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For the men…..
Honey does this dress make me look fat?
Dear you look simply beautiful, I like you best nekkid! (Say nekkid, not naked)
Honey do you like my new hair cut, you didn’t even notice?!
Sorry, I was too busy lost the warm glow of your gorgeous eyes.
Where were you, It’s 2:30 in the morning and your half drunk? Why didn’t you call me?
Dear, I helped “ Your bosses name here” with a flat tire and we started talking about work and just life in general and decided to have a few beers. You know “your bosses name here” is really not a bad guy, sorry time just got away from me….
(Note two weeks later when you are bitching about your boss just say that he isn’t the person you thought he would be! Women relate to that answer very well, gay men don’t)
Why were you looking at here?
Can you believe that a woman would were ______ , it is just not right to go around dressed up like some cheep floozy!!!
Or
Isn’t that “name of a movie star that this person may even mildly resemble”?
I would like to go to the ballet on “Date/Time”?
Wait, isn’t that the same evening as Bob and Marge’s Tupperware / Amway party? Wouldn’t want to miss that now would we. (Note: Personally I’d rather crawl through a mind field strewn with glass than go to the ballet)
Honey why don’t you go out with the guys tonight?
Sweetheart there is nothing I would rather do than to sit her with you and cut out squares of paper!
For The Ladies…
Am I losing my hair?
Come here you big hunk of a man! (Proceed to give him a BJ!)
Honey, am I getting a beer gut?
Come here you big hunk of a man! (Proceed to give him a BJ! Then bend over and in a breathy voice say “Do me really dirty you stud!”)
Sweaty Pie, Do you think I’m getting man-tits?
(Okay, if he ask this, run! He already has man-tits! There are just some things no one should have to put up with!)
Is my dick big?
“God it is the hugest, hardest, throbbing love muscle I’ve ever seen. I can barley take it all!!!”
Did you cum?
(Note: If he has to ask, you know and I know you didn’t but….”Honey, I just wanted to make you feel happy right now.” Or “I thought my head was going to explode with that one!”)
Honey does this dress make me look fat?
Dear you look simply beautiful, I like you best nekkid! (Say nekkid, not naked)
Honey do you like my new hair cut, you didn’t even notice?!
Sorry, I was too busy lost the warm glow of your gorgeous eyes.
Where were you, It’s 2:30 in the morning and your half drunk? Why didn’t you call me?
Dear, I helped “ Your bosses name here” with a flat tire and we started talking about work and just life in general and decided to have a few beers. You know “your bosses name here” is really not a bad guy, sorry time just got away from me….
(Note two weeks later when you are bitching about your boss just say that he isn’t the person you thought he would be! Women relate to that answer very well, gay men don’t)
Why were you looking at here?
Can you believe that a woman would were ______ , it is just not right to go around dressed up like some cheep floozy!!!
Or
Isn’t that “name of a movie star that this person may even mildly resemble”?
I would like to go to the ballet on “Date/Time”?
Wait, isn’t that the same evening as Bob and Marge’s Tupperware / Amway party? Wouldn’t want to miss that now would we. (Note: Personally I’d rather crawl through a mind field strewn with glass than go to the ballet)
Honey why don’t you go out with the guys tonight?
Sweetheart there is nothing I would rather do than to sit her with you and cut out squares of paper!
For The Ladies…
Am I losing my hair?
Come here you big hunk of a man! (Proceed to give him a BJ!)
Honey, am I getting a beer gut?
Come here you big hunk of a man! (Proceed to give him a BJ! Then bend over and in a breathy voice say “Do me really dirty you stud!”)
Sweaty Pie, Do you think I’m getting man-tits?
(Okay, if he ask this, run! He already has man-tits! There are just some things no one should have to put up with!)
Is my dick big?
“God it is the hugest, hardest, throbbing love muscle I’ve ever seen. I can barley take it all!!!”
Did you cum?
(Note: If he has to ask, you know and I know you didn’t but….”Honey, I just wanted to make you feel happy right now.” Or “I thought my head was going to explode with that one!”)
