What to do....

[FinaGod]

I know i'm going to get made fun of severly by some of you guys but oh well.. I'm more comfortable talking about this subject with strangers than someone I know.

About two years ago I dated this girl for several months. Well she moved and things just died off I guess. We still talk on occasion and see each other maybe once every 4 or 5 months. Well it's two years later and there hasn't been one day I haven't thought about her. Every time i speak to her or see her I feel just totally miserable for about a week after. It just drives me almost insane because I don't want to be just friends with her. I guess I love her or am in love with her, whichever. I've dated quite a few other girls since then, most IMO better looking than her. I just can't seem to get over her though. It's dragging me into depression. It's getting to were I just don't even feel right about myself anymore. I thought about trying to get on some type of medication because i'm just really not happy at all anymore, but I don't want to depend on a drug for my happiness. This goes completely against my personailty. There hasn't even been anything in my life that has bothered me so much, especially not some girl. To make things worse we now live in the same city because of were I attend college. What worries me the most is that i'm afraid i'm going to feel this way the rest of my life if some changes aren't made soon. I feel odd saying this, even more so to people I don't know because I'm not an open person about my feelings really. Maybe it would be best if I stopped talking to her all together ??? Anyway, bring on the jokes or advice, whichever floats your boat.

 

[Smurfy]

If you feel that strongly for her, why not be with her? Why are you torturing yourself. You obviously love this girl so be with her. Tell her how you feel.

 

[Irie]

Is attempting to date her again a possibility?
If so........go!

 

[CipherLock]

I find cork floats my boats quite nicely.

How old are you?
Have any of the more recent girls you have dated been for longer than this girl you dated for 'several months'?
Have you banged other chicks or just this one or none?

 

[jerkbox]

what's stopping you from restarting with her??


if that's what you want, you might as well go for it, instead of regretting not going for it.

 

[from zero]

I'm actually sort of in the same boat bro. Tell her how you feel.

 

[Seashell]

If she feels the way you feel, then you should be together.. but, if you know that the two of you won't be getting back together..
then I think it would really help if you stopped talking to her, totally. Keeping in touch, even infrequently makes it so much harder to get over a person. Especially if it's one you were/are in love with. Just my opinion, but that's the only thing that works for me .. the "no-talk-no-see" policy.

 

[hellboy]

If she doesn't know how you feel then you should tell her. If the situation is such that she just doesn't have the same feelings towards you then there's not much you can do except to distance yourself from her. Stop calling her. The good news is that you will NOT feel like this for the rest of your life. But you're gonna have to make an effort to get over her.

 

[spin721]

The truth is always a good thing.

 

[AAP]

You don't love her. You may think you do... but what you are going through is a case of wanting the most what you can't have. It is unavailability, the distance, the abscence of her that makes you "think" you love her. It is the lack of closure from the dating in the past that fuels "the chase" of today.

I can gurantee you that if you were to get involved with her, after a few months, it would lose it's sparkle. Not to say that she is a bad person and not worthy of relationship efforts, but I am saying that you will see her in a new light. Right now, she is the standard others are measured by simply because she is the "one that got away".

Trust me... we have all been there. When you are single or in a bad relationship, all your ex's seem to take on a magical charm they didn't have in the past.

Rather than stop talking to her... why not find a way to invite her for a weekend to do something. Either sexually or not... just be around her again for an extended amount of time and you may think differently. When I felt like this in the past, everytime I went out with someone I dated previously always reminded me why I was not going out with them anymore. And those were not necessarily bad reasons.

 

[Bullit]

Maybe you should give homosexuality a try?

 

[calveless wonder]

You don't love her. You may think you do... but what you are going through is a case of wanting the most what you can't have. It is unavailability, the distance, the abscence of her that makes you "think" you love her. It is the lack of closure from the dating in the past that fuels "the chase" of today.

I can gurantee you that if you were to get involved with her, after a few months, it would lose it's sparkle. Not to say that she is a bad person and not worthy of relationship efforts, but I am saying that you will see her in a new light. Right now, she is the standard others are measured by simply because she is the "one that got away".

