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LiLady11

New member
Well, since the last post about my relationship, things were going, not particularly well, but going. We were dating, talking a lot and just trying to make things work. Then the same shit started happening again... never coming out here, hardly speaking to me... and I realize that I am the least important thing in his life. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be everything to him, but I would like to mean more than his Saturday afternoon of Mets and napping. So I get ditched again at the last minute... and I flipped out. I was so suddenly sick and tired of being something that meant nothing. I bent over backwards for this man, or shall I say, boy. I was so tired of giving everything I had and getting nothing in return. I couldn't stand being made a fool of. And today he admits it, he admits to taking me for granted. And we wish each other well... and he says that he'll call when he grows up. I, in turn, tell him that I won't hold my breath and I know that I probably won't hear from him ever again.


So why do I feel the way I do? Why am I sitting here feeling so shitty and missing him sooo much?! I know it hasn't even been a day yet and that I should probably hate him or something, but I can't find it in me... I miss him very much already and the love that I have for him is still very much there... sorry for being so sappy and you're all probably sick of hearing this crap but I need to get this off my chest...
 
LiLady11 said:
Well, since the last post about my relationship, things were going, not particularly well, but going. We were dating, talking a lot and just trying to make things work. Then the same shit started happening again... never coming out here, hardly speaking to me... and I realize that I am the least important thing in his life. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be everything to him, but I would like to mean more than his Saturday afternoon of Mets and napping. So I get ditched again at the last minute... and I flipped out. I was so suddenly sick and tired of being something that meant nothing. I bent over backwards for this man, or shall I say, boy. I was so tired of giving everything I had and getting nothing in return. I couldn't stand being made a fool of. And today he admits it, he admits to taking me for granted. And we wish each other well... and he says that he'll call when he grows up. I, in turn, tell him that I won't hold my breath and I know that I probably won't hear from him ever again.


So why do I feel the way I do? Why am I sitting here feeling so shitty and missing him sooo much?! I know it hasn't even been a day yet and that I should probably hate him or something, but I can't find it in me... I miss him very much already and the love that I have for him is still very much there... sorry for being so sappy and you're all probably sick of hearing this crap but I need to get this off my chest...
Click to expand...


Speaking of chest.........It's a ritual to show us your tits when you have had a long abscence from the boards.;)


Seriously though........he sounds like a real loser.

Why punish yourself over something you've tried your hardest to make work?
 
As you say, give it time Lilady. That is the only antidote for a broken heart.

You're right, it would be nice to see the cheerful Lilady posting on here again, as you were before you met this guy.

Don't leave it in his hands. You need to make the break in your own mind. You said you were not going to hold your breath. Unless you make a decision yourself that it's either over or it isn't, it will be even harder to move on.

Best wishes.
 
Dating isn't married.
If he seems to be putting space between you, maybe it's only because he want space....doesn't mean he likes you less.

The one thing women always do wrong is make the assumption that a guy wanting to spend a weekend alone is anything other than that.


Guys are weird. We don't always want people around. We go through cyclic phases of social hibernation.
 
Its always hard to break up with someone you care about even if you do know that its going to be for the best in the long run. It will probably hurt for a while and thats normal BUT, it will go away. I dont know the whole story, just what ive read in this post and it sounds like youve put a lot of yourself into this relationship. I guess what they say about getting out what you put in doesnt really apply here. My point is that you put a lot of yourself into the relationship and thats probably one reason why it hurts you so much to let it go. I dont know if any of these words from a stranger are going to help or not but I hope they do. You sound like a strong person and I am positive that you will make it just fine. :)
 
Sounds like he wanted to make you mad at him so you would break up with him so he would not have to be the bad guy. (Been there - it's sucks)


Cry, take a shower and made a big ass bowl of ice cream up with your best gal pal. Or go for sushi after a manicure pedicure.

Remind yourself that it isn't you or him it's just that the timing of things is't always right. Sometimes ya gotta let go of everythig to find something rather than anything.

Try and cheer up chicka - I know it hurts - but you've gotta think about how awesome it is to be in your twenties and it's the time of your life to meet a lot of people. Once you meet someone new that rocks your world and wants to know your every thought and wants to be a part of you and your life the pain will cease and you'll wonder why you cried so much.
 
velvett said:
Sounds like he wanted to make you mad at him so you would break up with him so he would not have to be the bad guy. (Been there - it's sucks)


Cry, take a shower and made a big ass bowl of ice cream up with your best gal pal. Or go for sushi after a manicure pedicure.

Remind yourself that it isn't you or him it's just that the timing of things is't always right. Sometimes ya gotta let go of everythig to find something rather than anything.

