What gives you the desire?

[Night Fly]

I have been waiting and waiting for the desire...that fire that I hear so many people talk about having. I am really struggling in the fact that I feel motivated for a few days and then it all goes down the drain. I cannot seem to keep my focus...and my desire for doing whatever is it that I am doing...just goes away. What happens to it....I don't know.

This is really a problem for me...because I want several things very badly...but I just lose the desire.

Can you all help me with this? I know that people say that I have to WANT it bad before I really do something about it...but the thing is...I really do want it...bad. Am I just confused or something? If you all have any words of advice....please help me....because it is affecting not only my goal for weight loss....but my desire to get in the gym and do cardio like I have been meaning to for the past...oh...3 WEEKS!!!!

What do I do???

 

[Night Fly]

And if you all need specifics...please do not be afraid to ask....I just didn't want to list them all in my first post.

 

[Night Fly]

Specifics.... Let's hear it.

Haha...how did I know that you would say that.

Okay...well...

I decided that I wanted to do bodybuilding...tried that for a while....and got tired of it. Couldn't hang with the diet...tried several times and finally just gave up because I just kept disappointing myself.

After that...I took about 2 months off from the gym. I then tried to get back into it....and it worked for a little bit...but things kept coming up and I just couldnt' make it back to the gym.

Now, I have decided that I want to do strongman. And right now...I am really into it...I am going to do my first competition on May 18th. Well, some people (especially you, Spatts), know that I have been struggling with my weight. Well, I am trying to do this weight loss program...and even though I have to go 'check in' 2 times a week...I still cannot do it. I know that I want so badly to get stronger in the gym...so losing a ton of weight is not feasible at this point...but I would at least like to lose about 15 pounds to be a bit smaller. I am a large girl, as you all have seen in my back picture.

I have no self confidence because of the fact that I cannot tackle this stupid weight...it is really ruining my outlook on life at the moment. I have a hard time being happy with everything in my life because my weight is such a huge setback for me.

By no means is this meant to be a sympathy thread...so please feel free to be harsh if you want with your advice...I do not wear my feelings on my sleeve. I just want to know, basically, how you all got the desire to achieve what you all have.

Am I going to have to just bottom out before I realize what I have to do for myself? I mean...am I going to have to gain another 50 lbs to finally help myself get rid of that stubborn 15 that I stress so much over? This is ridiculous because I wake up feeling like I look awful...I hate even looking at my body in the shower...and especially the mirror...and it just seems to get worse and worse.

I really do not know what to do.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ok because I have a softspot in my heart for you, I will give it to you straight.

Happiness doesn't come from how you look, or the job you do, a man, child, whatever.... it comes from the INSIDE. Trust me, I have spent most of my adult learning this. Once you realize that you need to look inside to find what has been holding you back then you will either A)accept it or B)change it. This is the first step.

I remember my oldest asking me a few months ago (when I was on the brink of "getting it"), "Mommy, do you hate your life?" (I am sure the child heard this from my lips more than once.) And I said, "No honey... are their aspect of my life that I hate or at least don't like? Absolutely, but you know what? I'll just change them." She was taken aback and asked, "Mommy, can you REALLY do this?" I said, "ABSOLUTELY!"....not only did SHE believe me.... BUT I BELIEVED ME.

True, I am a bit happier when I am in my best shape, but it doesn't solve ANY of my large problems and on those occasions when I do let myself go a bit, I just enjoy the fact that I had a good time getting fat and happy and buckle down and do what needs to be done to get where I want to be. That is because I have perspective on the rest of my life.

It's late D and I am tired... but I hope that I helped to some degree.

 

[Night Fly]

OK, woman, snap out of it.

What do you want? Do you want to be a bodybuilder? Do you want to lose "weight?" Do you want to be strong? Are you doing this because you feel pressured by anyone who is a PL? WHAT DO YOU WANT? You can't do it all, at least not at once...

What moves you more than anything? What do you see, and then want so bad you can't stand it?

I do NOT want to be a bodybuilder...I DO want to lose weight....and I DEFINITELY want to be strong. I do not feel pressured by anyone to achieve certain goals with my strength...I want to achieve them for myself...because it makes me feel good. I want to lose some weight and become stronger...but can I do that? Is that possible?

