life passed away in 1999. She had a stroke and never came too (in a coma). The dr's told us she was brain dead. My Mom stopped her feeding tube and I was devastated and pissed at my Mom for wanting to "kill her". Well for the 3 weeks she lingered, my perception of death changed. My Grandma had a very hard life and finally she was going to be able to leave.
On the last day of her life, I crawled into my grandma's bed and just held her and talked to her. Within 10 mins, my Grandma sat up in bed, looked me right in the eyes, cried, grabbed my hand and just quietly looked me in the face.
My grandma then takes the crucifix that was in her limb hand for 3 weeks and placed it in mine.
I sat up and yelled "Mom, Nanny is awake, She's ok".
She didn't say a word, then she laid down slowly and took her last breath.
I wasn't crying, or freaking out. I just looked at my mom and my Mom said to me "Jen, she just said goodbye to you"
The peace I felt at that moment was immense and I JUST KNEW there was more to "life" than living.
I know this seems drama filled, but this is exactly how it went down…
Wow, that was personal and I'm very emotional right now.
I need COOKIES ;-)

MM, what do u fear most about dying?
 
Scotsman said:
First off don't actually use the word quickie!LOL

You location made me think of my new sporran it's made from greenland seal and it's soft enough to make me think it was a baby. Somehow it made my day to know I was part of a baby seal clubbing.

Cheers,
Scotsman


lol ya she wouldnt have liked the word quickie too much,but she foiled my plans anyway by going to the grocery store on her way home so she was too late and I had to leave for an interview.

pics of said sporran? Ive got a basic one but I really like that look ,if I ever bought another id get a fox,the one with the head still on it
 
got stuck on the midnight (0001 to 0800) shift for this week only...arrrgghhhhhh...my LEAST favorite shift at the insane asylum.
 
The same thing I have thought about for every second of every day for over a year: having my girls and a happy life free from my ex's tyranny.
 
my next hairstyle

weekend plans

stuff to do tonight. damnit I forgot to run an errand on my lunchbreak.

stuff like that is on my mind today

my tv is not working properly :(

nothing too deep
 
blueta2 said:
I've had quite a few hardships in my life. These hardships have made me realize life is not so grand. That is not a comment coming from depression; it's coming from my reality.
Dying is not the end. To die is the ultimate peace.
My Grandmother who was a large part of me and my life passed away in 1999. She had a stroke and never came too (in a coma). The dr's told us she was brain dead. My Mom stopped her feeding tube and I was devastated and pissed at my Mom for wanting to "kill her". Well for the 3 weeks she lingered, my perception of death changed. My Grandma had a very hard life and finally she was going to be able to leave.
On the last day of her life, I crawled into my grandma's bed and just held her and talked to her. Within 10 mins, my Grandma sat up in bed, looked me right in the eyes, cried, grabbed my hand and just quietly looked me in the face.
My grandma then takes the crucifix that was in her limb hand for 3 weeks and placed it in mine.
I sat up and yelled "Mom, Nanny is awake, She's ok".
She didn't say a word, then she laid down slowly and took her last breath.
I wasn't crying, or freaking out. I just looked at my mom and my Mom said to me "Jen, she just said goodbye to you"
The peace I felt at that moment was immense and I JUST KNEW there was more to "life" than living.
I know this seems drama filled, but this is exactly how it went down…
Wow, that was personal and I'm very emotional right now.
I need COOKIES ;-)

MM, what do u fear most about dying?


pretty morbid and sad...however there are two types of people on their death beds. #1 is the ones who petrified of death and are resentful of the lives they lived...they wished they could have done things much better or lived a better life.
#2, which is much rarer....are the ones who fulfilled their lives, did everything they want to do and lived how they wanted to live. They're ready for death and accept it becase they did everything they needed to do on this earth.

Life can suck sometimes, but it's all about your perspective and how you overcome adversity. i've been through alot at a young age, but i can say it's made me stronger and i've worked on making every experience hold some type of value. i have life experiences that most people my age will never seen for another 15 years, if ever....and i'm grateful for it no matter how hard it has been at times because with every wound there comes great power as long as you accept it.

I used to fear death...but now i realize that living long in fear is worse than dying with freedom. i rather try to enjoy my life as much as possible..and if something happens, fuck it. at least i know i was a good person that didn't limit myself because i was afraid to do things. life is too short to fear anything


anyways, what's on my mind? How the fuck i can wake up at 6:30am do cardio, work 10-11 hours and then come back at 8:30pm.eat, lift, grocery shop and then cook for the next couple of days and get to bed at a decent time...bleh. thank god for my vaporizer. can't wait till i stop cutting..cardio eats up so much time
 
theoak01 said:
lol ya she wouldnt have liked the word quickie too much,but she foiled my plans anyway by going to the grocery store on her way home so she was too late and I had to leave for an interview.

pics of said sporran? Ive got a basic one but I really like that look ,if I ever bought another id get a fox,the one with the head still on it


I'll take a pic when I get home and post it up I left it at home when I came back over to Scotland.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
AAP said:
What ya got rattling around in that hollow rock on your shoulders?

