To all you married folks...how many do we have here?

[Puddles]

This is what we base our marriage and love for each other on:

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking it is not easily angered. It keeps no record. Love does not seek evil but revels in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:4-7

I'm not religious, but that pretty much sums up what a big part of the successful relationships are about.

I've been married 18 yrs and I got married very young...I was barely 18 and he was 20. We have been through some rough times together, but they have only made us stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. We don't fight or argue much at all...we're just very similar in so many ways that there isn't much that we disagree on. I'd say we've averaged about 5 dissagreements a year. We even work together.

He is my best friend, a wonderful person in general, a strong provider, loving father, he makes me laugh, he holds me tight when I'm scared...he means the world to me. There is nothing that brings me more joy than to see a smile on his face and know that he's happy. I can see why old people...couples that have been married for 50 yrs...that when one spouse dies, the other dies soon after. My biggest fear in life is my husband dying before me.

The most difficult thing I've experienced is feeling like I've given too much at times and not standing up for what I want. I went to councelling which helped me learn to say what I want. I won't always get it, but most of the time I do. Sometimes you just have to explain yourself and your reasoning...remember, men and women think differently.

When is it time to fight for what you want? When it's something more important to you than the feelings of your partner. You have to look at situations objectively, from both sides and try to understand why your partner feels like they do. You have to be considerate. If you feel like you have to do something that upsets your partner, don't be vicious about it, do it gently, and never do something against your partners wishes simply for revenge. Don't dismiss their feelings as being irrational or less important than yours, just accept that you're two different beings and move on from there.

Pro's? Living this ONE life that I have on this planet, sharing it, with another wonderful human being until I die, sharing the happiness and love that only grows stronger with each passing year, NOTHING could make me happier. I could be poor (been there before), I could be fat or sick (been there too), I could be in any bad situation but with my husband by my side, the days are happy ones.

That being said...I gotta scoot and meet hubby at the gym now. I'm looking forward to my hug and kiss...I haven't seen him for a few hours and I miss him. The last thing I said to him this morning when we hugged good-bye was how good it feels to have his arms around me...and in 15 minutes I'll have that good feeling again! Marriage is a wonderful thing!

 

[Cleaner]

WTF do I know.....34 been together 16 years.
Married Five.

I love her and I know she feels the same about me.

When you would rather die than see something bad happen to your partner...then your ready.

When you put them first...things will work.

 

[Big Jroy]

I've been married going on 7 years and well.... we seperated a few weeks ago, well not really seperated, we are just living apart for 6 months. Suprisingly the relationship has gotten much better since.

 

[Mr.X]

I am just curious. I was talking with a friend of mine tonight about this.

Relationships, in general, are tough. They all require work, no doubt. What do you married folks think is the most difficult thing that you deal with in your marriage? How do you know when it's time to fight for something and when it's time to let it go? Rotten's post about his marriage made me think about this also.

I believe that marriage is a wonderful thing, but is only meant for the people willing to give it their all. I only want to get married once. I never want to get divorced...but I mean, who gets married expecting that it will end like that? With that attitude I may never get married...but I hope not.

Can you all tell me the pros and cons that you all have personally experienced? I am really interested to know about this.

Thanks!

I'm married and have LOTS of marriage experience (3rd time). The hardest thing is to find a common ground line when fighting, meaning that both have to learn to give in at times or it doesn't work. Well, fighting for useless things like: what was the name of the butler for our cousine jeorge harry the one that drives the grey honday and live in minnesota...and the other partner says NO! it was green. You see my point, most fight are just for the sake of fighting and ego. Ego+Marriage=divorce.

Pros is that every night you come home, you know someone is there to comfort you and love you and cherish you just as you do to them. It's almost human nature to feel companionship. Companionship is probably the biggest pro, NOT the sex! (for guys that think getting married will get you "laid" daily...NOT!)

Cons, well, there are 1000000 other women out there, or, in your case, men. It's always tempting, and people are only human. Hard to know what's right and what's not.

Let me ask you something Night Fly:

If you had one opportunity, in one moment
To sieze everything you ever wanted
would you capture it? or just let it slip?

Mr.X

 

[Night Fly]

That answer is simple. I would work harder than I had at anything in my life...to capture it.

Thank you all so much for the replies. They really help to put things in perspective.

 

[KA-BAR]

Been married almost 8 years, have 3 girls ages 12/7/4, my bills are paid and Im in heavan. We only have a few things we fight about every once in awile. I like to have the house clean and she wants me to go on vacations everywhere when all I want to do is stay home. Oh yea she only wants to have sex every 2 weeks and I have to have it every other day and that is bull. Ive told her before that if she dont give off some pussy im going to find some strange. She didnt like that very well.

 

[jeep310]

6 years here. The first few years are always the hardest. Communication is the key to making all relationships work.
Think about it, why do we fight? "You did this and you hurt my feelings.......ect"
What I mean is, if my wife tell me that she hates tuna fish. Then I will not cook it for dinner, but if she does not say anything about it, how would I ever know? I know it sounds stupid, but it is really that simple. We have a great relationship together and we do all things as a team.

 

[CAROLINACHICK]

I've been w/ my hubby for 9 yrs, happily married for 6.
And I wouldn't change it for the world. If you find the right person, marriage is a wonderful thing. Not much more I can say, MrsPuddles pretty much took the words right out'ta my mouth

 

[b fold the truth]

MrsPuddlesFL : THAT was simply amazing!!!!!

B True

 

[prophet]

whats the statistic on marriage.... 50% of all marriages fail within 5 years?