What moves me? When I see women who look good enough to wear sleeveless shirts and have some cuts in their arms....when I see women who look good with nothing on...I am not saying this because I feel as though I need to be ripped....just would like to have some extra fat off. I am driven by women who are strong...

You know....I just have a goal that I want to be able to look good not only for the summer...but from now on.

I am not whining...so I don't want anyone to think that....I am really just stuck at how to get that FIRE...to make me want it....you know?

 

[Night Fly]

Ok because I have a softspot in my heart for you, I will give it to you straight.

Happiness doesn't come from how you look, or the job you do, a man, child, whatever.... it comes from the INSIDE. Trust me, I have spent most of my adult learning this. Once you realize that you need to look inside to find what has been holding you back then you will either A)accept it or B)change it. This is the first step.

I remember my oldest asking me a few months ago (when I was on the brink of "getting it"), "Mommy, do you hate your life?" (I am sure the child heard this from my lips more than once.) And I said, "No honey... are their aspect of my life that I hate or at least don't like? Absolutely, but you know what? I'll just change them." She was taken aback and asked, "Mommy, can you REALLY do this?" I said, "ABSOLUTELY!"....not only did SHE believe me.... BUT I BELIEVED ME.

It's late D and I am tired... but I hope that I helped to some degree.

E....thank you so much for that. The part about what you said to your child really made me think.

I know I have to change it...I just need to figure out how.

 

[Night Fly]

OK...so you want to be strong and a little leaner. This is going to be about diet and supplementation. What risks are you willing to take? This determines how patient you have to be.

Risks? Do you mean as in....am I willing to do a cycle? The answer is yes to that question...and I can be patient when I need to be.

 

[b fold the truth]

My honest opinions...darlin'

"This is really a problem for me...because I want several things very badly...but I just lose the desire. "

-----I hope that I don't fall into this category.


"I decided that I wanted to do bodybuilding...tried that for a while....and got tired of it. Couldn't hang with the diet...tried several times and finally just gave up because I just kept disappointing myself."

-----Did you really want to diet? When I do not have my mind on dieting...I don't. I have to really want it before I will actually eat low calorie foods and put away the pizza, whole milk, and hamburger helper. If it is not what you want, then don't do it.

"After that...I took about 2 months off from the gym. I then tried to get back into it....and it worked for a little bit...but things kept coming up and I just couldnt' make it back to the gym. "

-----You were driving to KY way too much..haha..or not enough


"Now, I have decided that I want to do strongman. And right now...I am really into it...I am going to do my first competition on May 18th. Well, some people (especially you, Spatts), know that I have been struggling with my weight. Well, I am trying to do this weight loss program...and even though I have to go 'check in' 2 times a week...I still cannot do it. I know that I want so badly to get stronger in the gym...so losing a ton of weight is not feasible at this point...but I would at least like to lose about 15 pounds to be a bit smaller. I am a large girl, as you all have seen in my back picture."

-----Not checking into the weight loss program? You are paying money and not checking into it? Why do you do it? Just don't if you do not want to...be happy. You do NOT have a ton of weight to lose...I promise.


"I have no self confidence because of the fact that I cannot tackle this stupid weight...it is really ruining my outlook on life at the moment. I have a hard time being happy with everything in my life because my weight is such a huge setback for me."

-----I don't think that your weight has anything to do with your lack of self-confidence. I know you better than ANYONE on this board, maybe better than you. I look into your eyes and see who you really are...the person that you do not even see. There is a lot in your life that you have to get together in order to have self confidence...just as I do. My weight, as well as yours, has little to do with it darlin'.

"By no means is this meant to be a sympathy thread...so please feel free to be harsh if you want with your advice...I do not wear my feelings on my sleeve. I just want to know, basically, how you all got the desire to achieve what you all have."

-----I never cease to believe that I can achieve. What the mind of a man can conceive and believe, the mind of a man can achieve with a positive mental attitude.

"Am I going to have to just bottom out before I realize what I have to do for myself? I mean...am I going to have to gain another 50 lbs to finally help myself get rid of that stubborn 15 that I stress so much over? This is ridiculous because I wake up feeling like I look awful...I hate even looking at my body in the shower...and especially the mirror...and it just seems to get worse and worse."

