Weekly College Bitch-a-thon

[Warik]

So I need to take 15 credit hours worth of classes next semester and every semester thereafter if I plan to get out of college before it wastes 4 years of my life. Ok, no problem.

But I also have a ton of foolish requirements having nothing to do with my major... that's OK too. I'll just take some classes that meet multiple requirements.

Let's see... I have to take a biological science as part of the core (you know, since us computer science majors might need to do important biological stuff like spelling mitochondria correctly without the aid of a dictionary). But I also need to take an additional science course for the computer science program.

Oh! I have an idea. I'll take a biological science that happens to reside in the list of valid additional science courses.

OK. I found 3 of them. Intro to Botany, Intro to Marine Biology, and General Biology I. Well, General Biology I is one of those "For Biology Majors" classes that are for big lectures with 300 or so students. We all know how I feel about humans, so I decided to look into Intro to Botany and Marine Biology.

How interesting... NOBODY IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSITY IS TEACHING BOTANY OR MARINE BIOLOGY THIS SEMESTER. THE ONLY FUCKING BIOLOGICAL SCIENCE COURSE IS GODDAMN GENERAL BIOLOGY I FOR BIOLOGY MAJORS IN A CLASS OF 300 DAMN PEOPLE.

Oh, let's not forget the best part, it's only taught either EARLY in the morning (9 friggin 30) or late in the afternoon (3 friggin 30 i.e. I get home at 6).

Could this be the end of Warik? Will he succumb to the evil university system and sit in a class with 300 humans to listen to pointless babble regarding material that will simply be purged from his mind the day after the final exam? Will he waste his morning or his afternoon with such nonsense? Will he pay excessive lab fees and accept admittance into lame "study buddy groups" when proposed to do so by other students after they see him raping the material simply because he doesn't want them to talk shit about "that asshole who doesn't talk to anybody?"

NO!

THIS CAN'T BE THE END OF WARIK!!

I WILL NOT SUCCUMB!!!

I WILL FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS!!!!

I WILL MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH.

I WILL INVADE HELL.

I WILL CONQUER THE UNIVERSE.

I WILL DO EVEN THAT WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR MORTAL MEN TO ACHIEVE IF IT WILL MEAN THAT I WILL NOT HAVE TO SIT IN A ROOM WITH 300 PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO "PROFESSOR TRACEY" AT 9:30 IN THE MORNING TALKING ABOUT MITOCHONDRIA AND GOLGI APPARATUSES WHILST FIGHTING THE URGE TO IMPALE MYSELF WITH A BALLPOINT PEN DUE TO SHEER MIND-NUMBING BOREDOM.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Warik

 

[TheSalami]

freshman year was all big classes. my biology class had well over 300 people. it was good because i never went to class. i went to about 3 classes a week that year. gpa could have been better but i dont give a fuck. it was a good time. every semester since then has just gotten better and better anyway.

 

[Freak Show]

Warik, you seem like a smart fella, trust me you don't really need to attend lectures for intro biology. Unless the jag-off prof makes attendance mandatory. As for the lab, well.... you may have to put up with mankind for a couple hours per week. Sorry.

 

[Warik]

The thing is, I'm not a freshman. I'm a junior and I still have a bunch of general education requirements (i.e. the shit you're supposed to do before declaring a major) because I was too busy taking the classes that actually pertain to my major. I'd say I have about 20 or so credit hours from general education that I've yet to complete.

Why don't they invent a school that actually "teaches" you what you need for your particular career and skip the BS? I think that's what I'll do. When I become ridiculously wealthy I'm going to open an elite school of major-only courses. You basically will declare your major on your application. It will be the most prestigious school in the entire world.

-Warik

 

[TheSalami]

all in all you really dont take that many classes involving your major. so far i have taken 2 classes that only finance majors take. that just leaves 1 year for the rest and i dont think its too many. i think i have 2 finance classes next semester. so you take the general shit. it makes you a well rounded person. who cares. the important thing is to have fun while your doing it.

 

[danielson]

this is why i get confused when i look at certain courses in america.....my american teacher told us about it a few yeats back, its great u learn allm these new things outside ur course, but what if u dont want to. what if u just wanna learn whatcha gotta and then get th hell out? tats why i gets confused

although my course sucks ass though

we HAVE to attend a 'surgery/clinic and get attached to a doctor'....and we see lots of patients....ooh, great u'd think except

a) these patients think we are doctors and ask us for medical advice, im sure somewhere in my course there's a shithead arropgant enough to think he can give it

b) we know jack shit at the moment....all we can look at is the standard of their care really, the rest can be looked at on a xerox'd peeice of paper for our own amusement or their pateint records....so all we can really ask is what is their standard of care...well its shite

c) we spend HOURS in one day examining the psychosicial issues of a condition with fuck knows how much brainstorming and charts and flow diagrams,. WTF!! as if we're gonna bother remebering what amounts to common sense. then we have to write up the days events making references to psychological texts. except we're not psychiatrists!!

