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I know it sounds like total bullshit, but its true, except for the part with the midget and two monkeys.
I go to the salon to cut my hair. Yes I go to a salon, as I only trust women with my hair. I was there two weeks ago to wax (yes I wax ), and I've only ever been there twice counting today.
So the woman starts washing my hair, and were talking (she's like 60) and she starts telling me that all the girls were talking about me after I left the last time. So that was nice, and I was flattered. I said "That's so nice of you to say, I'm very flattered."
Then the owner starts to cut my hair, and the hair washer sits in the chair next to me, and they both start talking to me about how the girls all gushed about me the last time I was there. Meanwhile the girls are all within hearing distance. So I say a "Wow, I'm going to have to cut my hair here all the time, you ladies are great for my ego." And they keep going on , and my hairdresser says to the receptionist, who is a really cute Latina, isn't that true. And she answers "We were, I'm not shy, I admit I was one of them talking about you, your very handsome, and we all thought so" So now this is really cool, except I look stupid with my hair wet and half cut.
Then my hairdresser starts telling me about her niece, a 36 year old psychologist, who is single and can't find anyone who isn't a jerk. Then she shows me a pic of her niece, which is right where she keeps her hair cutting equipment, and I'm thinking she must try to pawn off her niece on every guy that comes through here. So that was a bummer, and I feel set up. But the niece is pretty, at least in the pic, but I don't like blondes, plus she's 36 and single, so there must be something wrong with her (I know, because so am I).
Then it gets better, at least for me, if not the reader. Because her daughter works there as well, and she gets pouty. And her mother makes a comment to her I can't hear, and the girl kind of walks off angry. But then from the back I can hear, and everyone else as well, the mother say, "He's too old for you" which I am, since she's only 21, but the best looking one of the bunch. She even looks younger than 21, and the last time I went I thought she was in high school, and told her so, then apologized saying "well, you'll probably still look young for your age when your older...."
So then the mom comes back and starts finishing cutting my hair, and talking up her niece again. But she does throw in a "my daughter is single too, but she's young for you" and I agreed.
So now I'm thinking maybe this happens everywhere I go, or everytime I leave a room. Maybe I should hire someone to stay behind a while any time I leave somewhere to see who talks about me. Oh, then this midget had sex with two monkeys.
I go to the salon to cut my hair. Yes I go to a salon, as I only trust women with my hair. I was there two weeks ago to wax (yes I wax ), and I've only ever been there twice counting today.
So the woman starts washing my hair, and were talking (she's like 60) and she starts telling me that all the girls were talking about me after I left the last time. So that was nice, and I was flattered. I said "That's so nice of you to say, I'm very flattered."
Then the owner starts to cut my hair, and the hair washer sits in the chair next to me, and they both start talking to me about how the girls all gushed about me the last time I was there. Meanwhile the girls are all within hearing distance. So I say a "Wow, I'm going to have to cut my hair here all the time, you ladies are great for my ego." And they keep going on , and my hairdresser says to the receptionist, who is a really cute Latina, isn't that true. And she answers "We were, I'm not shy, I admit I was one of them talking about you, your very handsome, and we all thought so" So now this is really cool, except I look stupid with my hair wet and half cut.
Then my hairdresser starts telling me about her niece, a 36 year old psychologist, who is single and can't find anyone who isn't a jerk. Then she shows me a pic of her niece, which is right where she keeps her hair cutting equipment, and I'm thinking she must try to pawn off her niece on every guy that comes through here. So that was a bummer, and I feel set up. But the niece is pretty, at least in the pic, but I don't like blondes, plus she's 36 and single, so there must be something wrong with her (I know, because so am I).
Then it gets better, at least for me, if not the reader. Because her daughter works there as well, and she gets pouty. And her mother makes a comment to her I can't hear, and the girl kind of walks off angry. But then from the back I can hear, and everyone else as well, the mother say, "He's too old for you" which I am, since she's only 21, but the best looking one of the bunch. She even looks younger than 21, and the last time I went I thought she was in high school, and told her so, then apologized saying "well, you'll probably still look young for your age when your older...."
So then the mom comes back and starts finishing cutting my hair, and talking up her niece again. But she does throw in a "my daughter is single too, but she's young for you" and I agreed.
So now I'm thinking maybe this happens everywhere I go, or everytime I leave a room. Maybe I should hire someone to stay behind a while any time I leave somewhere to see who talks about me. Oh, then this midget had sex with two monkeys.