-----Bottom out? Most people do...or come darn near close. You are young and have your life ahead of you...never forget that. Beyond me, your family, cars, job...YOU have YOUR life ahead of you and you can take with you what YOU want to!!! You know that I love looking at your body...but you have to love it too. I have only been comfortable with having my shirt off in any type of situation...since my first strongman contest. I have gained confidence from positive influences in my life...including competing. Well, and I am also considered "ripped" for a strongman..haha.

"I really do not know what to do."

-----You know what I would say. Prayer, love, kindness, friends, and belief.

B True

 

[b fold the truth]

Thanks. I felt bad because this thread was sparked by a conversation that she and I had earlier today. She doesn't have that fire in her eyes to do this yet. YET!!! The flame is lit...but not glowing hot just yet.

Most people who are new to lifting (less than 5 full hard years) do not have that fire. I am quieter in the gym now...but I want it more. A friend of mine told me the other day that he noticed that I was quieter when I trained than I used to be...but I look different in my eyes when I train. I am focused, I have a goal, I know what I want. I am yet to step up to the 1st place marker on that podium. YET!!!

I have always had that desire to train very hard...but till I competed...I never had the focus and determination. I truly believe that her contest will have her hooked and loving it. It will allow her to realize what true focus is...and how she can be ready for the next contest. Focus, fire, determination, desire. YET!!!

I am considered fat by most everyone on here...but I do not care. My sport, and competition, gives me the confidence to stand next to Mr. Ripped and Mr. Tanned and be perfectly happy with myself and my appearance. Self confidence comes from within. God can help a lot too.

YET!!!

B True

 

[new@gettinbig]

Ok girl first of all RLEAX!! You are way to critical of yourself...step back and take a deep breath...Everything starts with ATTITUDE! You control how you think...feel...react...etc...You have a choice as to what kind of day you will have....YOU MUST BE POSITIVE...YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF...you can do just about ANYTHING if you PUT YOUR MIND TO IT...but you have to do that...and to do that you have to have faith in yourself and love yourself...be happy w/ who you are and what you have to offer...you have gifts that no one else in this world does...remember this. It doesn't matter if you are a bodybuilder and compete in 10 shows...or if you are the strongest chick in the world...none of that matters...it is a hobby...a sport....an activity...it does not MAKE U! It is NOT who you are...it can be a big part of you, but it is not your entire life..The important things in life are you, your mental health, physical health, family and friends...nothing else matters...and when you start to put this into perspective..you will see yourself in a whole new light...

Set small goals for yourself...daily goals..not big 2 years down the road goals. Take it ONE day at a time..you will fall here and there but that is ok...it will just make you stronger down the line...make a calender..go to the gym at regular times...and mark it down like an appt...keep a schedule and stick to it..reward yourself for doing it...like cds...clothes....massage..whatever. Keep pictures up to inspire you...read the boards for help and encouragement. Take control of yourself and push yourself to do what has to be done...your body is going to want to go the other direction..it doesnt want to be pushed...you have to take it there...and keep it there. Take breaks from the gym every 3 months or so...allow a cheat day every 1-2 weeks...so you dont feel deprived. There are so many ways you can do this and find what works for you...just seek it out!

 

[Bikini Mod]

B - you sound so much like another southerner that is so very near and dear to me...

Yes, it comes from WITHIN and nobody can do it for you or even truly help you to find it. The work has do be done by that individual alone.... but that doesn't mean they have to BE alone.

Yes, I agree you do often times have to hit rock bottom before you realize all the wonderful gifts that life has afforded you, all that you have known was there, but taken for granted because of the quest to find what makes you happy. Funny, it's kind of like "The Wizard of Oz".... we always have it all along, because it comes from WITHIN US, we just lose sight of this sometimes. But the good news is that once we rediscover all the wonder and beauty that comes from within us, everything else in the external world becomes so much more beautiful, amazing and attainable.

When people ask me, "How are you?" My answer is usually, "I can't complain." If they don't accept my answer for whatever reason I elaborate, "I am healthy, my children are all healthy and with me. Anything else that I want, can be attained." It took me a lifetime of experiences to come to that realization.....

And yes, I do agree spirituality helps with focus.

