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Things to do During Boring Sermons

Y_lifter

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Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.

See if a yawn really is contagious.

Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek.
If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.

Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.

Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet.

Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.

Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.

Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.

Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.

Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.

Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.

By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt around backwards.

Try to raise one eyebrow.

Crack your knuckles.

Twiddle your thumbs.

Twiddle your neighbors thumbs.

Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.

Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.
 
I draw a little Trap Door Button on the hand-outs.

And when we get tired of hearing the person talk we hit the button and snicker.
 
Hehehe.. I always have to laugh at the moms with bad kids in church.. there's always one that escapes and hauls up to the altar, and the sheepish mom has to go up there and retrieve him..often involving kicking and screaming.. *LOL*.

Though one time, we were sitting near the front and all of a sudden this teddy bear came sailing through the air over head and landed on the altar.. mehehehe.. who wants to go claim that bear?
 
Our most embarrasing moment was when our 10 yr old niece was visiting and came with us to church.

During communion when you were handed the little cup of grape juice, she took hers and raised it saying CHEERS !...
 
if u dont want to be there... why the fuck are you going?
 
I've been to church maybe 5 times (at most) during my lifetime. Can't imagine going there every week or something.
 
i check out for hot chics

when i went with my mother she knew i was scopping the area out for what chics are hot

see when i get bored i pretend i am an astronaught
 
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