The Goatslayer Collection

[The Almighty]

I have never posted on the Chat and Conversation board before. I spend all my time on the Anabolic Discussion Board.

Anyway, like you all, I am a great fan of the genius held within the mind of Satanic Goatslayer. I wandered onto the chat board one day and caught one of his elegant yet informative stories. Once I was done laughing my ass off and reflecting, I searched and read all the stories he has ever written.

Whenever I have a shitty day, I like to read his stories so that I can both learn and be cheered up. The problem is, that it takes a while to locate all of his stories within the vast amounts of posts he has written. Dont get me wrong, I like reading him bash May1010, but most of the time all I want are the stories.

With that in mind, I went ahead and located, what I feel, are his greatest achievments, and put them into this collection so that now it is easier than ever to read the work of a genious.

Satanic Goatslayer, I hope you will give me your permission to do this. If you disagree, I will promptly delete this thread, and then proceed to sever my testicles, throw them in the microwave, and serve them to my parents come Thanksgiving.

Read, learn, and enjoy.

P.S. If you appreciate this...I could use the karma.

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=35567&highlight=clubbin

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=6094&highlight=711

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=71645&highlight=advice

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=32846

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=6929

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=6371

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=13655&highlight=anger

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=41984&highlight=euchre

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=66742&highlight=new+war

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=8197

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=10902

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=14525

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=18949

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=27582

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=22353

NEW ADDITION: http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?postid=721054&t=9847#post721054

 

[May1010]

...

 

[mdd]

from one goatslayer fan to another

 

[JustinM]

great stories

peace

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

Anyway, like you all, I am a great fan of the genius held within the mind of Satanic Goatslayer. I wandered onto the chat board one day and caught one of his elegant yet informative stories. Once I was done laughing my ass off and reflecting, I searched and read all the stories he has ever written.

Yes he is a genius, However I wish he wasnt so PC. If he wasnt then he would be a evil genius!

 

[satanic goatslayer]

I forgot about some of those. I must have been inebriated at the time of printing. I'm glad you enjoy my life, it's stressful at times, but that's what my stress-liver is for.

And genius?

C'mon now. I've heard:

freak

weirdo

loser

maniac

grotesque

but genius I just can't fathom.

But, The Almighty, I will have to come to your house and inflict large lacerations to your torso for copyright violations. If you cry, I will have to drill holes into your rib cage and jump on your belly until you bleed to death.

Deal?

 

[doc_pup]

SG, if i pay you a small fee, perhaps the blood of the infidel, would you mind if i used some of your material for some of my songs, i write lyrics and you're imagination is pure genius.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Yes, mongrel blood will be accepted via Western Union.

 

[The Almighty]

But, The Almighty, I will have to come to your house and inflict large lacerations to your torso for copyright violations. If you cry, I will have to drill holes into your rib cage and jump on your belly until you bleed to death.

Deal? [/B]

Shit, I knew I was playing with fire. But, fair is fair. You will recieve an email from me shortly with my name and address. I will also send you money via paypal for an airline ticket (round trip of course). I will shave my torso so that my skin is soft and smooth in preperation for my punishment.

Since I will soon perish, I believe the mods should make this post a sticky, so that everyone can learn.

 

[RADAR]

Like you almighty i enjoy SG threads......so heres some good karma especially for the family album of/Amaf/MOFO!!!LMAO!!! RADAR

 

[Tha One CrumCake]

Bump.

 

[BigBazooka]

PRICELESS THREAD!! TONS OF GOOD KARMA TO ALLMIGHTY!

I read them all and loved them!

 

[BigBazooka]

to the top..

 

[Bodhidogma]

bump for the sickest fuck on elite

 

[Annihilator99]

Almighty, you did forget one, one which was my personal introduction to goatslayer, and I feel is the greatest of his works...




http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=49295&highlight=Madrigals

 

[The Almighty]

Almighty, you did forget one, one which was my personal introduction to goatslayer, and I feel is the greatest of his works...




http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=49295&highlight=Madrigals

Shit man I cant do anything right.

 

[Annihilator99]

Shit man I cant do anything right.

Nah, come on man. You got some posts up in there that I haven't seen. plus, look at your avatar!!! Classic!

 

[RealDeal]

Great post!!!

Easy access to SG greatness!

Karma to you (not that you need it).

 

[manny78]

SG where's the chinaman in your avatar ?

 

[The Almighty]

SG where's the chinaman in your avatar ?

I was wondering that too. The avatar just aint right without Rice Cube inside there.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

I wrote about my trip to the Post Office in another thread, if anyone wants to read it.

And the chinaman?

He's on vacation right now. He wanted to take some time off and get some dental work handled. He'll be back.

 

[RealDeal]

I wrote about my trip to the Post Office in another thread, if anyone wants to read it.

And the chinaman?

He's on vacation right now. He wanted to take some time off and get some dental work handled. He'll be back.

My shit must not be refreshed...need to clear out my cache. I'm still seein' Toothless watching Gary Coleman.

Ahh...there we go...DA GOAT!

 

[The Almighty]

Bump so that more may be enlightened.

 

[Annihilator99]

SG

Is there any story with the goat that's in there?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Yes, but I haven't posted it.

In time, perhaps I will. It is a touching and sentimental piece. I treasure it.

 

[dirtdiva]

Thanks Almighty for the great Satanic Goatslayer archive.
Thank you Satanic Goatslayer for all your hard work and effort. Especially for bringing us up to the minute accounts of your life. Your inspiring stories give me something to look forword to.

 

[Bi-Chick]

We should start a goatslayer board. LMAO at his posts and stories.

 

[Spanky11]

this should be bumped...

the man is a genius

 

[Buddy_Christ]

sweet, i'm going to have to read all of those.

 

[juiceddreadlocks]

what a bastard.

 

[jackangel]

that man sure could play cards

 

[Deterass]

Holy shit!......he's a crazy bastard!

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

*Subscribes*

 

[Spartacus]

cho to hell

 

[vixensghost]

OMG.....Blast from the past.

 

[jack sparrow]

Bumped for your reading pleasure.

I mean, since the board has no substance or real content these days, I thought you folks could use a laugh

 

[KillahBee]

*Subscribes*

Think he ever got laid?

 

[AAP]

Seeing who started this thread was the funniest part for those of you who know the story about him.

 

[Lestat]

great bump!

 

[Spartacus]

where's the goddamn refresh button on this new internet explorer

 

[Spartacus]

A-Wop-Bop-A-Loo-Bop!

 

[Spartacus]

red karma day by god

 

[Spartacus]

I'm getting fucked in the stock market and my stomach's knotted up
shit fuck I cant even look