d) the marks given for this pile of turd they call a 'segment of our course' is 2% of my final result. but if i dont attend every single one, i get kicked out of my course. except its the doctors responsibility to mark everything. so if she hates u or is a domanatrix nazi bitch bastard, if u miss one ur fucked. however others have brillianty people who let them turn up when they want. i have to trdge round an urban ghetto whilen its getiting dark in a fuckiong suit to meet a patient plus i have an exam the next day.

in short, my course suck too

 

[Warik]

BigPhysicsBastard,

Big ten? Not even close. My school is ranked number one billion or some shit. Not like I care. A meaningless piece of paper is a meaningless piece of paper. A computer science degree from a prestigious school is only useful in the hypothetical "MIT graduate vs. 'regular' graduate" job interview scenario (I didn't know they interviewed 2 people simultaneously now). How's this for a hypothetical job interview scenario? One guy is an MIT graduate, the other is a 'regular' graduate with years of experience. Gee I wonder who's getting the job. Stupid high school counselors.

Anyway, no it's not a big ten school... 300 student classes is ridiculous. I will find a way out of this. I KNOW I WILL.

danielson,

Agreed... your course sucks too... but at least you don't have 299 classmates pissing you off every day. =)

-Warik

 

[TheSalami]

why do you learn all the shit in high school that you will never use? the fact is learning a bunch of shit is good for your brain. also there is only so much shit in your major they can teach you. real experience will help you learn the important things you will need. i liked the big classes because they didnt take attendance and the professor never bothered me. now all my classes are small and i have to go to almost all of them or i should. the general classes you dont need to be small because they are less important for you. things work out perfectly. the most important thing though is to have fun. too many people think they come to college to learn and then they are miserable. you have to have fun also and fuck lots of hoes.

 

[danielson]

danielson,

Agreed... your course sucks too... but at least you don't have 299 classmates pissing you off every day. =)


-Warik

nope

i have 250 classmates to piss me off
lots of people in my lectire hall. i hate lectures. i aslo hate the people in them.....well not all of them, some i like....but some are such idiots that act like the 13 year old punks i see on my street corner trying to act 'all that'

lectures at 9.00 (like i go to them ) the day has ended as late as 5:30 or 6:30 in extremes. of course i take measure to combat this. i dont turn up ...how tha fuck did i pass

 

[FrankRizzo]

Why don't they invent a school that actually "teaches" you what you need for your particular career and skip the BS?

My major at Colorado State (Construction Management) taught me to use software that is industry standard, contract law, civil engineering, geotechnical engineering, structural engineering, estimating, etc. I was literally ready to go to work when I graduated. It is a very reputable program that places 100% of it's graduates. I picked it for this reason. These programs are hard to find, but they are out there.

At CSU you paid for credits up to 12 in one semester, then any credits after that were free. If your school works the same way it sounds like they are tailoring things to keep you there longer and make more money off you. State Universities are not far from complete bureaucracy. i.e. inefficient adn geared to separate you from your bank account.

Good Luck, I feel for ya. I've been there...I have faced the beast and got around him, but it wasn't easy. You will have nightmares about missing tests and shit for the rest of your life (Nice little bonus)

 

[Warik]

The funny thing is that my school doesn't seem to care about the money. They refused to give me credit for English Literature even though I had Advanced Placement credit for it. I even offered to PAY for the class ANYWAY if they would exempt me from it. Fuckers actually said: "No! You have to take the class!" I don't have to do anything you dumb stuck-in-a-dead-end-job bitch!

-Warik

 

[May1010]

Warik -

I'm sure your present predicament is a result of poor planning on your part.

Deal with it.

 

[RyanH]

Warik---

Don't complain. Only you have you to blame.

As May said, "Deal With It."

 

[Warik]

I'm sure your present predicament is a result of poor planning on your part.

How so? There is no "planning" to be done. The school decides what my requirements are and the school also decides which classes are taught when. The students have no advance notice of this until a few weeks before choosing classes. I am to blame for nothing.

Deal with it.

I plan to. You think I'm going to sit in a class at 9:30am with 300 people? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!! They have not yet begun to comprehend who they're dealing with.

-Warik

 

[MP5]

If you were smart you would drop out and save your money. Going to college is my biggest regret in life. What a fucking waste of time and money. They ought to offer a class on what to expect when you get out. They could call it..."you won't get a good fucking job, and when you do find a job, you will be lumped in at the same pay as the fucks with GED's"

 

[RyanH]

you won't get a good fucking job, and when you do find a job, you will be lumped in at the same pay as the fucks with GED's"

Very true. I had to go to grad school b/c my english and philosphy degrees basically meant unemployment lines.

 

[Sassy69]

Warik -- I think the purpose of the university system is to give you a piece of paper that says you have "staying power" - meaning you were dumb enough to pay them all the money and hang around to complete the never ending list of requirements to get the piece of paper. (I'm *really* good at staying - so I have a couple pieces of paper!)