I am preparing for a contest but couldn't really get the proper fire because I couldn't find the right motivation. I knew my girls would love and be proud of me whether I was fat and happy and white as a sheet or ripped, protanned and ready to compete. My friends would still be my friends regardless and I didn't have the need or desire to impress a man. Finally it occured to me that if I could prove to myself that I could compete NOW (with all that is currently going on in my life) and compete WELL then I would be proving to myself that I am mentally, emotionally, and physically strong enough to handle ANYTHING that I decide to do in the future. My future will be far harder than anything that is behind me, but if I can prove this TO MYSELF then I will be easier regardless because I WON'T BE AFRAID TO TRY.... AS I WON'T BE AFRAID OF FAILURE.... I JUST WON'T BE AFRAID.

D - you need to decide what it is you TRULY want FOR YOU - not what you THINK others expect of you. Supplemetation is DEFINITELY NOT going to help you get what you want.... Science is an AID to intense training and proper diet - it doesn't MAKE UP FOR IT.

Listen to what Bfold is telling you.... My best friends had been telling me for MONTHS - one, in particular. I heard them, but wasn't listening. I had to figure everything out on my own... I had been through emotional hell (I am sure that Bfold filled you in) but in the end, I became stronger because I DID IT! ME - NO ONE ELSE - BUT ME! And do you know WHO I did it for?! Not my children, not my family, not my friends, not to prove all the people who turned their backs on me and made my life hell wrong...... BUT TO MYSELF... I PROVED IT TO MYSELF!

D - what do you want to prove to yourself? Seriously ask yourself this question....

PS - though I took a MUCH LONGER drive than you the other day and had to drive back home THE NEXT day after VERY LITTLE SLEEP (tee-hee) I STILL TRAINED when I got there - ALONE and DEVASTATED It was one of the most intense workouts I had ina while - LOL) and when I returned home - STILL ALONE BUT HAPPIER THAN I HAD BEEN IN A LOOOOOONG TIME. See, I have a show to do and nothing short of serious illness will keep me from reaching my goal of competing and competing well. I have A LOT to prove to myself and I am MY OWN WORST CRITIC so believe me when I tell you that this is PLENTY OF MOTIVATION!

 

[Sassy69]

NF --

I think what a lot of people are saying here but without actually using the word -- desire is one thing -- this is what helps you set those long term goals and gives you that ethereal vision of what would be perfect -- for ex -- I *desire* to see myself first on stage taking the first place & overall trophy, and then I *desire* to see myself sitting on the beach in Tahiti w/ my tight ass & hot as shit boyfriend, when out of nowhere comes this photographer who says he's a modelng agent and offers me a contract to be the model / spokesperson for this newly released, FDA-approved HGH perfume that makes u smell good, grow the perfect sized boobs and brings you to a 12% bf w/ muscle that somehow still keeps you completely healthy.

(Sounds pretty good huh?)

I don't know about the modeling thing & the answer-to-all-your-sorrows HGH, but the trip to the stage & the beach scene are totally realistic. But what's going to get me there is more than desire - its dedication & discipline as well. The key is having the vision to seeing the long view, but living the day-to-day. Here's an ex, when I committed to doing my first competition, there was definitely the fear & the thrill of doing it for the first time & still seeing the "glamour" of it all. I scheduled myself for 16 weeks of prep -- I thought I would die trying to stick to a diet for 4 whole months. NOW, i'm looking at doing another comp -- except i'm giving myself 6 months & i'm nervous at 5 months out about not having enough time. I have a much better view of how much work it takes to get from here to there & how patient you have to be to do it.

Like new said - babysteps --set up a diet, cardio, training & challenge yourself to stick to it for 3 weeks. Don't even look in the mirror if you are gonna get depressed about it. And watch yourself -- see if you *feel* differently - more energy,. sleep better, etc. Before you see the physical changes, watch to see if you can increase your weights or reps w/ each week -- take those improvements as measures of your progress. If you get caught up in expectations that arent' realistic (lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks) then you are setting yourself up to be defeated. If your expectation is to add 10 more lbs to your leg press - then do it.
But also remember that there are going to be plenty of times where you just can't look at another chicken or you just dont' feel like doing cardio. (I could lift all day every day, so that's not a problem) -- but that's where you just have to suck it up and go -- DISCIPLINE - and just trust that you will not only feel better following the endorphin rush from training, or knowing that you resisted the demon (m&ms!) one more time, but also that it WILL pay off in 3 weeks' time. When you complete 3 weeks & cam honestly say you stuck to the clean diet & training & cardio, then you will surely see results --> thus your motivation.

