Viruses are teh suk

[OMGWTFBBQ]

I have had a busy day and it is all likely due to some bored Chinaman.
There are 3 viruses fucking shit up big time in Windows-world this month and my users are all smacking themselves in the face, shitting all over the place, and worst yet - calling me incessantly telling me that they got a message telling them that a virus was blocked.

I'm gonna start calling them every 15 minutes to tell them that my desk hasn't fallen over yet or something equally moronic, except that I hate the phone.

fuckingfuckfuckfuckerfuckingasseatshitdiemotherfcukfuckfuckers

 

[CipherLock]

Doom/MM

 

[Deus Ex Machina]

At first I thought you contracted AIDS from a Chinaman. Glad you are OK.

 

[gymtime]

Pottymouth.

 

[AAP]

what are the names of this virus?

 

[The_Ghost]

I feel your pain.

How fucking dumb are users. For christ sake if you don't know the sender or see something odd about the email , use common sense and don't open the fucking thing!!

 

[The_Ghost]

what are the names of this virus?

W32/Mydoom@MM or W32.Novarg.A@mm

Here is a link

http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/[email protected]

 

[OMGWTFBBQ]

I also had the lovely experience of one of our owners coming to my desk and saying "OMGWTFBBQ, what can we do about our slow network speed?"

I told him that we are currently doing everything we can and the only thing left would be to pay to have it upgraded since it is ass slow right now and that using it made me want to claw my eyes out with rotting toothpicks.

I told him that DSL was not an option and then went into the reasons why - I also pointed out that DSL is frequently cheaper, but it is not something we could use.
I then forwarded him the best quotes that we have had on upgrading our current connection - the optimal rate being that we could quadruple our network speed at just over twice what we are paying now.

He left seemingly fine with all of that.

He then shows up later with a guy and says "this guy can get us 512K for $200 a month" which is less than half of what we are currently paying, and 4 times the speed.
So essentially this guy has figured out how to do something that nobody else on the island has figured out.
The owner then strolled away as if he had just proved Fermat's Theorum and left me to talk to this sales guy that was so happy he reminded me of that dude in Jerry McGuire - SHOW ME THE MONEY.

So after about 30 seconds of glad handing and smiles, I find out that this 512K connection is on DSL.

So that means that I told the owner "we can't get DSL even thought it will seem cheaper because..." and then listed the reasons.
He, being a dumbfuck obviously only heard "DSL... cheaper" and then proceeded to act on that.

No matter - I am going to leave this company as soon as possible - cheap fuckers.

 

[CipherLock]

Come to Canada, we have even stupider people running companies.

 

[OMGWTFBBQ]

W32/Mydoom@MM or W32.Novarg.A@mm

Here is a link

http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/[email protected]

MyDoom is the name if you have MacAffee.
Novarg is the name if you have Symantec.
MiMail is the name if you have TrendMicro.

I have no idea how/why they each choose their own names.

I like to think that it is just a random collection of characters that they get via dart throws and sun spots.

 

[The_Ghost]

I also had the lovely experience of one of our owners coming to my desk and saying "OMGWTFBBQ, what can we do about our slow network speed?"

I told him that we are currently doing everything we can and the only thing left would be to pay to have it upgraded since it is ass slow right now and that using it made me want to claw my eyes out with rotting toothpicks.

I told him that DSL was not an option and then went into the reasons why - I also pointed out that DSL is frequently cheaper, but it is not something we could use.
I then forwarded him the best quotes that we have had on upgrading our current connection - the optimal rate being that we could quadruple our network speed at just over twice what we are paying now.

He left seemingly fine with all of that.

He then shows up later with a guy and says "this guy can get us 512K for $200 a month" which is less than half of what we are currently paying, and 4 times the speed.
So essentially this guy has figured out how to do something that nobody else on the island has figured out.
The owner then strolled away as if he had just proved Fermat's Theorum and left me to talk to this sales guy that was so happy he reminded me of that dude in Jerry McGuire - SHOW ME THE MONEY.

So after about 30 seconds of glad handing and smiles, I find out that this 512K connection is on DSL.

So that means that I told the owner "we can't get DSL even thought it will seem cheaper because..." and then listed the reasons.
He, being a dumbfuck obviously only heard "DSL... cheaper" and then proceeded to act on that.

No matter - I am going to leave this company as soon as possible - cheap fuckers.

Wanna hear dumb, we still have some novell servers and one boss thinks this usless piece of shit OS is good!!!!!

 

[OMGWTFBBQ]

Incidentally, all of those virus names are all for one virus.

There are two others that are big this month and I don't have them in front of me right now.
One is a resurgence that comes up over and over - the other is new from the beginning of the month.

If you go to trendmicro.com or symantec.com then they will have the lists of the top current viruses and what they do, as well as how to find out if you have them.

I never spell macaffee right, so I don't know their website.

 

[OMGWTFBBQ]

Wanna hear dumb, we still have some novell servers and one boss thinks this usless piece of shit OS is good!!!!!

My only two experience (thankfully) with Novell were as fileservers and as a payroll/timecard system (devices that you actually punched cards in and out of with logins on them).

We have a consultant that comes in here occasionally and he swears that Novell is the greatest. I've never had any reason to like it.

 

[danielson]

i thought this post was going to be how you contracted bird flu by going bareback

 

[The_Ghost]

My only two experience (thankfully) with Novell were as fileservers and as a payroll/timecard system (devices that you actually punched cards in and out of with logins on them).

We have a consultant that comes in here occasionally and he swears that Novell is the greatest. I've never had any reason to like it.

Thats cause there is no reason to like it!!!!

I keep telling our boss, it was good, LIKE 10 YEARS AGO!!!!!!

 

[OMGWTFBBQ]

Speaking of bird flu, there is actually a valid concern here about salmonella from pigeons shitting on people's roofs (we collect our housewater from roof runoff).

I don't know what the signs of salmonella are, but I look forward to being ruled by our pigeon masters.

 

[Ffactor]

Why are so many viruses originating from Chinamen? Is it a hygiene problem?

 

[OMGWTFBBQ]

Why are so many viruses originating from Chinamen? Is it a hygiene problem?

like many showerheads, the answer lies in volume

 

[saint808]

i think i may have one but microsoft outlook is not my default mail program... in fact i don't have one set up to be default and it is prolly better that way.