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2 ton hoss
Guest
SO I WENT TO SUBWAY FOR LUNCH, YOU KNOW THEY'VE GOT REALLY GOOD FOOD. GOOD FOR YOU TOO. AND IM TALKING TO THE OWNER OF THE JOINT, HE'S THIS SHORT ITALIAN DUDE WHO'S GOT A BIG MOLE ON HIS CHIN. BUT HE'S REALLY NICE. HE GIVES ME A FREEBIE WHEN MY PUNCH CARD IS HALFWAY PUNCHED. GOT TO APPRECIATE THAT. SO HE GOES INTO THE BACK ROOM TO TAKE A PHONE CALL AND I'M STANDING THERE WAITING TO ORDER WHEN THIS BITCH WALKS OUT. SHE'S FAT AS HELL AND ALL HAIRY AND SHIT, AND WORSE SHE IS WEARING SPANDEX. BUT EVEN WORSE THAN THAT, ITS THIS GIRL I BANGED WHEN I WAS REALLY DRUNK ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO, AND THEN LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!! AND I LEFT HER A LITTLE PRESENT SOMEWHERE IN HER BEDROOM I FORGET WHERE BUT LETS SAY ALL THAT BEER DIDNT AGREE WITH MY STOMACH SO WELL AND AFTER THE OYSTERS I JUST COULDNT HOLD IT. HOPE IT WASNT HER LAUNDRY HAMPER OR SOMETHING...SHIT I HATE THESE BLACKOUTS. ANYWAY SHE RECOGNIZES ME AND SHE STARTS SWEARING AND THROWING SHIT, AND THE OWNER RUSHES OUT HE'S LIKE "TONI WHAT'S HAPPENING" AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS FUCKING DAUGHTER!! AND HE'S LIKE "HEY LUIGI GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE" AND THIS BIG OL FAG WEARING THIS CHEAP POLYESTER SUIT STARTS COMING OUT HIS HAIRS ALL SLICKED BACK AND HE STARTS LISPING AT ME AND SHIT AND HE'S LIKE HE WANTS A FIGHT OR SOMETHING. NOW HE LOOKED PRETTY BIG AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN ONE OF THESE HOES HAS A PIECE SO I BACK OUT THE DOOR MEANWHILE THIS BITCH IS SQUIRTING ALL THE CONDIMENTS AT ME AND SHIT. AND ALL THESE PEOPLE WERE WATCHING!!! GOD IT WAS SO EMBARASSING NOW I CAN NOT GO THERE ANY MORE AND WHATS WORSE THE FUCKING GAY MAFIA MIGHT BE AFTER ME WHO KNOWS.
