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What if I told you...
- Thread starter EnderJE
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KaitlinJRob1982
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I think its stupid. Grass is always greener. dont confuse infactuation with love.
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
also its sad to think someone else will make you happy. No one should hold that responsibility. You cannot make someone happy until you are happy yourself first.
EnderJE said:
I'd tell you that you're a gawd damn fool to leave someone you are with for someone else.
If your marriage is in the shitter and you're not happy then 100% leave. But don't do it to pursue another relationship that may end in demise also. You should first concentrate on you and search for reasons why things didn't work the first time.
Sure she makes you smile, Didn't your wife do the same at first? You are an intelligent man EJ, at first its all smiles and fun, then realities of life kick in... she bitches because you didn't put the toilet seat down, or you didn't rinse out the sink.. you bitch because she leaves her makeup all over the counter and left the dishes in the sink overnight.
If you up and leave your family to pursue another realationship it will put a huge strain on more than just your wife. It will make for a very ugly situation and most prolly screw with her head big time.
I say If you are gonna leave her, then do it. Be honest with her and try to leave on good terms.
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
KillahBee said:
I agree. if it works out, then great, if not then you deserve the shittiness. Like I said before, grass is always greener and what erzulies said is also right.
Remember, do not confuse infactuation with love.
Quadsweeps Sister
New member
KaitlinJRob1982 said:
That is some smart *uggin advice right here. No shit.
KaitlinJRob1982
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Quadsweep's Sister said:
obligado
KaitlinJRob1982
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also if you are gonna dump your wife and kids over some new ass, just remember Karma is a reality and maybe later down the road this homewrecker will leave you
KaitlinJRob1982
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i hope you are kidding.Raina said:
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
hmmm
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
LOL i saw that you arent slick enderje
Like the old saying goes Ender- "behind every hot chick is a guy sick of fucking her". Just explain that to your wife. Let your kids know you love them and stuff. Offer to send them a lot of presents. Kids love presents. Let's face it, having a family and a mortgage and all that isn't fun.
It sounds like the best decision you could make right now would be to go out and nail some hotties. I'm pretty sure I heard that on Dr Phil once.
It sounds like the best decision you could make right now would be to go out and nail some hotties. I'm pretty sure I heard that on Dr Phil once.
I know that you must be kidding. I can't believe that you can be as cold as that. I'm having a hard time with this whole affair right now. I expected so much more from you. What happened to the girl that I used to know? What happened to all those lovey dovey PMs that we used to share?Raina said:
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
EnderJE said:
how come you dont like MY avatar?? lol
I don't get the impression you're talking quite the situation I had but I'll weigh in ...EnderJE said:
My current husband and I did it and I only have ONE thing I regret about it (and next month we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary, after being together for 12 years total).
My ONE regret???? That we waited. We both wish we'd done it the minute we realized HOW much we loved each other. You see, we were both married to other people and we were, point blank, scared to death (you know what they say about fearing fear???). Instead of having an affair, worrying about who was going to be hurt, worrying about the kids, worrying about stuff, fearing breaking up the households, stealing time, we should have just taken the plunge. We hurt more people by putting things off.
But after 12 years, he still makes me smile
Trust and laughter, what the hell does a good relationship come down to? My number one rule for marriage #1 Marry Your Best Friend.
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
MuscleMom said:I don't get the impression you're talking quite the situation I had but I'll weigh in ...
My current husband and I did it and I only have ONE thing I regret about it (and next month we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary, after being together for 12 years total).
My ONE regret???? That we waited. We both wish we'd done it the minute we realized HOW much we loved each other. You see, we were both married to other people and we were, point blank, scared to death (you know what they say about fearing fear???). Instead of having an affair, worrying about who was going to be hurt, worrying about the kids, worrying about stuff, fearing breaking up the households, stealing time, we should have just taken the plunge. We hurt more people by putting things off.
But after 12 years, he still makes me smile
Trust and laughter, what the hell does a good relationship come down to? My number one rule for marriage #1 Marry Your Best Friend.
i think it would be asinine to tell that story as if it were commonplace in this kind of situation. Congrats on your "success" but 9.9 times out of ten, you end up hurting people for selfish, impulsive, confused reasons.
u should be more responsible in your advice giving.
KaitlinJRob1982
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EnderJE said:
i was being sarcastic lol i was referring to your disappearing post
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
EnderJE said:
i understand. but i hope you read my posts. i wasnt joking, just giving my own genuine honest advice.
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
Erzulie said:
i know. that was an idiotic post.
at anyone that is taking Ender seriously.
Well congratulations, you just pissed me the fuck off and that takes a lot, believe it or not.KaitlinJRob1982 said:
First of all, if you'd been on this board for more than a couple of weeks you'd know that I'm not generally renowned for giving BAD advice, and I don't need a kid who is two years younger than my oldest child telling me how responsible I should or should not be. Little FYI, Kiddo, when I first started having marital difficulties you were a grand total of 10 whole years old -- I had been married eight years already. What do you think you are going to tell me about marriage?
Secondly, I sure as SHIT don't appreciate being called an ass by anybody on this board. If anyone's an ass, go look in a mirror.
Thirdly, Ender asked advice, what kind of a retard do you think he is that he'll base his life actions on advice he solicits on the internet?
Finally, if one partner in a long term relationship is having long term affairs the relationship is on life support. Generally speaking, an affair that involves strong emotional feelings means the primary relationship is DOA, no amount of electroshock is going to resuscitate it. A marriage can survive a one night stand, or even a couple of one night stands, but VERY few can survive FULL BLOW affairs that involve emotional commitment. The vast majority of people are incapable of having strong romantic feelings for more than one individual at any given time. If a person is to the point where they are considering "throwing it all away," that is a VERY strong feeling.