Try and cheer up chicka - I know it hurts - but you've gotta think about how awesome it is to be in your twenties and it's the time of your life to meet a lot of people. Once you meet someone new that rocks your world and wants to know your every thought and wants to be a part of you and your life the pain will cease and you'll wonder why you cried so much.
Click to expand...


Ladies please. This isn't necessary. FFOS is just a phone call away. :D
 
Girl you need a real man who is going to cover you in honey and stick strawberries in your twa-twa and munch away at your fruitsalad. Step on....
 
velvett said:
Sounds like he wanted to make you mad at him so you would break up with him so he would not have to be the bad guy. (Been there - it's sucks)


Cry, take a shower and made a big ass bowl of ice cream up with your best gal pal. Or go for sushi after a manicure pedicure.

Remind yourself that it isn't you or him it's just that the timing of things is't always right. Sometimes ya gotta let go of everythig to find something rather than anything.

Try and cheer up chicka - I know it hurts - but you've gotta think about how awesome it is to be in your twenties and it's the time of your life to meet a lot of people. Once you meet someone new that rocks your world and wants to know your every thought and wants to be a part of you and your life the pain will cease and you'll wonder why you cried so much.
Click to expand...

Well said!

Thing is, he does sound like a loser yet never blame sports for a wasted afternoon. Sports and men are like women and "the view" they just go hand in hand.
 
you need to work on your own demons and not find comfort in men, but I have told you this many times

either way he was a prick, move on shit happens
 
stop being a whiny little bitch, let the man use you for your cooter get his rocks off on your eye and let him be for the rest of the week until he needs you to get his rocks off again, when will you bitches learn that us men dont need you for nothing other then your pussy and tits.
 
NJSerious said:
stop being a whiny little bitch, let the man use you for your cooter get his rocks off on your eye and let him be for the rest of the week until he needs you to get his rocks off again, when will you bitches learn that us men dont need you for nothing other then your pussy and tits.
Click to expand...



Well... you are an asshole
 
Lilady,

I'm in the process of taking care of a 16 year old. She is wide eyed and enthusiastic about the world, but very limited in some of life's experiences. She isn't boy crazy, but she is boy interested. She is also a bit shy and timid about boys. She doesn't have much experience in that department, but she has a crush on a really sweet kid who works down the street at our local video store. (And by wierd coincidence, he is the SAME kid who took the girl I was taking care of last year to the prom.)

Yesterday was her first sort of date. Not a big deal. He asked her to go to the mall with him. A kid date... just hanging out.

She came home thrilled, giggly, and excited... and immediately went to find my girlfriend to tell her every detail. (I think I'm not supposed to even know she has a crush on him yet.)

I bumped into his mom last night. She asked me about my 'daughter' and I pretty much laid out the reality - she is young, exhuberant, and a bit new to this.

His mom said that was important to know because that meant it was important for her to sit down with him and explain - HOW YOU TREAT HER IS GOING TO BE THE BASIS FOR HER DATING EXPERIENCE FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. YOU ARE HER FIRST ROMANCE IF YOU DATE HER. YOU ARE SETTING THE STANDARD FOR WHAT SHE WILL EXPECT FROM A YOUNG MAN.

In the same way, I'm taking my girl out for lunch today. I'm going to sit her down and talk to her about what she should expect from a dating relationship... and know what she should deserve. There is a standard that she should expect from the young man she sees in how she is treated - any young man. There is a standard to which she deserves to be treated. She needs to be treated respectfully. She needs to be treated thoughtfully. She needs to be treated with caring and consideration... and she is going to know that if she isn't getting that something isn't right with the relationship.

I think, maybe, this is the same talk somebody needed to have with you when you were young and first started dating... but somehow you didn't get it told to you then.
 
velvett said:
Sounds like he wanted to make you mad at him so you would break up with him so he would not have to be the bad guy. (Been there - it's sucks)


Cry, take a shower and made a big ass bowl of ice cream up with your best gal pal. Or go for sushi after a manicure pedicure.

Remind yourself that it isn't you or him it's just that the timing of things is't always right. Sometimes ya gotta let go of everythig to find something rather than anything.

Try and cheer up chicka - I know it hurts - but you've gotta think about how awesome it is to be in your twenties and it's the time of your life to meet a lot of people. Once you meet someone new that rocks your world and wants to know your every thought and wants to be a part of you and your life the pain will cease and you'll wonder why you cried so much.
Click to expand...

I love sushi!!
 
Sofa G,
No, I was never given that talk. I was never given any talk to be honest!! But props to you for speaking to your girl all about it...

I don't really know what to expect from a man... I know there are still some good guys out there, but whats the standard for the rest of them??
 
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