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What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a.....

def a monkey
 
i think women would be way impressed with a guy who has a zombie butler. i mean, she'd be wondering how you managed to control a blood thirsty member of the undead and force him into eternal servitude. and she'd also be impressed with the fact that you have a keen financial sense because you don't have to pay zombie butlers, you only have a give them a stray animal once in a while.
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

jaybois said:
I think monkeys shit everywhere so i"ll go with a zombie.
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but youll have to worry bout the zombie coming into ur bedroom at night and eating your brains
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

HumanTarget said:
that monkey would step on your already crippled E-game.
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oh not nice
rub your latest playa of EF game on him why dont u
 
Y_lifter said:
I wouldn't want the zombie as it would chase raina away
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ya know, she doesn't like either of them, but i can't keep putting off my happiness over her "quirks" anymore.....
 
HumanTarget said:
that monkey would step on your already crippled E-game.
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ya but thats ok,monkeys are cute so maybe a chic would be like hey cute monkey you got there wanna fuck
 
theoak01 said:
ya but thats ok,monkeys are cute so maybe a chic would be like hey cute monkey you got there wanna fuck
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and that cute monkey would stab you in the back when you went to piss by telling hottie chick to be careful not to step in any crusty sweat socks when she goes into your bedroom. and that you pee the bed. and have Deputy Dawg underoos.
 
Oh you just made this thread to make me choose between 2 nightmares. Add in a dolphin option and I'd go insane.

I'd take both and them off them. Excessive use of a shotgun. Then I'd eat cupcakes.
 
any of them. Being sorrounded by plain monkeys, anything would be better.
 
Devastation said:
zombies rule. good thread ht
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seems only the truly "enlightened" folk can appreciate the merits of the undead. they last forever. they don't have any distractions like family, friends, kids, hobbies. they only have hunger. blood-thirsty, unrelenting hunger for human flesh. and if someone pisses me off, yep, that's right, zombie bite. i'll be havin' me another zombie servant. maybe a maid. or chef. or chauffeur...
 
Raina said:
Oh you just made this thread to make me choose between 2 nightmares. Add in a dolphin option and I'd go insane.

I'd take both and them off them. Excessive use of a shotgun. Then I'd eat cupcakes.
Click to expand...
a Dolphin with the brain of a Zombie!!! i could rule the seas then! or, if i could teach Dolphins to apply copious amount of lotion to keep from drying out, i could have them attack coastal cities. like Japan. but Godzilla has already done that.
 
HumanTarget said:
seems only the truly "enlightened" folk can appreciate the merits of the undead. they last forever. they don't have any distractions like family, friends, kids, hobbies. they only have hunger. blood-thirsty, unrelenting hunger for human flesh. and if someone pisses me off, yep, that's right, zombie bite. i'll be havin' me another zombie servant. maybe a maid. or chef. or chauffeur...
Click to expand...


I dont like the dead. they are so overrated. yes they are unstoppable when they attack but I mean cmon, how much ass are they pulling in on the weekend? I doubt they pass the dress code for many of the trendy clubs they try to get into. And do the zombies own a house or car? ed zachary.

I for one would never have a monkey. I mean do you guys hang out with midgets in your normal everyday lives? i sure as hell dont. Try hanging out with a 3 foot tall monkey. And the body hair? No, I have standards. Even when it comes to my friends' physical appearances.

i dont like either choice either.

oh and HT. i rike you ress than you rike me probably.

cuz i fucking rock.
 
pervis ellison said:
I dont like the dead. they are so overrated. yes they are unstoppable when they attack but I mean cmon, how much ass are they pulling in on the weekend? I doubt they pass the dress code for many of the trendy clubs they try to get into. And do the zombies own a house or car? ed zachary.