For those moments when the "fire" doesn't appear (like at 5:59 am before your alarm goes off for AM cardio...),. let discipline take over. Even if you are willing to run a cycle or whatever additional supplements -- doesn't matter ifyou dont' have the discipline & the basics down to do the diet, cardio & training. Furthermore, all your previous attempts at starting this regimen should tell you -- if you dont' stick w/ it, it dont' work!

We all go thru the same shit every day of our lives, but the answer I keep coming back to is consistent, dedicated, disciplined diet, training, cardio. Here's a side note -- I used to hate AM cardio because it cut into my sleep time -- now I LOVE it because its what helps me fall asleep at night. Some days there is nothng I want more than to be able to fall asleep when i got to bed.

Hope that helps ...! The one thing I learned about competition -- if you're gonna do it, do it. If not, don't. But dont' bitch about the results because you will get out of it exactly what you put into it.

 

[luvs2workout]

NF --- I cant really add anything that hasnt been said already, but If you need someone Im here for ya --- you can do it girl --- you just gotta believe that you can!!!

 

[Temple]

NF - I have been where you are and could go back there very easily. Here are a few things that have helped. I function best oftentimes at the second grade level (honest to God). Do you remember those Star Charts that you had back then - when you got to put a gold star up every time you did it well?
I'm not that extreme but I do keep a month at a glance calendar with big squares, every time I train or do cardio it goes in the box, when the diet was perfect I get a star. There are day when I do cardio simply so I can write it in the box.

The other day my husband accused me of being more than a little anal about my diet and training - he wasn't being critical, just making an observation. I told him that I have to be that way as I could be on the couch with a bag of chips and a soda in nothing flat. The rigidity is what keeps me moving. The consistent momentum has now been back in place for a few months and the motivation is changing and the desire is increasing. It is kind of an inertia thing.

 

[SteelWeaver]

What Temple and Sassy said - it's oxymoronic, but rigidity keeps ME going too. It's on the schedule. Simple. I don't - won't - almost CAN'T - deviate.

Diet is pre-planned, and I don't eat anything that's not on it .... OK, OK, I have some sugar free jelly sometimes, and occasionally I don't weigh a spoonful of cottage cheese or carrot. I carb-up once a week at the moment. I make a list of all the things I'm craving during the week, - yeah, I write them down (sometimes they actually go away if I write them down) and carb-up night is when I eat them - so I always know that I only have to hold on for a few more days - cheat night is a mental saving grace. Eating the same thing every day makes it easier, too - I don't have to think about it - it's when you start thinking about it that it becomes something that you can CHOOSE, IMO - don't think, just focus, plan and DO. If you wake up at 5:30 am for cardio, don't THINK about whether you're gonna do it or not - there is no choice - just get your ass our of bed and GO.

I train on the same days every week (maybe not ideal in some respects, but for scheduling rigidity, it works), and schedule anything else that comes up AROUND training - no choices, no questions. If ABSOLUTELY unavoidable, I'll train on a Friday night instead of Saturday morning, otherwise, if it's a training day, I'm in the gym (barring being very ill). My programme is also pre-planned, so I'm never standing there thinking, mmm, what exercise should I do next?? I know what to do, and do it.

As for the fire ... I don't know where it came from. It just snowballed (bonfired?) from wanting to be fit and strong, to wanting to be muscly, to realising if I had muscles, I should compete, and if I competed, training and diet would have to fit the bill PROPERLY. Now the image I have in my mind of myself on comp. day, shredded, tanned, and grinning like a mad thing pops up every time I feel a bit slack. When I think I can't do one more rep., I think of the girl next to me on the stage who DID do it, when I want that extra bit of potato, I think of the girl next to me on stage who did NOT eat it - and that makes two or 3 more reps easy, makes it simple to drop the potato.

And of course, a little ego-stroking helps: I went out last night for the first time in forever, to a women's event that happens every year - saw a LOT of women I haven't seen in ages, and spring is springing, so of course I had my tank top on. Whew! What fun! I had one half of the room eating out of my hand, and the other half drooling - ha ha hah ha ha ha haaaah!!!



And I'm not even that cut yet!

