Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
(The 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth the read too....)
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to
develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1.
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] El Presidente
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name: .....................
Last Name: ...................
Password: ...................... (max. 8 char)
Code Name:.....................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19......./......./......
4. Serial Number:.....................................
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iran
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
intend to purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Chemical or Biological Weapons of mass destruction
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all that apply
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicatethe interests
and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular
basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus
for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write
to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace
Division.
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons
with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious
beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either
explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux
pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct
context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although
the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be
gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by
reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from
Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around
yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you
and your pets.
If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg
and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk
briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to
develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1.
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] El Presidente
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name: .....................
Last Name: ...................
Password: ...................... (max. 8 char)
Code Name:.....................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19......./......./......
4. Serial Number:.....................................
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iran
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
intend to purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Chemical or Biological Weapons of mass destruction
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all that apply
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicatethe interests
and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular
basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus
for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write
to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace
Division.
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons
with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious
beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either
explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux
pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct
context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although
the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be
gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by
reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from
Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around
yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you
and your pets.
If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg
and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk
briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.