What does end up happening is people get bitchy, they get hurt, and they get resentful and start playing nasty games with property, money, and kids.
No matter what you've read in Cosmo, people don't fall in love with someone else when they're still in love with the person they're married to.
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
MuscleMom said:
LOL whoa. you too? you should leave your husband now for swole. you guys would be perfect.
EnderJE said:
It's hard to explain, you've either been there and understand or haven't been and are judgemental. I used to be in the judgemental camp, karma has a funny way of opening your eyes and mind.Erzulie said:
Long story short, you either are in love with your spouse or you are not. If you are not in love with your spouse it's only a matter of time before someone becomes involved with another person.
I've never said what happened in the end of my first marriage was right, but it would have been LESS wrong if we hadn't drug it out. More people were hurt more deeply by the affair.
What's funny is women are consistently pissier about this than men. Guys are like, yeah, I can see that, and women are "OMG HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!" which just makes me turn around and go, "and you wonder why they cheat on you ..."
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
MuscleMom said:
So you are soooo much smarter and better than us "girls" because it empowers you to make your own selfish choices when it comes your family and life?
I applaud you. This would make a great cover story.......in the playboy forum
GoldenDelicious
New member
i agree with you 100%!KaitlinJRob1982 said:
i also think that people shouldnt confuse infactuation with infatuation
cheerios, chip chip and all that rot
mrplunkey
New member
She does seem to have some profound opinions on things for a 23 year old who still lives at home and hasn't graduated college yet.MuscleMom said:
I'm starting to thing that she's an alter and pulling people's chains. If not, she's just someone who thinks they have all the answers at 23. I remember those days, but I was 21 at the time. STEEEEEEEEEEEEEP learning curve ahead!
mrplunkey
New member
Oh wow... so 99% of the time these situations don't work out? Stats please... you're a high-octane college student headed off to law school. I'm sure you'd never cite a statistic like that without a reference to a refereed publication. Mind posting us the link to the article?KaitlinJRob1982 said:
J
jenscats5
Guest
mrplunkey said:
*sigh*
It's so nice to have ALL the answers to clearly Black & White issues at such a young age with NO pertinent life experience or references to base it on....Wonderful to have these All-knowing youngsters running the world....
KaitlinJRob1982
New member
well i will admit i am highly opinionated but when it comes to a parent "leaving" their family for a selfish reason like lust or infatuation, i hits close to home thats all. so I will apologize. i was getting too personal. my real dad left my mom when she was still pregnant with me and i never forgave or forgot that.
sorry. i shouldnt have been so judgemental.
sorry. i shouldnt have been so judgemental.
Your 23 with zero life experience who are you to judge? Cheating ain't my thing but I never judge someone tell I have been in there shoes.KaitlinJRob1982 said:
J
jenscats5
Guest
KaitlinJRob1982 said:
While I don't have any statistical evidence, etc to base this on..........I think that in a lot of cases it's not as simplistic as this....I'm sure there's a LOT more to it than what you listed.....
This thread is getting drama filled just what you wanted ho.EnderJE said:
Eh I was thinking about you at work today actually thinking about your company then started dreaming seeing dollar signs and shit. Good your company is a cash cow just waiting to be taped. I can't wait to tap that ass 
When I was able to tell my ex I wanted out, when his threats of homicide or suicide no longer frightened me (ever have a 6'5" 265 pound man threaten to kill you? or Himself? your kid?) Finally, though, I hit my limit and didn't CARE if he killed himself, or ME, and I looked my soon to be ex husband in the eye and said "TAKE IT ALL YOU GREEDY PIG, but you ain't taking my son, I WANT OUT!"KaitlinJRob1982 said:
He took it all, too. He even went through my jewelry box and helped himself to not only pieces he bought me, but pieces I'D bought for myself. He even took clothing that I had forgotten when I hauled out.
He refused to pay a dime towards the divorce, and he purposely drug his feet, costing me additional lawyer fees. It eventually cost me close to $5,000.
Real sport.
Yeah, a marriage really worth saving.
My son told me, years later, that his father used to beat the shit out of him (gut punches, crap that didn't leave marks, we are talking under 13) when I was at work. Nice guy. Kid didn't tell me because his father threatened him with worse. My son's big goal in life was to get big enough and strong enough to beat the shit out of his father ... he did, too.
SHIT when I was 23 I had, most emphatically, learned I didn't know diddley squat, I was the mother of a 3 year old and was working nights cleaning offices to help meet household bills ...mrplunkey said:
The first time you work until 10:00 p.m. mopping floors and pulling garbage and then you come home, sit up most of the night with a croupy toddler, and then get up after an hour and a half to make your husband breakfast at 6:00 a.m. you start to realize you don't know SHIT.
mrplunkey
New member
I'm 38 now and I'm still afraid that I don't know what I don't know. It's just that at 21, I didn't know that I was going to find out that I don't know what I don't know. At least I know that much now.musclemom said:
And as far as a family break-up with kids. Those situations (including my own) are INFINTELY complex -- tons of moving parts. It's never just "lust" or "money" or "kid raising".
GoldenDelicious
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"highly opinionated" in girlspeak generally translates to "will cause testicles to quadruple in size due to annoyingness" in boyspeakKaitlinJRob1982 said:
covergrl80
New member
She may make you laugh now and in a few months you will be crying to get what you had back. Are you to weak to make your family work?
J
jenscats5
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EnderJE said:
SINNER!!!
J
jenscats5
Guest
EnderJE said:
I don't hate you for that - I hate you because you're beautiful....
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