I for one would never have a monkey. I mean do you guys hang out with midgets in your normal everyday lives? i sure as hell dont. Try hanging out with a 3 foot tall monkey. And the body hair? No, I have standards. Even when it comes to my friends' physical appearances.

i dont like either choice either.

oh and HT. i rike you ress than you rike me probably.

cuz i fucking rock.
Click to expand...
ok. look. you don't like monkeys because people would come up to you and your monkey and say to your monkey: "hey, that a real cute monkey you have there." and Perv, if you don't rike me, jus' say so. you Asian folk are smug to begin with. what's with you guys breaking into Cantonese when i'm waiting for my sizzling rice soup when you were speaking perfect English minutes before?? i know you said something about my shirt. i was fucking working all day, so of course it is going to be a little wrinkled....
 
HumanTarget said:
ok. look. you don't like monkeys because people would come up to you and your monkey and say to your monkey: "hey, that a real cute monkey you have there." and Perv, if you don't rike me, jus' say so. you Asian folk are smug to begin with. what's with you guys breaking into Cantonese when i'm waiting for my sizzling rice soup when you were speaking perfect English minutes before?? i know you said something about my shirt. i was fucking working all day, so of course it is going to be a little wrinkled....
Click to expand...


lmfao weirdest rant ever.

and the rike me was a joke because of your K message to me.
am I smug. Of course. not bc Im asian. its cuz im a conceited asshole. and smarter than 92.6% of the population. (of DA WORLD MWAHHAHA)

and I was born in ohio, my parents are from South Korea. At least get your nationalities straight (and of course you will break into: "Its all the same thing blah blah blah)

and you wanna talk about work? try being an asian immigrant in this country making it on your own. they never ask for welfare or a handout or any special scholarship programs.they work their asses off to built a small business.

fuck your shirt. you probably got it Marshall's trying to pass it off as brand new. go ahead and get away with picking on and making smart ass remarks about asians. you are just like the rest of this fucking world. its funny to make fun of asians cuz we so smarr and funny sounding...ching ping pong ching.

make fun of a mexican or black person? you are going to hell. or at least get the shit kicked out of you. make fun of us? we quitely take it and go on working harder than anybody else. why do you think almost all of our technology and products are better than anyone else's?
its cool to be associated with blacks or latinos---but asians? no we're a fuggin joke arent we HumanTarget?


lmao. now thats fuckin rant.
 
pervis ellison said:
lmfao weirdest rant ever.

and the rike me was a joke because of your K message to me.
am I smug. Of course. not bc Im asian. its cuz im a conceited asshole. and smarter than 92.6% of the population. (of DA WORLD MWAHHAHA)

and I was born in ohio, my parents are from South Korea. At least get your nationalities straight (and of course you will break into: "Its all the same thing blah blah blah)

and you wanna talk about work? try being an asian immigrant in this country making it on your own. they never ask for welfare or a handout or any special scholarship programs.they work their asses off to built a small business.

fuck your shirt. you probably got it Marshall's trying to pass it off as brand new. go ahead and get away with picking on and making smart ass remarks about asians. you are just like the rest of this fucking world. its funny to make fun of asians cuz we so smarr and funny sounding...ching ping pong ching.

make fun of a mexican or black person? you are going to hell. or at least get the shit kicked out of you. make fun of us? we quitely take it and go on working harder than anybody else. why do you think almost all of our technology and products are better than anyone else's?
its cool to be associated with blacks or latinos---but asians? no we're a fuggin joke arent we HumanTarget?


lmao. now thats fuckin rant.
Click to expand...
dude. i could have made a Calgon or laundry comment, but i didn't. because i have something called Class. and Tact. i regularly make fun of my amigo SoreArms. and it's hard for me to make fun of balcks, due to overexposure. you can only laugh so many times at the word "buckethead."
 
HumanTarget said:
and that cute monkey would stab you in the back when you went to piss by telling hottie chick to be careful not to step in any crusty sweat socks when she goes into your bedroom. and that you pee the bed. and have Deputy Dawg underoos.
Click to expand...


pretty spot on,dude you stalking me?
 
