the patch

[Carmen]

i went off the pill cause frankly, i can't remember to take the stupid thing and even when i do, it ends up tasting gross or i realize i'm a day behind and i have no idea how long its been like that or whatever and i get preggers just by thinking about it.
so my doc said i could use this birth control patch and just change it once a week. he said i could wear it anywhere.
so the first week, i put it on my shoulder blade, and ended up going swimming in a public pool and i realized there's this big THING on my back telling everyone what kind of birth control i use so i haven't really wanted to wear tank tops, which i do a lot.
this past week, i put it on my hip, but its ugly and my nail keeps catching it when i get undressed and now i have adhesive marks all around it.
where can i put this stupid thing? my shin? my forhead?
i'm thinking about the back of my neck cause i have long thick hair and rarely put it up, but that would probably annoy me.
maybe the top of my foot.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

you could stop having sex?

get fixed?

those are about the only other alternatives.

 

[Dial_tone]

right on your ass.....nobody sees that but me anyway and I'm happy it's there.

 

[Carmen]

you could stop having sex?

get fixed?

those are about the only other alternatives.

i shoulda gotten fixed when i had the chance, but i forgot and now i don't want to go in just for that.
and hey, its not like it happens all that often, but leap year is coming up and i want to be prepared.

 

[Carmen]

right on your ass.....nobody sees that but me anyway and I'm happy it's there.

lol... i'd need a bigger patch.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Your ass

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

Buttocks
inside part of your ankle
breast (place it so that your bra will cover it)

 

[Carmen]

Buttocks
inside part of your ankle
breast (place it so that your bra will cover it)

hmm... i'd rather not put it on my best feature, or my worst, so that pretty much eliminates everything by my feet.

ankle sounds good, it'll look like a bandaid if i was wearing sandals.

 

[Dial_tone]

Plan your activities around where your patch is placed.

 

[Carmen]

Plan your activities around where your patch is placed.

i can barely plan dinner from morning till that evening and you think i'm gonna know my activities for a week?
ok, i'm pretty boring... you're probably right.
i think the back of my neck is good. even in a tank top, my hair will cover it.

 

[Dial_tone]

I see a potential market for 'nude' shaded patches.

 

[Carmen]

I see a potential market for 'nude' shaded patches.

lol... 'nude' color for you isn't the same as 'nude' color for me...
i'm PALE. its like a 2" square bandaid. i wish it were leapard spotted. that would be cool. lol

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

Does it really stay on without even slightly lifting off for an entire week? What if you sweat say from working out? What happens when you shower or take a bath? Doesn't the adhesive start to lossen?

I can barely keep a band-aid on for 10 minutes. I couldn't do the patch.

 

[Carmen]

Does it really stay on without even slightly lifting off for an entire week? What if you sweat say from working out? What happens when you shower or take a bath? Doesn't the adhesive start to lossen?

I can barely keep a band-aid on for 10 minutes. I couldn't do the patch.

no, actually its stayed on really well- i shower twice a day and workout about 4 times a week and i went swimming. it didn't lift off at ALL- it just has a little linty line of adhesive around it, that black stuff thats left when you take off surgical tape or a bandaid.
my doc said just don't put it on a joint. (like your hip flexor area, not the kind you'd smoke. lol).
i guess once summer is over i could put it on my quad. or maybe the side of my hip. i don't want it on my breast or ass.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

i say who gives a fuck who can see the patch or not. seriously. if someone asks you what it is and they give you a strange look when you tell them, just say listen, i have a wonderful sex life. i get dick 3x a day every day and that's if it's a slow week. i'm on the patch AND the pill because i'm having so much sex.

 

[Carmen]

i say who gives a fuck who can see the patch or not. seriously. if someone asks you what it is and they give you a strange look when you tell them, just say listen, i have a wonderful sex life. i get dick 3x a day every day and that's if it's a slow week. i'm on the patch AND the pill because i'm having so much sex.

hmm. good idea. what should i tell the grownups?

 

[Buddy_Christ]

hmm. good idea. what should i tell the grownups?

same thing.

teens will look at you in awe and want to be you/be with you.

grownups will freak out unless they're secure in their sexuality. the ones that freak out will do so either because of extreme jealousy or because they are extremely sexually repressed and sex disgusts them if the lights are still on.

and be prepared for someone to ask if it gets boring once in a while. respond with a very confident "no." when they ask how you keep it interesting, just say, "kegels. LOTS of kegels."

 

[Carmen]

same thing.

teens will look at you in awe and want to be you/be with you.

grownups will freak out unless they're secure in their sexuality. the ones that freak out will do so either because of extreme jealousy or because they are extremely sexually repressed and sex disgusts them if the lights are still on.

and be prepared for someone to ask if it gets boring once in a while. respond with a very confident "no." when they ask how you keep it interesting, just say, "kegels. LOTS of kegels."

ok, gotcha. I've written myself notes on index cards and i'm ready for the line of questions now.

 

[SoKlueles]

I put mine on my hip one week, my shoulder one week, and on my ass one week.....but i only took them one month cuz they made me eat like a pig, crave food i hated (like cabbage) and get bitchier than normal

 

[Carmen]

I put mine on my hip one week, my shoulder one week, and on my ass one week.....but i only took them one month cuz they made me eat like a pig, crave food i hated (like cabbage) and get bitchier than normal

LOL... so far i'm fine- not overeating and i'm not really bitchy hardly ever (despite what some people think). i have had a spinach craving lately and i hate spinach.
uh oh.

 

[SoKlueles]

danged green foods

 

[Carmen]

danged green foods

maybe if i eat some green gummy bears i will be able to stay away from spinach.