daised said:
The appeal? I love him becaus (generally) he makes me a better person. I feel good about ,myself when around him, and he understands me.
OK Daised here it is:
You say you love him. I am not trying to tell you how YOU feel, but TRUST ME when I tell you that at 17 YOU DO NOT HAVE AN INKLING as to what love is. I am a little older (hehehhee) and I am STILL trying to figure it out. MY CHILDREN have taught me more about love than I HAVE TAUGHT THEM! When a couple has been married for like 50 years and they still reach for each other's careworn hands when they walk together and have respect, admiration and true friendship - THAT IS LOVE. The rest of us have the rest of our lives to figure it out.
What you are feeling is HORMONAL.
If you and he were truly affecting each other positively you would not smoke weed OR drink and he would also not engage in recreational drug use or have trouble with the law.
daised said:
He has helped me grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally so much.
If this were TRULY the case NEITHER of you would engage in the behaviors that you now engage in. Why? Because you would realize that it compromises your selfworth.
daised said:
I just wonder if maybe now it's my turn to test my inner strength and help him grow. I want him to realise he doesn't have to drugs and stop doing g. it really kinda upsets me, but i can't say much since i smoke weed and drink.
This is the part that I find MOST disturbing....
You say that you want to test your innerstrength and help him realize that he doesn't have to do drugs.... yet you do them ALSO!
Daised - I don't know you and I am impressed that you didn't go off and start name-calling.... my post was harsh. IT WAS MEANT TO BE.
I want you to take a look at your life and think more clearly! You are young and THROWING IT ALL AWAY!
At the age of 17 you should be less concerned with love and more concerned with your future.... otherwise you WILL endup like your parents (I am not passing judgement, just pointing out what you stated.) How are your grades? Do you have universities selected to attend? Do you know what you want to pursue?
Hey, I have four kids and am at the tail end (God-willing) of a divorce that was VERY UGLY and could have been avoided. I did NOT finish college - got married instead (BRAINDEAD MOVE OF THE CENTURY!!!). Now I have to "fix my head, heal my heart, finish my education, support myself and my girls"..... My ex was not an alcoholic or druggie - nor did he have trouble with the law, but the end result was the same nonetheless. He was not a bad guy. Just not good enough for me......
DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES THAT I DID.
THINK ABOUT IT - LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL - YOU WILL NOT GET A SECOND CHANCE!
What you are feeling is less love and more low self esteem. YOU WILL NOT FIND YOUR SELF-WORTH FROM A MAN - PERIOD!