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What if Jesus came back today?

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HighIntensity

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What would happen...would anyone believe him...would he be tossed aside as a freak, institutionalized.
 
if he came back today we would not know it as teh bible says he will come as a thief in the night, you won't see him coming. boom, it's over. that quick. second, a lot of people would be out of luck. judgement day!
 
haha......jesus can't come back......cause he never existed!!!!
If the real "creator" ever decided to visit this shithole, ALL of us would be pretty much fucked once it realized what a mistake it made here.
 
he'd be all like

'if a woman gave me crap, i'd be all like.
HEY, listen, woman. why don't you go knit me a sweater, before i slap you in the face'

and so on
 
Then he would have to battle me for true ruler of the universe bwaahahahahah:mad:

Everyone talks about judgements days etc but my question is this.

If there was a supreme god ruler(insert religion here) ad he came and half the gang here is going to hell, the rest go to heaven.

Ok thats done, so what was the fucking point and what now.
We just fuck up heaven or hell like we did earth.
 
Last time I saw Jesus he was taking a piss in my garden. I need to see him anyway, as I hate to cut the lawn, and the grass is pretty high with all the rain.
 
You all are going to stop disrespecting me

you're right tho, i'm not coming back to that shithole you all call Earth
 
well, according to scripture, when Jesus comes back we should have alot of warning.

In Revelations it describes major world events that preceed the 2nd coming of Christ. In order:

1) the rapture - where all "true" Christians who believed *and* followed Gods Word, will be removed to heaven before the coming of the anti-Christ. The day of the Rapture marks the beginging of the 7 year period of tribulation

2) 3 1/2 years of relative peace. During this peaceful period, a one-world government will be formed. The Anti-Christ will come to power as leader of the one world government after brokering a historic peace deal between the Isreali's and Palistinines.

3) The Anti-Christ will institute a new system of trade that requires everyone to have the "mark of the beast" to buy or sell. The mark will have the characteristic numbers 666 visable. Anyone who accepts the mark will be eternally condemned forever, according to scripture in Revelations.

4) The Anti-Christ will mirrored by the "false prophet" who will institute a one world religion that will condemn traditional religions. During this time, Christians will be prosecuted for their faith. During this period, God Himself will cast a spirit of disbelief on humans. Only a select number of people will be saved from the supernatural deception imposed by the Anti-Christ
and the false prophet.

5) After 3 1/2 years of peace, the Anti-Christ will incite conflict between powerful terrotories (formally nations). This will be the begingings of WW3.

6) Sometime during this period, Revelation predicts the "Abomination that causes desolation" in Gods holy temple. Gods holy tempal, according to some Biblical scholars refers to the Tempal on the Mount in Jerusalem that was built over by Muslim invaders in the 6th century BCE. The Anti-Christ will use the Tempal Mount as their spiritual capital where the abomination is located. Some Biblical scholars beleive the abomination will be a form of AI that humans will bow down and worship.

(Proof: God creates a race of sentient beings to worship him. Humans create an sentient artifact AI (similar to Gods action when he created sentient humans) and submit before their creation. By humans marvelling in their own magnificance and submitting to their own creation, they effectivily *reverse* the divine order of worship God has instituted.

6) WW3 escalates. nuclear exchange is imminent. 1/3 of the worlds population dies to ensuing nuclear exchange and pestilence that encompasses the globe. 1/3 of the earth is burned. The West faces Islam and Communism in the proceeding ground assualt. Revelation predicts the formation of the 300 million man army coming from the East. Scholars assume its a Chinese occupation force destined for the Isreali region, Armageddon.

7) the West and East showdown at Armegeddon in Isreal. The battle to end all battles. Its at this point where Christ makes his triumphent return to prevent mankind from complete self-annihiliation

8) The dead rise and the human race is judged. People are either condemmed forever in eternal torment with Satan and his angels or live forever with Jesus and the Father in eternal glory and happiness


This is all taken out of the book of revelation. I beleive in Christ. Im not a model Christian but I beleive in Him.

chilling, isnt it? :)
 
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You people think in such 3-d terms.
None of you that have commented could ever grasp the frightening reality of afterlife so please stop talking about it. You annoy me, just stop.
 
Apparently John Brukemhiemer copied the last chapter of New Testament.

The special effects are going to be "killer"
 
I think if he came back Janet Reno would order the ATF to burn down his compound, along with all his followers.
 
J-DAM said:
I think if he came back Janet Reno would order the ATF to burn down his compound, along with all his followers.

You're probably right. I am so glad that ugly dike is out of office I am beside myself that she ever got in. What a moron.