Trust me... we have all been there. When you are single or in a bad relationship, all your ex's seem to take on a magical charm they didn't have in the past.

Rather than stop talking to her... why not find a way to invite her for a weekend to do something. Either sexually or not... just be around her again for an extended amount of time and you may think differently. When I felt like this in the past, everytime I went out with someone I dated previously always reminded me why I was not going out with them anymore. And those were not necessarily bad reasons.

yep..

btw you're only torturing yourself by still talking to her on occassion and not acting upon it(This is how guys manipulate attraction with girls in the first place), so either cease communication completely or talk to her and do something about it.

oh, and whatever you do....
don't listen to these dumbasses that say tell a girl how you feel. you NEVER tell a girl how you feel about her. it's a sure backfire 100% of the time. It will kill any sort of attraction and its a huge turnoff

 

[Y_lifter]

LOVE STINKS.... Yea Yea
Love stinks.... yea yea

 

[hellboy]

LOVE STINKS.... Yea Yea
Love stinks.... yea yea

I used to love her...
But I had to kill her...
She bitched so much
She drove me nuts
And now I'm happier this waaaaaay.

 

[AAP]

LOVE STINKS.... Yea Yea
Love stinks.... yea yea

And then you step in it.

 

[FinaGod]

I find cork floats my boats quite nicely.

How old are you?
Have any of the more recent girls you have dated been for longer than this girl you dated for 'several months'?
Have you banged other chicks or just this one or none?

22

No i've never dated anyone longer than her by my own choice. I've had a few chances for a long term relationship but I'm kinda afraid of any type of commitment now. I just blow them off.

Yes. Actually with the person i'm speaking about , we never had sex. Never really even fooled around that much. As far as I know she has never had sex with anyone. It's strange, to some anyway, because she is a very attactive girl.


We've both told each other at one time or another that we miss each other. She told me that she missed me first but i just ignored it because i thought she was just lonley at the moment and I was the only guy around at the time. A few months later I told her the same thing and she was like " Well, i don't really know what to say". Now we just act like nothing was ever said.

If i get another chance I'll tell her how I feel again even though it probably won't turn out how I would like. If it doesn't then I guess I'll tell her it will probably be best if we don't speak again. Something along those lines anyway, I really just don't know what to do.

Thanks for not making a joke about the situation.

 

[sconoscuito]

if you are in college join a frat.. that should do the trick in most cases...

 

[CipherLock]

If i get another chance I'll tell her how I feel again even though it probably won't turn out how I would like. If it doesn't then I guess I'll tell her it will probably be best if we don't speak again. Something along those lines anyway, I really just don't know what to do.

Make the chance, don't wait for it.

Much luck, and remember your friends Fina and Jack will always be there.

 

[FinaGod]

oh, and whatever you do....
don't listen to these dumbasses that say tell a girl how you feel. you NEVER tell a girl how you feel about her. it's a sure backfire 100% of the time. It will kill any sort of attraction and its a huge turnoff

This is true. Fuck it, if I see her again i'm just going to try and do her. There really isn't a need to treat her any different than I treat anyone else.

Maybe I should just look at it as her loss. You can take this with a grain of salt but I think I look better than you average guy based on some of the girls I've dated. I have better physique that you're average guy, and soon I'll have a good job with a great salary (I hope anyway). I'm too young to worry about something as insignifigant as this. If I can just keep this attitude I would be a lot better off. Plus I can just run a hugh ass cycle of test and fina, that will solve any problem

 

[CipherLock]

This is true. Fuck it, if I see her again i'm just going to try and do her. There really isn't a need to treat her any different than I treat anyone else.

I don't think any of us expected you to wear your heart on your sleeve and sobberingly beg her to love you - that approach gets disproven by the ColonCowboy everyday.

Play with some game, don't be weak or jaded like EVERYONE who tells you with EARNEST to treat em like bitches and hoes.