I agree, diet's the hardest part. Pre-planning REALLY helps, and every time you feel deprived, put whatever it is on your cheat night/refeed list, and think of how your body will look 15 pounds leaner, and even better - how it will FEEL. Cutting things out slowly also helps - pick one bad item every couple of weeks, and toss it - replace it with a healthier alternative. Cottage cheese for cheese. Coffee ... herbal tea for beer (!) Oatmeal for cereal/bread, etc.

Set up a plan, then follow it. Ready, set ... now one step at a time - GO!

 

[Temple]

LOL Steel - are we related?
That is exactly IT - NOT NEGOTIABLE.

 

[Night Fly]

Wow...what can I say? Everyone's replies are just wonderful. Just reading this thread makes me motivated.

I can honestly say that I think the huge month calendar will work for me, because I am one of those really anal people who likes to write down EVERYTHING...well..except for what I eat...

I am going to try a few things in here and see how they go. You ladies are helping me out so much...thank you thank you...THANK YOU!!!!

I woke up today with a new attitude...and I am going to try my darndest to not let it fade after 3-4 days. I will have to keep coming back to this thread....no wait....I am going to PRINT it out...and post it everywhere just so that I will stay on the right track.

Wow...some of you women had some great ideas!!!!

Spatts....I am not EVER letting B fold go...ever...unless one day he falls out of love with me...and in that case....I'll have to let him go...but until then....NO WAY!!!

 

[SteelWeaver]

Um..I'm gonna need some proof, Steel. Pics please...

Tsk, tsk, you left-brain science/math types ... always wanting proof, lol!

Patience, dear spatts, patience, and you shall be rewarded multiple-fold ... (now where the frick is the icon with the little Zen buddha guy Ohm-ing?)

Yeah Temple - blood of iron, spirits of steel, and a taut bottom line.

 

[Gladiola]

I am really struggling in the fact that I feel motivated for a few days and then it all goes down the drain.

OK, I'm replying here before reading other responses, but wanted to say a few things before they slip my mind.

First, you sound a little hard on yourself. I think everyone gets those feelings, "Ugh, I don't feel like working out." So don't beat yourself up for feeling that way sometimes.

But what has worked best for me is to set a goal of 3 Cardio workouts per week, & then plan them (Sun I teach step, Thur I'll bike & elliptical & watch TV, Tue I'll take my friends cardio kickboxing class, etc.) Then I would write it on the calendar on the fridge. What cardio I did & how long (sometimes even estimated intensity levels on my own personal scale of 1-5). If a week went by & I only got 2 cardio w/o's in, not the end of the world, just made the one up the next week. I kept that up so it kept me on track.

 

[sheez_ripped]

Hey gurly!

I know just how you feel cause I have been there! And, for me...it did take hitting rock bottom....i will scan in some pics to post....talk about scary! Now, hubby has always been the gym freak...and it was in a heated argument about 3 yrs back that really got me going....he made a comment about my butt...and it TOTALLY pissed me off...and I set my mind then...that I would SHOW everyone what I was capable of achieving....I started small...just lifting and cardio...and lost 20 lbs....then kept with it...and last fall after seeing the state bodybuilding competition...set another goal...to COMPETE! and again...like others have said...it's baby steps...and being determined....and not letting anything stand in your way of working out...plus i too am anal....the engineer in me....so WRITING it all down every day keeps me focused....i have a planner plus a diet/cardio/workout journal....and everyday I write down what i eat and the times....and all my workouts and cardio...and like Steelweaver...it's all planned out so I don't have to worry about what to do in workouts or what to eat.....and i eat the same thing everyday...so it's easy to shop and pack my food....i don't buy stuff I can't eat....so it's not there to cheat with...and once you get going it becomes habit...i think studies have shown that it takes 21 days to make something habitual...so just try to take it a week at a time....and have 1 cheat day...plan that week on paper...and then JUST DO IT!! even if u don't wanna go to the gym...just tell yourself you'll go for 10 minutes...i promise you'll end up finishing your workout...and once you start seeing results...NOTHING will be able to stop ya!

 

[blueyedkowgrl]

taking it one day at a time or one hour at a time, you can do it. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of it. You are strong in mind, body and soul. draw from your inner reserve that we all have tucked away inside. keep small goals so when you reach them you feel that you have come one step closer to what you want. let others help and draw from their strength and their belief in you. We are always our worst critics so sometimes we have to trust the people who love us. take what works for you in the other aspects of your life and apply them to your diet and exercise regime. schedule it in(food exwercise whatever) just like you would schedule a big meeting for work or a dr's appt. just keep plugging along honey,sometimes the big burning desire comes after a few small goals have been accomplished and you see that you can do it.