Anyway, a less painful way to get thru some of the more annoying classes is to see what classes you can do in the summer sessions. They are shorter & more class-intensive, but often they are smaller classes, even for the weed-out classes, and the content isn't necessarily as "thick" as the equivalent classes during the regular school year. Anyway, just a suggestion. Plan ahead, see if you can get some of those credits done in the next 2 summers.

 

[MP5]

WOW! RyanH and I agree on something. I got an undergrad in finance and that is another term for "call center" or "bank teller" each paying around 27k. The millions you hear about are the people that had money to begin with and could afford to take a job with zero pay, only commision. I can't afford to do that so I am stuck with all the people that dropped out of highschool.

 

[RyanH]

I got a job out of college MP5 with a Bank.

ABSOLUTELY SUCKED. Banks are cheap and notoriously boring. I had to do it for a year. Worst year of my life.

 

[RyanH]

MP5--why don't you get your M.B.A.---that will increase your job prospects, bigtime.

 

[Hugh Gellatts]

"Anyway, a less painful way to get thru some of the more annoying classes is to see what classes you can do in the summer sessions. They are shorter & more class-intensive, but often they are smaller classes, even for the weed-out classes, and the content isn't necessarily as "thick" as the equivalent classes during the regular school year. Anyway, just a suggestion. Plan ahead, see if you can get some of those credits done in the next 2 summers."


that is exactly what I was going to say. I'm in summer school now, and most of the students are upperclassmen getting distribution requirments out of the way.

 

[MP5]

I work at a credit union. I was supposed to be the financial advisor and loan officer with some tellering. Now I find out that I am just a glorified teller. I work with a bunch of morons, none went to college. I found out that I am not a lona officer, but rather a dipshit that fills out the loan app. and has the members sign it when it gets approved. The financial advising is me in my teller station telling people to invest in CD's and the money market for a shit 3% return. I went to lunch with a manager and she told me that being a teller IS where I want to be because of the opportunity to cross sell. It brought to mind the line "don't piss down my back and tell me it is raining." I am at an all time low, so low that I saw an ad for a loader oporator at the dump and recycling center and it pays what I make. I am going to apply, atleast there is no customer service and you work 4 ten hour days.

 

[MP5]

Oh, thought about the MBA, but I am not so sure it isn't a waste of time and money too. I read that MBA's are getting as common as bachelors now.

 

[Warik]

I'm not worried about the money because I'm on a more-than-full scholarship (so basically they pay me to go), but the time it's wasting really sucks. I already have some classes planned for next summer session(s) that I'd like to take during the shortened session. I took Statistics this summer... as if the class couldn't get any easier.. lol. The professor left like a whole chapter out of the curriculum because we "didn't have enough time." We didn't? We had plenty of time. He probably just spent two or three days in a row teaching the same shit. (I wouldn't know, since I never went).

Mark my words, though. I won't let the college win this one. I WILL TRIUMPH.

THEY WILL BOW BEFORE ME. I WILL CRUSH THEIR SKULLS WITH MY MIGHTY BOOT AND THEN BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD.

-Warik

 

[RyanH]

I disagree with that. MBA's here in Atlanta have been in demand. In might be a year or 2 of hell to go through, but in the end, you'd have better companies to choose from.

 

[Warik]

Did I hear you say "MBA?" T-minus 10 seconds before Matt comes and flames all of us. =)

-Warik

 

[May1010]

I've got an M.B.A. In San Francisco, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone with an M.B.A.

If MP5 wanted to pursue a career in finance, his time would be better spent taking the Series 7 exam and then going to work for Schwab or someone.

 

[RyanH]

I know that law degrees with M.B.A's are in big demand.

The prospects for an M.B.A. probably also depends on where you live.

 

[Latimer]

I got a pimping ho's degree.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Did I hear you say "MBA?" T-minus 10 seconds before Matt comes and flames all of us. =)

-Warik

Hee Hee..

No flame....but if you are a bank teller, I agree that an MBA will HELP your job prospects. It can;t really get worse.

See....MBAs are funny. There are 2 kinds of MBAs.

There are MBAs from top business schools like Wharton or Stern, and then there are MBA's from "other" schools like St. John's.

The "other" MBAs are pretty much El Crappo. Maybe you can be the "teller supervisor".

The MBAs from top schools will give you the ability to make lots of money, without any real vision or leadership ability of your own.


Yeah. Tech Side rules.

 

[WombRaider]

Listen to Sass. Summer school ROCKS! class every day so not much homework. small classes. short sessions. lots of hot college girl ass with nothing to do but you. Dude, enjoy college while you can cuz when you get out you'll look back and see what a great time it was. If you really hate it, then order a friggin MBA or whatever from one of those 'overseas' schools and be done with it. I have a finance degree and i'm doing pretty well (but not in finance!), it a decent degree cuz you understand $$, and that's what business is all about, man. MBA's are overrated, either you get it right after your undergrad or forget it and save your money. My buddy just got his welll after his undergrad and can't do shit with it, and he was liek theoldest guy in the program and the co.'s were snatching up the younger folks.