Happy, sad, whatever.
1) URAC Acceditation Review today
2) Facets upgrade project E2E testing
3) preparations for Staff meetings scheduled for tomorrow and friday
4) preparations for Facets upgrade training scheduled for Sat & Sun - need to create and edit Workflows and put together training documents
5) in 2 weeks my son will go on a 6 week visit with his Dad in Chicago and I'm pretty sad about that
 
blueta2 said:
I've had quite a few hardships in my life. These hardships have made me realize life is not so grand. That is not a comment coming from depression; it's coming from my reality.
Dying is not the end. To die is the ultimate peace.
My Grandmother who was a large part of me and my life passed away in 1999. She had a stroke and never came too (in a coma). The dr's told us she was brain dead. My Mom stopped her feeding tube and I was devastated and pissed at my Mom for wanting to "kill her". Well for the 3 weeks she lingered, my perception of death changed. My Grandma had a very hard life and finally she was going to be able to leave.
On the last day of her life, I crawled into my grandma's bed and just held her and talked to her. Within 10 mins, my Grandma sat up in bed, looked me right in the eyes, cried, grabbed my hand and just quietly looked me in the face.
My grandma then takes the crucifix that was in her limb hand for 3 weeks and placed it in mine.
I sat up and yelled "Mom, Nanny is awake, She's ok".
She didn't say a word, then she laid down slowly and took her last breath.
I wasn't crying, or freaking out. I just looked at my mom and my Mom said to me "Jen, she just said goodbye to you"
The peace I felt at that moment was immense and I JUST KNEW there was more to "life" than living.
I know this seems drama filled, but this is exactly how it went down…
Wow, that was personal and I'm very emotional right now.
I need COOKIES ;-)

MM, what do u fear most about dying?


Tha's a nice story in a way. One thing i don't get though....how did she wake up if she was in a coma and supposedly brain dead??
 
jd_uk said:
Tha's a nice story in a way. One thing i don't get though....how did she wake up if she was in a coma and supposedly brain dead??

Exactly...how did she wake up! The dr explained to us that in some final moments, the brain wiring can change and the person act spontaneous. Dr said she prob didn't even know I was there.
Well I knew she was "there" b/c her and I had this thing, where when I would go visit with her and it was time to leave, she would kiss me and grab my hand and squeeze it three times. She would always say "3 times for good luck"
When she woke in her final moments, b4 she put the crucifix in my hand, she squeezed my hand 3 times. Coincidence? Maybe, but I chose to believe otherwise.
My explanation......God or the Universe (which ever u believe in) gave her a moment of clarity to wake up and say g'bye.
 
calveless wonder said:
I used to fear death...but now i realize that living long in fear is worse than dying with freedom. i rather try to enjoy my life as much as possible..and if something happens, fuck it. at least i know i was a good person that didn't limit myself because i was afraid to do things. life is too short to fear anything

An notion I am trying to adopt. I'm a good person with a kind heart, but have a lot of pain from life's "shots" to the head. But I'm trying :-)


By the way, I don't think my story was morbid or sad. I thought the experience was beautiful :-)
 
mightymouse69 said:
What a wonderful story, very moving and I am sure it left you with some very powerful emotions. I had the exact opposite experience when my Dad died, I was getting up to bat at a baseball game (11 years old) and my uncle came and got me and told me. It was unexpected and immediate, never said goodbye or anything like that. Since then I have lost many friends, relatives so death is not foreign to me. I see it as stolen time, that is how I perceive it regardless of the age. Although I am a person of faith, I guess I don't feel things are better after....I wish I did.

Sorry for your losses :(

Thanks, but I didn't lose, I gained :-)

That's very young to lose your pop. It's tough for kids to understand death.
As a person of faith, try to have faith that we are more than just "life".
I don't believe there are a bunch of souls running around in "heaven", but I do believe energy never dies.
 
Smurfy said:
5) in 2 weeks my son will go on a 6 week visit with his Dad in Chicago and I'm pretty sad about that

#1 You have a son.
#2 At least he is coming back.

Lots of people are missing out on those two simple joys.
 
Taking care of a wife beater. Developing a plan of action
 
blueta2 said:
Exactly...how did she wake up! The dr explained to us that in some final moments, the brain wiring can change and the person act spontaneous. Dr said she prob didn't even know I was there.
Well I knew she was "there" b/c her and I had this thing, where when I would go visit with her and it was time to leave, she would kiss me and grab my hand and squeeze it three times. She would always say "3 times for good luck"
When she woke in her final moments, b4 she put the crucifix in my hand, she squeezed my hand 3 times. Coincidence? Maybe, but I chose to believe otherwise.
My explanation......God or the Universe (which ever u believe in) gave her a moment of clarity to wake up and say g'bye.

Either way, very cool and nice story.
 
AAP said:
#1 You have a son.
#2 At least he is coming back.

Lots of people are missing out on those two simple joys.
Agreed. And I am very grateful for what I have. But being separated from your child for extended periods of time is tough.
 
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