 

[Sassy69]

We constantly say that fitness is a "lifestyle" -- this is where that lifestyle stuff comes in --- just like you get up to go to work or school in the morning - the gym & the diet become part of your day - regardless of how you feel about it-- you just do it. When it becomes a habit (e.g the 21 days...) then you don't worry about it so much -- those 3 weeks totally suck, but if you focus on the possibilities & keep challenging yourself to see the results, you will see them. And if you do "fall off the wagon", hey, dust yourself off & climb back on, The only day I really worry about is the day I can no longer climb back on - i.e. the day I'm 6 feet under is the day that I can no longer do something about how I feel or how I look.

If you really want some motivation, go check out a local bodybuilding show -- there is always so some sort of personal success story there -- ok, granted this is the part that gets a little silly when you are sitting all day waiting for the "real" competitors to get on, but in the last several local shows I've been to, there are a handful of over 70 & over 80 competitors -- e.g. a 72 year old lady who started curling soup cans to deal w/ her osteoporosis. Then there was the lady in the over 45 category who was about 4 months post chemo for breast cancer,. Holy crap -- and I bitch about my diet & training.

And something I'm personally looking forward to to help me re-establish my motivation - the NPC Wheelchair Nationals next weekend. Sometimes you just need to get things back into perspective. The desire is there -- you just need to implement it!

 

[polarpixie]

Hey NightFLy!

To answer your first question, I can really relate to your question because I've had many false alarms when it comes to feeling that burning desire. I'll feel it really strong, and then I lag off somewhere along the line, the same way that those New year's resolution gym rats do. I've been working out since i was about 17. But never hard enough, and only half-assed. But I think this time it's for real and I'm gonna stick to it until I change my body for good. For me, it is about winning. I just want to win the battle in changing my body and looking the best that I can be. I need to know that I'm capable of achieving my goal if I work hard and I stick to it. That's what is driving me right now. We'll see what happens in a few months.

I've started planning my workouts and my diet, and keeping track of it all with an Excel spreadsheet. I've never done that before. It helps alot to have a plan. I already feel 90% better about myself knowing that I possess the will power to stick with my plan so far.

Best of luck to you. Being on this board and knowing that there are so many other people who are committed to their goals helps a tremondous amount too.

 

[Ceebs]

My resolve has been vacillating lately, and searching old posts this morning, I came upon this thread by chance. Hopefully some of the newer faces around here will find it as inspiring as I did.

 

[takniteasy]

Be dammed if I didn't run across this when I needed it the most. These days my "fire" is only smoldering and after reading this thread I have new resolve to get that fire scorching again!

Congrats to you Nightfly on your recent comp and thank you for showing me and countless other women that we all feel the same at one time or another.

 

[b fold the truth]

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=174678

For motivational purposes...

B True

 

[nikkita]

Night,

I think you got the desire. What may help you is to plan your goals, because many times we want that "certain something" together with "that other thing" and we want just to achieve everything at once. Not that it is impossible to get all that we want all at once, but for many people it is better to take steps to achieve goals.
For instance, you mention that you have trouble keeping up with the diet... then your ultimate goal is to reduce weight... be specific and realistic. Make a list of the reasons that prevent you from keeping on track with the diet. Then make one of those reasons your priority for a week or so, trying to reduce that gradually. For example, my brother wants to make this diet but he loves yellow cheese (the type on top of a pizza), pop-corn and coke. Then his priority for the first week would be reduce the amount of cheese he eats. In the mean time note down response and reaction.
I'm positive about you achieving all your goals, it is just matter on how you plan to attain them.

 

[Intenceman]

I'm not feeling that great, so I will keep it short.
Desire is associated with motivation. Motivation is what happens when you have a goal that you want to achieve. It has two components- an emotional one and a physical one. (All strong emotions have a physical component as part of their response).
Your motivation comes from the premises you hold- both conscious and unconscious. If your desire is'nt strong then check your premises- what goal are you trying to achieve? Is this goal as important to you as you think?- REALLY check this one out through self reflection. Is this goal in conflict wth other goals, beliefs or feelings?