HumanTarget said:
dude. i could have made a Calgon or laundry comment, but i didn't. because i have something called Class. and Tact. i regularly make fun of my amigo SoreArms. and it's hard for me to make fun of balcks, due to overexposure. you can only laugh so many times at the word "buckethead."
Click to expand...

i have no idea what you are talking about. calgon and laundry? settle down president of the varisty high school debate team...i was laughing at my own rant. im not trying to argue about anything with you.
 
pervis ellison said:
i have no idea what you are talking about. calgon and laundry? settle down president of the varisty high school debate team...i was laughing at my own rant. im not trying to argue about anything with you.
Click to expand...
i'm not arguing with you about anything either. i'm trying to add osme more humor to this dried up husk of a chat board, dammit!! Calgon = laundry detergent with the catch phrase, "Ancient Chinese secret". laundry is self-explanatory. now you need to go and simmer down now. say a few mantras and all will be well.
 
HumanTarget said:
i'm not arguing with you about anything either. i'm trying to add osme more humor to this dried up husk of a chat board, dammit!! Calgon = laundry detergent with the catch phrase, "Ancient Chinese secret". laundry is self-explanatory. now you need to go and simmer down now. say a few mantras and all will be well.
Click to expand...
i will not settle down! i am adamant in my cause to fight against all those who oppose my views. (you know im fuckign with you too HT. we have serious humor. meaning we are at our funniest when we sound the most serious bout something random)

anyways, i really didnt know that calgon llaundry thing..
also, i agree, the chat board has been husky lately. like corn in nebraska in late july.

my booty itch
 
pervis ellison said:
i will not settle down! i am adamant in my cause to fight against all those who oppose my views. (you know im fuckign with you too HT. we have serious humor. meaning we are at our funniest when we sound the most serious bout something random)

anyways, i really didnt know that calgon llaundry thing..
also, i agree, the chat board has been husky lately. like corn in nebraska in late july.

my booty itch
Click to expand...
cool. i'm down. now let's get back to making kung-fu & gun sounds.
 
The monkey with the human brain would be too much like a Planet of the Apes thing and we all know how that turned out .. 'Damn you, Damn you all to Hell' .. but I digress -- so it would have to be .. zombie butler, zombie butler !!!
 
EF doesn't have any Asian girls, do they? atleast not any ignorant enough to associate with us........
 
HumanTarget said:
lmfao!!!! @ Pervis Ellison's jam session!!! who dat in the pic?? Sas or Raina? i always pictured Raina being the girl in the band with a tambourine.
Click to expand...

i like oak but im about to bomb him for that.

and fuck if i looked like that douche i would commit suicide. very slowly. fuckin dude makes me sick. he looks gayer than Greg Lougainis's asshole.

Sas as in Sassy? man where has she been? i wish she posted more. she's a great buddy to have. plus she has met me in real life and could validate my beauty and charm. not that i need validation. well for parking. when i see my "dentist."

my karma is the highest its ever been. i want to buy someone a week long plat membership.

also you are from michigan. did you know I graduated from Miami (OH) U?

if so, my bad.

if not, my bad.

BTW never go shopping in an asian market. you will hallucinate from breathing in the smell.

hideous. hideo nomo ous.
 
theoak01 said:
def raina
Click to expand...


wellesly.edu? isnt that the total dyke college? wtf are my cousins doing?? jesus christ *shakes head in disbelief*

my peoples...damn.
 
HumanTarget said:
EF doesn't have any Asian girls, do they? atleast not any ignorant enough to associate with us........
Click to expand...


Raina is half asian and half jewish duh :rolleyes:
 
pervis ellison said:
i like oak but im about to bomb him for that.

and fuck if i looked like that douche i would commit suicide. very slowly. fuckin dude makes me sick. he looks gayer than Greg Lougainis's asshole.