Personally, I hope he doesn't come back right now. I have to many things wrong in my life. I am sure glad he is a forgiving God. Cause I need alot of forgiveness.
 
whats the big deal, were all just floating aimlessly on a big fucking rock anyway. enjoy it while you can
 
I'd tell him I saw every episode of the sit-com "Amen". And that I was gonna buy one of those fish you see on the back of peoples cars. And that I was gonna stop saying "GD".

Aw who am I kidding he's gonna send me to hell.
 
Sometimes it just seems like wishful thinking.
As if to say "anything but this mundane reality".
So far the Bible is pretty accurate, especially when you realize what's in the works.
 
minion said:
Sometimes it just seems like wishful thinking.
As if to say "anything but this mundane reality".
So far the Bible is pretty accurate, especially when you realize what's in the works.

agreed. Considering the recent international political climate, the lack of human conflict in recorded human history, and the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, its only a matter of time before the "big one".

I dont like it, but look at ourselves. Nobody gives a shit.
 
buddy28 said:


agreed. Considering the recent international political climate, the lack of human conflict in recorded human history, and the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, its only a matter of time before the "big one".

I dont like it, but look at ourselves. Nobody gives a shit.

So True, i mean we hardly even talked about what happen on sept 11 in school.

Some people treated it like another day
 
I was mentioning that at work the day after the 9/11 crisis. I was telling my co-workers it will be burried in obscurity, due to an overwhelming lack of direction. As soon as the rumor mill picks up pace there will be fools who will even suggest that it never happened at all, and other far fetched scenerios.
 
SHE would be born a black militant woman in southern Alabama!
 
Well according to Revelation, Heaven is to be inhabited by 144,000 men who have not been "defiled" by women (Sounds like a big circuit party to me .. I guess being "defiled" by men is a loophole). RE 14:1-4
 
Personally, I await the day. Anyone who lives righteous would.
Only yourself and God know the truth. No other human can judge you, for they can not see the whole truth.

So let me ask you city boy... are you scared?

I'm not.
--
 
Personally I question the "predictions" everyone is talking about, since the same book says saved people can drink poison and it won't harm them. (MK 16:17-18) So, everyone throw away those childproof locks and safety caps, and show how much you believe in God.
 
This must be the Hell Express thread! I'm kind of scared to post because God might get me mixed up with the others.

I'm with Crazier!
 
It seems a lot of people hold on to the ideas they were taught as 5 year olds in boarding school idea. If you misbehave, you go to hell. I disagree, and digress...

A high and mighty Christian lady, would cast me to hell for the steroid use I have done, and for smoking weed everyday. The implication to her that I may get in to heaven is atrocious. Yet, if you believe in God, enough to be scared of a heaven/hell environment... look to Jesus... he never judged anyone.

Whether you believe Jesus is the son of god is irrelevant for this conversation. The fact is there was a person named Jesus that was crucified on the cross. He led the life. The life we all should.
Jesus lived as if he could see people through their heart's, rather than their actions. That explains why he attended dinner parties, and conversed with known hookers, and sinners alike. He loved them. He could feel their pain, their sorrow, their love, and their remorse. Earlier I said a human does not have the wisdom to judge another human. Without being able to feel what's righteous to the human you are trying to judge, you are simply incapable of doing so.

If you feel you live righteous, meaning living day to day for the better good, following the 10 Commandments, and the instincts that you were given at birth, I fail to see why someone would be scared of Christ's coming... unless that idea had been inbedded into your mind by the religious leaders you have chosen, or forced as a child, to follow.

God is waiting with open arms for all of us... and the love he has to share, the exploding love... again, I await the day.

P.S. There will be no material possesions in Heaven Moneybag's... no need for a house/car/anything. Not that they won't exist, but there will be nothing to "fuck up" as we have Earth." Heaven is forever, Earth is not. Heaven is a mindset, Earth is not. Your body, or thetan prevents that possibility while in Human form.

Do right my friends.
--
 
JohnnyO said:
Well according to Revelation, Heaven is to be inhabited by 144,000 men who have not been "defiled" by women (Sounds like a big circuit party to me .. I guess being "defiled" by men is a loophole). RE 14:1-4

Those are enochs.....

People that go to heaven according to scripture = "saved" Christians + enochs + people who led a moral life who never heard the Word of God
 
Buddy28 has been reading his "Left Behind" series. Well, he's right. If the bible is right in the existence of Jesus Christ, then logically, the bible is also right about the circumstances around his return. His return is bad news for earth, indeed. His return means the end of the earth as we know it--end of discussion.
 
And there is a high mountain from which all the kingdoms of the world can be seen (and Satan has a ReMaxx office at the top) ... too many wierd and inconsistant stuff in THAT book to take anyone's literal return seriously.
 
68GT350

actually, I used to be a big fan of "Dr" Jack Van Impe and his weekly news broadcasts, if you could call them that.

