Virgin Mary was Jesus Christ 's WIFE! Jesus did not die on the cross!

[SSAlexSS]

Hello all!

I was watching this program on TLC obout mysteries of the bible. And the awesome part of it was talking about how Virgin Mary was jesus's wife and that jesus did not die on the cross.

Here are some proofs:

Crucifictions is very slow and painful death. People die on the cross in 2-4 days, Jesus Christ apparently died on it in 2 hours? Son of god making some criminals on the cross looking like immortals?

Jesus Christ was carried off the cross by HIS GANG, which is very nice. All jesus had to do is run away, or face crucifixtion again!

There was a picture of jesus's body being carried off somewhere. Body looks liek dead but it isn't. In the background of the picture you can see that there is full moon. Now, no religeous person would handle a dead body in full moon. So it means that the body isn't dead, and remember kids - jesus did not spend enough time on the cross to die.

So as you see, jesus was alive after crucifixtion (he just did not die).


Mary might not have been Jesus's wife, but rather his girlfriend:
It is a tradition that jewish spiritual teachers have a wife. After all the bible said "be fruitful and multiply",
so a jewish spiritual teacher had to have a wife. Apparently this fact was withold in the bible. It is safe to assume that Jesus's wife was hidden/not mentioned/ignored in the story. But he often kissed Mary on the lips and many ppaintings of jesus and mary show that their relationship was more than just ordinary.
So she was his *******....

Ofcourse all this sounds like blasphemy but there are some interesting proofs that a)Jesus did not die on the cross and B) Mary was his wife/girlfriend.


I LOVE THE LEARNING CHANNEL! I have learned a lot ! see the show called "Mysteries of the Bible".
I got this info from them!

reply please!

 

[bigpimp]

watch out for the lighting bolts bro

 

[WarriorPL]

how about you get whipped with leather straps and have 5,000 gashes all over your body bleeding, then carry a 100+ pound cross on your shoulder.... then get nailed to a cross, see how long you live.

 

[canadianbuilt]

In the name of the father, son, holyspirt, Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[crash3837]

1st of all this thread does not even belong here on Between the Sheets. It should be moved to the chat board.
2nd SSAlexSS this post is very hilarious seeing as it makes no sense at all.
SSAlexSS I can paint a picture of you getting drilled up the ass by a donkey and yrs later TLC could have a program called mysteries of SSAlexSS and the love donkey.
That is if people look at every painting and think that the event actually took place.
Point is why would a painting mean anything?

 

[Pitboss]

Uh a little correction here...... The Virgin Mary was not the supposed wife/Gf of Jesus... it was the other Mary, Mary of Lazurus (sp)... different people!!!!

 

[Murman]

I seen the same thing and it's just another version that could have taken place.

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

My GOD

Listen Up.

Are all you American's religous FREAKS?



Jesus Christ can lick my vagina for all I care.

 

[Pitboss]

Re: My GOD

Listen Up.

Are all you American's religous FREAKS?



Jesus Christ can lick my vagina for all I care.

Aaaagghhhhh I love it!!!!!!!

 

[Horsecock Dbol]

wow

I cant believe you all still believe in God and Jesus and the Immaculate conception! There is more proof that aliens exist!!!

 

[HelenSL]

Re: My GOD

Listen Up.

Are all you American's religous FREAKS?



Jesus Christ can lick my vagina for all I care.

if you didn't care you wouldn't invite him to do it, sweetheart

would you?

love,
h

 

[hardbody_jr]

Just say 3 hail mary's and 10 our father's and you'll be forgiven

 

[playdo]

Your an idiot

 

[WIDELAT]

IM BACK PEOPLE AND THIS TOPIC SHOULD NOT BE IN HERE AT ALL. I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR TWO MONTHS COME BACK TO HEAR HOW EVERYONE'S SEX LIFE HAS BEEN GOING AND I FIND ALL KNEW PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT JESUS. I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON HERE BUT I'LL RESPOND, AS MY JOB PRIOR TO BODYBUILDING WAS TO MINISTER YEAH IT DOES NOT FIT MY PROFILE BUT WHAT CAN I SAY. THE REASON WE KNOW JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS IS THAT PRISONERS WERE NEVER NAILED TO THE CROSS LIKE CHRIST WAS THAT WAS A RARE OCCASION. THE BRUTAL BEATINGS AND LASHING UNTIL YOU COULD SEE HIS BONES PROBABLY CONTRIBUTED TO HIS DEATH BEING SO RAPID UP ON THE CROSS. THERE WAS NO EVIDENCE IN THE BIBLE TO SHOW THAT JESUS WAS MARRIED OR HAD A GIRLFRIEND AND JUST BECAUSE HE SHOWED LOVE TO HIS FRIENDS THAT HAPPEN TO BE WOMEN DOESN'T MEAN THERE WAS ANYTHING SEXUAL ABOUT THERE RELATIONSHIP, THINK A LITTLE IF WE TAKE IT IN THAT CONTEXT JESUS MUST HAVE HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES TO AS THE BIBLE REFERS TO THE DESCIPLE WHOM HE LOVED AND HAD LAYING ON HIS BREAST AT THE LAST SUPPER. LOOK IT UP FRIEND, IF YOU SEE A SHOW LIKE THAT REFER BACK TO THE BIBLE READ THE SCRIPTURES WERE THEY ARE REFERING TO AND MAKE YOUR OWN JUDGMENTS AND DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON TV

 

[Kryp2o]

bigpimp . . . love the mudvayne avatar.

