Frackal said:
Also thank a vet tomorrow. I'm calling up my uncle, he was in 'nam.
Wodin's boss to Wodin and 2 other employees: Boys, I'm afraid our company is cutting some expenses and you guys are getting fired. However, the company is paying you some money for retirement. The payment is 'some measurement in your body' in inches, times 1000. Tell the doctor the bodypart you want to be measured and he'll do it. So what is it?
First guy: Shit. Well, I'm gonna stick with the measurement from my head to toe.
Doctor: That's 72 inches.
Boss: Well here you go, 72 000 bucks. Have a nice retirement.
Second guy: Oh hell, I'm gonna choose the distance from my fingertips to my toes.
Doctor: That'll be 87 inches.
Boss: Here you go, 87 000 bucks. Don't let the door hit you on your way out.
WODIN: Well, I'm gonna choose the distance from the head of my pee pee to my testicles.
Boss: Are you fucking kidding me? Well, let the doctor do the measurement, then!
Doctor: My god! Where in the God's name are your testicles?
WODIN: They're in Vietnam.
(sorry if the translation sucked. I had that one in Finnish, so I had to translate..)