Stupid small town rumors

[mountain muscle]

well just got back from a friend's place who told me there is apparently a flurry of rumors in town about me. A few of my favorites:

I got some girl pregnant, without ever sleeping with her and then bailed on her. This one actually sucks because I have to prove I didn't and a lot of people are pissed at me. WTF?

IN addition to the above girl I am dating and sleeping with 3 other girls ranging in age from 17!!??!! to 41. So far no other pregnancies though, whew.

I must be a crazy sleep walker because apparently I am getting around up here.

So ladies of EF please be careful around me, I have been known to get women pregnant from afar.

Please oh please I hope the drilling gods move me from this small town to the Gulf or offshore or better yet South America!

I am tired of everyone wanting to know my life or making up what they don't.

Cocktail time tonight. I hope I don't get anyone pregnant.

 

[hamstershaver]

next time wrap it

 

[mountain muscle]

next time wrap it

Damn Hammy I have to wear one even when I am not getting any?

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

I have had a couple small town rumors about me....None were pleasant.

 

[hamstershaver]

Damn Hammy I have to wear one even when I am not getting any?

yes

 

[mountain muscle]

yes

If I put on a cowbot hat and sing like Chesney will Soklu apply them nightly for me then?

 

[wnt2bBeast]

how small is your town?

 

[mountain muscle]

About 3500 people if you include the surrounding areas

 

[Gambino]

them moutain folks are shit talkers, every single one *spits copehagen juice*

 

[mountain muscle]

Are you my neighbor? I swear I didn't touch your cattle!

 

[Gambino]

Are you my neighbor? I swear I didn't touch your cattle!

bwoy, you best be keeping your mountain mitts off my cattle *stares mean at the computer screen*

 

[mountain muscle]

OKay I promise I will from now on. I just couldn't resist making your milking cows milk me.

Just once.

Okay three times, the fourth time, she didn't finish.

 

[big4life]

I get a kick from workplace rumors like the one that had me dating this woman at work for over two months. Like I told someone, I wish they would have told me because I missed all the fun.

 

[mountain muscle]

I hear ya big4life. I missed out on all the fun too damnit!

 

[BileStew]

I have had a couple small town rumors about me....None were pleasant.

I swear I left her by the river
I swear I left her safe and sound
I need to make it to the river
And leave this old Nebraska town

 

[H_T_]

idle hands..........

 

[mountain muscle]

No one cares myu good name is being slandered? I bet the feds and tBoy are behind this.

 

[UA_Iron]

Friend moved out to indiana to a small town

sure enough he had rumors being spread that he got some chick pregnant - they seem to love that one.

 

[Gambino]

No one cares myu good name is being slandered? I bet the feds and tBoy are behind this.

betcha mines smaller than yours

 

[Testosterone boy]

No one cares myu good name is being slandered? I bet the feds and tBoy are behind this.

Damn feds deny my existence.

I do the work that nobody likes to talk about.

 

[Gambino]

Damn feds deny my existence.

I do the work that nobody likes to talk about.

You should read the book "Behold a Pale Horse" by William Cooper.

seriously.