 

[fiatconspiracy]

fucking cat juggling...and Tv is about as stoooopid as the bible, Jesus was or was not the son of god, who cares? He probably was the son of god, but not my god, or my Higher Power,,,,as for licking vagina, well he has been dead for 2000 years, but still if the son of god licked your slit, he would probably be pretty good at it.....
yeah cat juggling is pretty funny

 

[Roadblock]

I think it´s weird that people who don´t read the bible or know jackshit about it, have more comments and "knows" more than the anyone else.

 

[chemical_freak]

Dude,

The crucifixion of Christ was not an evil act done against jesus against his will. It was prophecied to happen. It was purposely carried out meaningfully so that he could die for our sins, saving us from eternal damnation. Don't be fooled by the liberalism of TV and media.

Peace

 

[luvbugg00]

Jesus

Ahhhh reminds me of a song.....by Corporate Avenger

Not saying God is gay, not saying that at all.
But if Jesus Christ was God and God created all. Then Jesus Christ created the homosexual.
Then there might be a little fag in us all.

JESUS CHRIST HOMOSEXUAL

They say their God hates Fags, they walk around so pissed
Disguise their hate as love, but have they thought of this.
he made us in his own image, now listen to what i say.
Then it's a possibility the Jesus Christ was gay

JESUS CHRIST HOMOSEXUAL

Not saying that it's good, not saying that it's right,
But could the Virgin Mary have been a hermaphrodite?
She was with child without having a man?
And that's not the only thing that I don't understand.

JESUS CHRIST HOMOSEXUAL

 

[GymRatSD]

The Bible... such a good fable, just like Greek mythology...

 

[SleepingFist]

As well as in the great Greek myths we have art emulating life not life emulating art.
Secondly, if you know nothing at all about the subject and watch one TV program then you are least qualified to give an opinion or state it as a truth.
Thirdly, anyone who is involved in Christianity as a faith is equaly unqualified to give their opinion as they are not predisposed to objectivity, especialy as the pope has another seven gospels stashed away so as not to do him and his ministers out of a job.
Fourthly; The Learning Channel? Now, you might try getting something a bit more substantial as a reference than that. I mean, I don't realy believe we are entitled to our opiniions for most of the time as they are unqualified, even if written in capitals, but to come on here, where this post should not be in the first place, and post this without even looking into the matter is an example of extreme ignorance.
Now, kindly go read a book, check some references, draw your own conclusions, post on the right board and avoid capitals as it is quite rude.

 

[bigguns7]

Jesus

Well, I believe in Jesus Christ as my personla Lord and Savior, but now I'm starting to have second thoughts after seeing the morons that he created. Hopefully, he had the foresight to at least make sure that the idiot that started this thread was born sterile.

Sexkitten Candy - that's a pretty bold statement. I thought you were a little more intelligent than that.

 

[WIDELAT]

I DON'T BASE MY BELIEFS ON BEING RAISED IN RELIGION I STUDIED AND HAVE BEEN INTREASTED IN RELIGION SENSE I WAS A KID AND STUDIED WITH CHRISTIANS MORMONS BUDDHIST ALL THAT I COULD LEARN AND IN MY SEARCH I FOUND THAT THE BIBLE IS WHAT I NEED TO FOLLOW AND FEEL EDUCATED ENOUGH TO BACK UP MY STATEMENTS. GOD DID CREATE EVERYONE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ANGAINST GAY PEOPLE AND BELIVE GOD LOVES THEM AS MUCH AS HE LOVES ANYONE ELSE I DON'T BELIEVE PEOLE ARE BORN GAY I THINK THAT IS A PERSONAL CHOICE I HAVE NO FACTS TO BACK THAT UP SO ITS JUST MY OPINION FROM READING THE BIBLE THAT IT IS WRONG BUT ITS NOT MY PLACE TO SAY WHAT ANYONES FATE IS ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT I JUST THINK TV PUTS A TWIST ON EVERYTHING WITHOUT GIVING THE WHOLE STORY WHICH I BELIVE PEOPLE SHOULD SEEK OUT THIER OWN ANSWERS NOT TAKE SOMEONES WORD FOR IT.

 

[MohawkMuscle]

The bible is a fictional story that was intended to explain the unknown.

BOTTOM LINE! Get in the 21st Century!


Proove me Wrong!- Chris Benoit

 

[Big Country 056]

I would just like to point out the reason that Jesus died faster than normal on the cross. Death was normally brought on by suffocation after the legs gave out or were broken (like the 2 theives on Jesus' right and left). None of this had anything to do with his death. My Bible has it, plain as day..."Jesus bowed his head, and gave up the ghost." End of story.

 

[ccc]

Dont get me wrong, I surely dont have all the answers but....... Organized religion just seems to seperate people.. You have all heard it before " if you dont except Jesus as your savior you will go to hell" what about the hindu's and buddists? Your telling me that they are all wrong and the loving God that created them will send them to this horrible place called Hell.
It doesnt make sense. Even these terrorist are killing people in the name of Allah (another name for God) give me a f-ing break. Religion is just an exuse to justify our own predujices(sp) - it feeds the us vrs. them mentallity. Think about it, each organized group think that they are the only way and all others are misguided--- this does not bring us together as people, it drives the wedge futher between us.
Religion all threw history was used to controll the masses and to inflict fear on people so they are more easily controlled.
I think the best way to be is how i heard Granny from the beverly hillbillies describe the Clampetts beliefs. When asked what her religion was, she said, " We are what you call Golden Rulers". Could not have said it better myself.
Peace

 

[juicemonkey420]

This thread should be moved or deleted. Personaly I believe in Jesus and God. It is more of a faith thing than a fact. I do believe, but I am not going to push it onto anyone else. Everyone is entitled to beleive what ever the hell they want. Everyone should find something else to argue about. You can not find a thread without a bull shit arguement.