His programs included alot of questionable confirming evidence about the apocolypse and Christs second coming, but the gist that I posted in this thread is all his work.

Its strange, his homepage www.jvim.com used to have all this info in FAQs, but now its not there. Possibly conspiracy perhaps?

hmm........
 
Jesus has come back. I saw him on the howard stern show a few days ago. He didnt have much to say. :angel:
 
68GT350 said:
Buddy28 has been reading his "Left Behind" series. Well, he's right. If the bible is right in the existence of Jesus Christ, then logically, the bible is also right about the circumstances around his return. His return is bad news for earth, indeed. His return means the end of the earth as we know it--end of discussion.

I don't see the logic in this.. the Bible wasn't predicting Jesus' actions, it was documenting them.
 
Donkeys speak Hebrew! (But my travels provide unscientific indicia that asses tend to speak French.) NU 22:21-30.
 
J-Dam

Revelations predicts Christs return and what will happen.
I guess the logic is this: if the gospels were accurate in documenting Christs life, theres a good chance the book of revelations was also divinily inspired since Christs actions and words reveal that he was who he said he was.
 
buddy28 said:
J-Dam

Revelations predicts Christs return and what will happen.
I guess the logic is this: if the gospels were accurate in documenting Christs life, theres a good chance the book of revelations was also divinily inspired since Christs actions and words reveal that he was who he said he was.

Well said. Hey buddy, you ever read the Left Behind Series. It'd be straight up your alley and is the #1 best selling Christian fiction book of all time. I'm currently on volume 9. Damn good reading whether you are Catholic or not.
 
buddy28 said:
J-Dam

Revelations predicts Christs return and what will happen.
I guess the logic is this: if the gospels were accurate in documenting Christs life, theres a good chance the book of revelations was also divinily inspired since Christs actions and words reveal that he was who he said he was.

But isn't documenting things that have already happened a bit easier to get right than predicting the future? :confused:
 
look people, take it from me, i have studied and continue to study the bible, revelations is figurative. there is no antichrist on the way, if you read the other books of the new testament you will see that there are many antichrists, not one. if you research the book of revatlations you will see that the old roman empire is the one world government you seek(remember the roman empire controled the known world at that time, the beast that is spoken of is the emporer(ceaser). trust me i could go on but it's pointless seeing most of the biblically religious world is bent on this idea of signs leading to doomsday. folks we've been in the last days since the day of pentecost and they only sign we are gonna get is well none. read the entire new testament, pick up some literature written by people who know what they are talking about not van impe or john hagee. if you do the research you will see that this idea of a one world government, the antichrist and such symbolic things you read in revalations has already come about. the only thing left is the second coming. i know this goes against common belief but i am a non denominational christian, meaning i don't affiliate with the bapstis, catholic, presbeterian or any other denominational church. they all have believe in the same bible true but they have their own books to follow which teach things not everyone believes plus they all have their own idea of what revelations means, i discredit them all for one reason. they don't read the entire bible and take it word for word. if they did they would see many flaws in their worship services that are and are'nt supposed to be there. again i'm not going into it as it is pointless. if you want me to go into it more email me and i'll do my best to explain it. peace.
 
The crucifix is already the highest grossing mass-market piece of merchandise sold worldwide in the history of mankind.

$$$beLIEve$$$
 
68Gt350

I may check out that series. Sounds interesting.

J-Dam

I understand, but theoretically, if the Bible was inspired, at least in part by God, could he not predict the future and have a human write it down?

Sushi -

Im not a Biblical scholar so I cant say one way or the other. However, there are some explicit descriptions of future events that cant be mistaken for figurative speech in Revelations

1) 300 million man army
2) mark of the beast ----- 666 ---- "no man or women can buy or sell without the mark"
3) 1/3 of human race dies, 1/3 of the earth is burned

These events, to my knowledge, have never occured. Other passages describing the one-world government, the definition of what qualifies as an empire, are all subject to personal interpratation. So some claims are more valid then others.

But if you can explain the 3 i listed, Im open to suggestions.
 
buddy. like i said i won't go into further on the board, i will however be happy to go look at some materials i have and share them with you via email. just drop me a priv message with some contact info and i'll get that to you. i've got someone else wanting some of the same info but like i told them i have to do a little research for school aslo and that project is due next monday so it may take a little time but i'll get to it asap.

oh, it's 200 millions, not 3. ;)
 
Latimer said:
The crucifix is already the highest grossing mass-market piece of merchandise sold worldwide in the history of mankind.

$$$beLIEve$$$

Well Praise the Lord Christ didn't come in modern times .. wearing a little electric chair or lethal injection machine around my neck wouldn't look nearly as cool.
 
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