Sas as in Sassy? man where has she been? i wish she posted more. she's a great buddy to have. plus she has met me in real life and could validate my beauty and charm. not that i need validation. well for parking. when i see my "dentist."

my karma is the highest its ever been. i want to buy someone a week long plat membership.

also you are from michigan. did you know I graduated from Miami (OH) U?

if so, my bad.

if not, my bad.

BTW never go shopping in an asian market. you will hallucinate from breathing in the smell.

hideous. hideo nomo ous.
Click to expand...
yep, MI here. i wonder who is eligible for plattytude? and i'll have you know that i ate smoked eels last week. and some of the fellows at my day job are from Laos. the care workers complain about taking them shopping. they say the places they buy groceries from look like pet shops.
 
HumanTarget said:
yep, MI here. i wonder who is eligible for plattytude? and i'll have you know that i ate smoked eels last week. and some of the fellows at my day job are from Laos. the care workers complain about taking them shopping. they say the places they buy groceries from look like pet shops.
Click to expand...
lmfao @ pet shops.

i dont go to the markets here in l.a. but once in a while if my mom wants me to buy something "authentic" to ship back to Ohio I will go and buy something and do so like the good lil asian son.

anyways, i wouldnt say pet shops.

i would say it looks like someone dropped a atomic bomb in the middle of lake, detonated, waitied for the dust to settle, all the dead fish float up to the surface of the water in random fucked up pieces, they took a pool cleaning scooper, fished out all the fish heads and pieces, piled them in a truck and took them to the market.


thats what it looks like.
 
hey hey hey sally dont go bombing me,I just search oak1 on google and found that shit,human target dubbed it the kak party
 
HumanTarget said:
if you can tell that from midriff/boobay shots, you are a better man than i.
Click to expand...

my bad. i didnt mean it like that. i was just informing you. but her name isnt Wang Pe Lichtenstein.
 
pervis ellison said:
i would say it looks like someone dropped a atomic bomb in the middle of lake, detonated, waitied for the dust to settle, all the dead fish float up to the surface of the water in random fucked up pieces, they took a pool cleaning scooper, fished out all the fish heads and pieces, piled them in a truck and took them to the market.


thats what it looks like.
Click to expand...

You should write travel brochures :D lmao
 
c00per said:
You should write travel brochures :D lmao
Click to expand...

i use to but got fired because I kept referring to different provinces in africa as "Da Jungle"
 
i used to write greeting cards. i was fired over a bullshit bereavement card i wrote, containing the phrase: "atleast you can go fuck other people legally now". i still don't know what their problem was......
 
pervis ellison said:
i use to but got fired because I kept referring to different provinces in africa as "Da Jungle"
Click to expand...

And that was wrong ?? !!

How about that.
Learn something new every day.
 
c00per said:
And that was wrong ?? !!

How about that.
Learn something new every day.
Click to expand...

"The village of Nawambo of Nigeria lies in a vast array of trees and exotic plans in the foreground. The inhabitants of this village find nightlife quite exciting in their wilderness. Many females will venture out to DA JUNGLE to find a mate. In DA JUNGLE, natives will beat at a rhythmic pace on a zebra skin drum as men and female alike dance in a ritual-like fashion."

excerpt from Kakdiesel's travel guide: AFRICA: NOT JUST FOR BLACK PEOPLE
 
pervis ellison said:
"The village of Nawambo of Nigeria lies in a vast array of trees and exotic plans in the foreground. The inhabitants of this village find nightlife quite exciting in their wilderness. Many females will venture out to DA JUNGLE to find a mate. In DA JUNGLE, natives will beat at a rhythmic pace on a zebra skin drum as men and female alike dance in a ritual-like fashion."

excerpt from Kakdiesel's travel guide: AFRICA: NOT JUST FOR BLACK PEOPLE
Click to expand...
that's from fuckin' Dolemite.
 
I assume the Zombie Butler will not react to my snippy attitude that occurs once a month. I think it would make my dog (he's male) and my man happy if someone else had to deal with it.
 
