Warnings are good

[Nathan]

Like the old trusty coarse language warning that pops up on television before like every damn movie. Don't know what I would do without that bad boy. Also, the whole "flammable" warning on anything that comes in a spray can is pretty important. I can't tell you how many times I've sprayeded flammable liquid into my urethra and all over my body and then accidentally lit it on fire. But the most important warning of all is the "slippery when wet" warning for the simple reason that wet things can be very slippery. Enough said really.

Anyway, what this is all building up to is a warning of my own. Here goes:

WARNING: Fuck off or I'll cram 23 razorblades into your anus and then pour iodine-enriched cement (shut up I'm sure someone makes it) in there for good measure. Eat shit and die you mother fucking pansies.

 

[KnoXville]

I by myself fancy the television and movie warnings that state, this material may offend some viewers – discretion is advised, by reason that the bastards never quite allude to what the material in question is to offend, hence you do not know if you are indeed in that ‘some viewers’ category. Hence by shielding your eyes for the duration and wantonly humming to ‘somewhere over the rainbow’ you may indeed miss something exceptionally marvelous, but if you do choose to watch may be grossly offended and scarred for life. Emu fuck society and there petty mind games, fuck all of them.

 

[Nathan]

Emu fuck society and there petty mind games, fuck all of them.

I don't know what that means but I like the sound of it. I like the sound of it a lot.

 

[KnoXville]

On a positive not though, there are indeed some warnings that do retain some merit. For example this little gem has saved me from ruining countless first dates, and just narrowly avoiding multiple sexual harassment suits. Infact, I just had it inked onto the back of my hand in florescent green dye:

 

[AAP]

Great post.