HumanTarget said:
i wonder if zombies need to go to the bathroom?
Click to expand...
Probably, I'm not sure of their digestive efficiency....I went with the zombie becaus ethe monkey would probably be plotting against me.....
 
HumanTarget said:
i wonder if zombies need to go to the bathroom?
Click to expand...
They 'need to go' but they don't actually 'think' they need to go so it would be an idea to spread a few newspapers around on the floor.
 
I never understood zombie movies
they eat the living
so where do the new zombies come from?
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

HumanTarget said:
but what if her shit was all decayed and fungal?
Click to expand...
2hdr8m9.jpg
 
4everhung said:
I never understood zombie movies
they eat the living
so where do the new zombies come from?
Click to expand...
the zombies only partially eat their victims, thus leaving enough carcass to rise again and kill. and kill. and kill.....
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

HumanTarget said:
the zombies only partially eat their victims, thus leaving enough carcass to rise again and kill. and kill. and kill.....
Click to expand...
I thought that through too
usually it's gangs of zombies and there's not enough remaining of the former living to carrion
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

4everhung said:
I thought that through too
usually it's gangs of zombies and there's not enough remaining of the former living to carrion
Click to expand...
do you guys leave piles of the dead just lying about? that could be part of the reason....
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

HumanTarget said:
do you guys leave piles of the dead just lying about? that could be part of the reason....
Click to expand...
what was that 80's horror flick with zombies?
it was hilarious and really well done
thye brought the animated dead body to the mortician to solve the problem
I think he tried cremation
it was agreat era flick too
like buckaroo banzai
 
towards the end of the film the dude slid himself into the cremation oven to escape the madness
cool
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

4everhung said:
what was that 80's horror flick with zombies?
it was hilarious and really well done
thye brought the animated dead body to the mortician to solve the problem
I think he tried cremation
it was agreat era flick too
like buckaroo banzai
Click to expand...

In your work, do you ever come across specimens that display advanced symptoms of zombieism? Say, someone with a lifelong overindulgance of polysorbates, soft drinks, and cigarettes. The pathology must be fascinating: :chainsaw:
 
4everhung said:
towards the end of the film the dude slid himself into the cremation oven to escape the madness
cool
Click to expand...
it was "Return of the Living Dead" starring Clu Gulager.
 
my zombie butler has a transplanted monkey brain
 
Re: What would you rather have: a pet monkey with a transplanted human brain or a....

fortunatesun said:
In your work, do you ever come across specimens that display advanced symptoms of zombieism? Say, someone with a lifelong overindulgance of polysorbates, soft drinks, and cigarettes. The pathology must be fascinating: :chainsaw:
Click to expand...
most people dig their own grave with a fork
 
"How Does It Feel"

I'm not afraid of anything
I just need to know that i can breathe
I don't need much of anything
But suddenly, suddenly

I am small and the world is big
All around me is fast moving
Surrounded by so many things
But suddenly, suddenly
 
"He Wasn't"

There's not much going on today.
I'm really bored, it's getting late.
What happened to my Saturday?
Monday's coming, the day I hate.
 
why this cute one loaded with cool lyrics isn't noticed as much as britanny


?
42v8ntj.jpg
 
"Things I'll Never Say"

I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

[pre-Chorus]
(Cause) I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah
 
4everhung said:
a young girl's mind
in song
Click to expand...

Off topic here man but I know youve struggled with alcohol. My current gf is trying to stop now. At one point she was drinking a fifth of vodka a day (is that a lot?) Now she is down to a few glasses sometimes more of wine everyday. I believe she is going to conquer this. How can I help her?
 
biteme said:
Off topic here man but I know youve struggled with alcohol. My current gf is trying to stop now. At one point she was drinking a fifth of vodka a day (is that a lot?) Now she is down to a few glasses sometimes more of wine everyday. I believe she is going to conquer this. How can I help her?
Click to expand...
by leaving her alone and going places that don't serve booze. Zombies don't need booze, human flesh is their vice....
 
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